Should I let him come in my mouth - even though he seems to have issues that bother me?

[Anonymous]

OK, so I understand that being able to come in her mouth during a BJ is more pleasurable for the guy and it's a feeling that is hard to duplicate. But my guy has a problem with looking at or kissing me afterwords. Like for a long awhile. The not looking at me parts seems to be some sort of deep seated guilt, I don't know if he thinks he's making me do something I don't like ( I try to reassure him that he's not) or if he thinks it cheapens me somehow. He says he doesn't know. Then there's the kissing thing. He can't kiss me for a long time after (even an hour later). It really bothers him. I try not to look at him or kiss him for awhile, so not to make him uncomfortable, but I forget sometimes. Sex between a devoted couple is supposed to be about bonding as well as fun, yet I find myself having to remember to pull back. My question is this guys : How important would the come part be to you? If your girlfriend said - "Kissing and looking at me after, make you uncomfortable and in turn that makes me uncomfortable. It certainly spoils the mood for me. ". How would you feel? Would you feel she was taking away something important? Or is there something else I can do. I want to be sensitive to his feelings, but I am having mixed feelings of my own. Any suggestion?

[Evolution86]

My problem with your situation is this, he claims to have a problem coming in your mouth, but he does it anyway, and after won't look at you or kiss you. When my boyfriend first suggested coming in my mouth, I asked him a very important question, a couple of them actually, but I'll fill you in a bit on the scenario, without the details. We were out camping, and extremely ill equipped. No paper towel, no kleenex, and the only toilet paper around was in the washroom at the campground. Now, when he suggested it, I asked him first if he was still going to kiss me afterward, because I've dated guys who claim this is their problem with oral. Secondly, I asked if he was going to get me a flavoured drink of some sort to wash the taste out until I got to the bathroom to brush my teeth. Of course he said yes to both, and even offered to walk with me to the bathroom, as it was the middle of the night in the middle of nowhere.

My advice would be to say exactly what you put here. Tell him that his actions are making you uncomfortable and upset because you enjoy the entire act of oral, but he's being selfish and childish in the respect of not kissing or looking at you. It isn't fair, and it's definitely not right. Other than that, I would suggest not letting him come in your mouth. If he decides he wants to all the time, tell him your stipulations. My boyfriend knows the drill, and whenever he comes in my mouth, right after I swallow and have generally have a drink of juice, he's all over me kissing me and caressing me, making me feel like a million bucks. He enjoys it, and I enjoy it because he does.

[Asker]

I do need to talk to him. fortunatly, he doen't want to come in my mouth all the time. And I he doesn't cum, he has not problem kissing. Just if he cums, he has this problem. He say he loves the feeling of cuming in my mouth, But when he does, it is now a problem that effects both of us and I can't do it. I'm just glad I'm not the only one ths would be a deal breaker for. I thought maybe his problem was something all or most guys have & so all girls except. I love him, but I need to draw a line

[Evolution86]

He'll need to understand your feelings, instead of only taking his feelings into account. If my boyfriend said he wouldn't kiss me afterward, I would tell him "Then I guess you're not getting off. No kiss after, no come in my mouth, end of story." And like your guy, mine doesn't always come in my mouth either, but that's mostly my choice. But when he does, he still makes sure to shower me with affection, which is only to be expected.

[the_cheshire_cat]

screw that. He wants to treat you that way after you do something as symbolic as that he can go to hell.

you're right sex between a devoted couple is supposed to be about bonding and fun.. about trust and accepting each other and not making one or the other feel like he's making you feel for doing something that has great meaning.

He's an ungrateful little turd. Don't do it anymore for him! He wants to come into something get him a blow up doll or hollow out a watermelon or an apple pie for him or something.

Don't let his immature sniveling actions make you feel like crap. What you were/are willing to do for him is wonderful, sweet, deep... he can't appreciate such a thing.. screw him! And not litterally.

[Asker]

Thanks. Now I don't feel so bad about not wanting to do that part anymore. I mean I know he has some kind of issue, but I don't really feel it's fair to me. I thought he might work past it, but now I'm not sure. It would be nice if guys didn't like the BJ thing so much. I don't think the girl get much out of it, other than knowing she made her man feel good. They put so much importance on that one part of their body. He says he loves what I do, but I'm just not sure it's worth it. Thanks again!

[the_cheshire_cat]

Hun, from the sounds of how he makes you feel after you do it- it's not worth it. It's hurting your emotional well being- sacrificing yourself for HIS pleasure. The few guys I've given a BJ to and swallowed- would grab me and kiss me passionately right after. It's like sealing the act and showing the utmost acceptance and appreciation. He won't do that for you, don't do it for him.

[Asker]

You're right. It is hurting me. He is the only guy I have ever been with, so it helps to know not all guys have that problem. He is very gentle and caring otherwise, just that one thing gets him acting so strange. I don't understand, but think I need to protect my own feelings a little bit on this one. thank you

[TheMajesticSea]

Everyone is different. I've swallowed come before and I like doing it. It doesn't taste that great but I love how it makes the guy feel.

Having said that, the way he wants to treat you is bullsh*t. I wouldn't even be dating a guy who thinks about sex that way. If he's just another f*** buddy sure that's fine, but that doesn't sound like someone I want to be thinking of as my boyfriend who I make love with. My advice? Drop him quick.

[Asker]

I may keep him - just drop the come part. Usually he is very considerate of me. Worries about me and tries to make me happy. But on this one thing he goes all strange. He wants it, then acts all weired. I don't think I can do that part any longer. It leaves me feeling almost rejected and that's not what it supposed to be about. I think I have to tell him that I know he tried to get past it, but can't so I can't. thanks

[Petertheniceguy]

Don't do it if it makes him so creeped out.

Not selfish at all. I've never actually had that experience before, my last girlfriend could not give a bj for very long without triggering a massive gag reflex (it made her puke with her last bf) so I didn't force her to do it.

Unless he can get over his little "problem"... no more cuming in the mouth for that boy.

[Anonymous]

Its very important to me but I'm like him I don't want to kiss you afterward either because its like puting my own d*** in my mouth so I don't let her kiss me for a while and then before I do I kinda tell her to get mouth wash...he is thinking about his own come being in your his own mouth that's why he doesn't want to kiss you

[Littletad]

If he's really enjoying your blowjobs and wants to come in your mouth, then he should be man enough to accept a kiss from you afterward. If not, then he's pretty selfish.

[Asker]

Thanks! I needed to hear that from a guy. it lets me know I'm not being selfsh by feeling this way. Thanks again!

[Girlsarethebest]

I've got no problem kissing after a blowjob if she wants I'll swallow it, I also pleasure her orally after I've come and I love it when she watches

[mahalic007]

as long as she cleans her mouth out right after sure ill kiss her

[Anonymous]

He needs to grow up. As for how important her letting me come in her mouth, its not. Screw being sensitive about his feelings he's not to worried about yours.

[Asker]

Thank you! I was afraid I was being silly or selfish, but you make me feel better about not wanting to do it anymore. He wants t, then gets all strange. I know he has some kind of issue and want to be understanding, but it kind of hurts me and that's not right. I'm glad to hear a guy agree with me on this. Don't get me wrong. He is a good man, who treats me well on other things. Trys to protect me even, but sometimes he just confuses the heck out of me. Thanks!