I can't stop thinking of my best friend sexually?

[Anonymous]

So me and my good friend have known each other since elementary school. we didn't start to get close until high school. I thought she was too hot for me so I never tried to be anything more than just friends and that's exactly where we ended up being. only we didn't just become friends, we became best friends. I tell her everything and she tells me everything and we know almost every dirty little secret about each other. for a long time I was content with our friendship and didn't want to risk losing it by pressuring her into a possible romance. We've both done and said things to make it very clear we only want to be friends but lately she's been the only girl running through my head. when I dream at night its her I think of. when we hang out I long to lean down and kiss her. from a logical stand point I could tell you a hundred reasons why we wouldn't be an effective couple but I still feel myself getting drawn to her. She is still incredibly gorgeous and I think that I'm just feeling sexual tension towards her. how do I go about finding the truth behind my feelings? has anyone slept with their best friend to relieve the tension? Should I go out and find a new girl to get my mind off her?

[Anonymous]

This is never an easy thing to deal with. Being best friends is great, but if you want more than you are going to have to tell her or you'll regret it later. I am assuming that you guys have had the the talk that no matter what happens you will always be friends.

It's time to come clean and let her know how you feel. It could even be in just asking her to go out one night. This should not be a thing you text or do over the phone. Go to a restaurant, doesn't have to be fancy, and talk over a nice meal. Food is always a great option.

Next thing is to keep that you are attracted to her sexually off the table. You like the girl for more than just that and she needs to know that is the most important thing.

Sleeping with her will NOT relieve tension. It can only complicate things more and if she's the kind of girl who does agree with a one night stand then chances are she could take the sleeping together the wrong way. You need to get those feelings out on the table.

And finding a new girl will not get this one off your mind. It will distract for a while, but you will always thing well maybe I should have told her. Watch My Best Friends Wedding, it's a chick flick, but it might help to make you see why you should tell her.

Hope this helps and good luck.

[Asker]

One of the biggest problems is I live 4 hours away so I can't just call her on a whim to hang on. ill see her his weekend and later on in october but right now I'm competing with another guys affection. there are so many complicated lttle details making this difficult. is there anything else I should avoid doing or saying? if you were this girl and your best friend approached you how would you react if you liked him? if you didn't?

[Opinion Owner]

Be honest. If you two tell each other everything then honesty will win out over lying. As for her reaction, it varies on each person. Personally I would probably be a little shocked, but if I liked him I'd be happy because I wouldn't need to hide my feelings anymore. If I didn't like him I would let him know. If you two are as open as you say then she'll appreciate the honesty. Just don't come out and blurt it out. Kind of need to work into it just a little. Again hope this helps.

[Asker]

She'd has been bouncing through boyfriend after boyfriend and. I always counsel her on her problems. I've even told her the best ways to turn guys on. would you approach your best friend for guy advice if you liked him? or maybe she also has it in her head well only just be friends so she isn't worried about asking those types of questions

[alexis7]

DO NOT DO IT. I ended up falling really hard for my best friend. we hooked up, and were seeing each other for a while, but it did not work out at all. I ended up losing a lover and a best friend. it happened 7 months ago and I'm still not over it.

[PredictablePen]

ive never really been in that kind of situation in the extreme that you are in. but I've had one situation where I liked a friend I've known forever, but I was afraid to even say anything to her about it just because I didn't want to ruin a friendship that good. so what I did was exactly what yur asking: I went out and pursued girls with a lot more effort than normal just to get my mind off of her.

now you may decide that you could want to be with her. just make sure that its worth it if you do. if its really worth risking yur friendship. relationships can ruin friendships...not always, but they definently have and definently will.

i kind of agree with the other guy that you need to tell her how you feel...regardless of what it is, she's yur friend, and friends are honest with each other. and you yurself said that you two tell each other everything...as well as dirty little secrets...and as hard as it would be to tell her, its probably something that definently qualifies as a dirty little secret don't you think

[MILLIONDOLLARSMILE]

Well if you two start dating it could lead to arguments, and someone is going to regret something.

Just tell her since you guys already tell each other everything. Just be like ".. I can't stop thinking about you, I want you to be my girl but I am afraid it'll ruin are relationship. I just wanted to tell you."

or something. I think she'll understand.

[Asker]

Dude that's terrible advice. I'm just supposed to walk up to my best friend of 5 years who I've never been intimate with and tell her out of the blue that I suddenly have feelings for her but I hope it doesn't change things? I was looking for some real world experience on this matter, not just speculation. thank you for your effort, though.

[MILLIONDOLLARSMILE]

Lol I would. You have to understand that we're all human. It would be odd if you say it 40 years later, or even you don't tell her at all.

[krittles1441]

I think what he meant to say what that you should tell her and not wait till you regret it later in life. Just go for it. In a more gentle way than simply coming out and saying it.

[Threeatatime]

Dude, your like that guy of Zach and learie make a p*rno... Whatch that movie