Sexual Health
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My husband just confessed to me that everytime he jerks off he thinks about his ex fiancee. she broke up with him long ago. should I be worried?

he says guys never jerk off to their significant others.
0 0

Most Helpful Guys

  • For what it's worth, I think of my current partner but also ex-partners if I masturbate without visual stimulation. That does not mean that I want my ex-girlfriend back, that just means that I like to think of some of the good sex we had. I think he's normal for thinking (also) about his ex when he masturbates, I simply think he's stupid for telling you :-) Everybody has a right to their private garden, we don't need no stinking thought police.

  • Well, it's not true that no guys ever masturbate to the thought of their significant other.
    Otherwise, I wouldn't worry about his fantasy material unless there's reason to believe he's cheating. Don't know why he'd admit to the fantasy if it could lead to getting caught cheating, so either you're fine or you have terrible taste in fellas.

Most Helpful Girls

  • He should have never told you that. As long as he isn't actually screwing his ex, it should be okay. A fantasy is just a fantasy. I think he admitted that just to hurt you and that is messed up. I can guess that it feels like you got slapped in the face and punched in the stomach at the same time. Just try to let it go. What goes on in his head has nothing to do with you. His actions do.

    • would it not affect your confidence in your sex life over time? basically you can look amazing during sex or not that great atall but doesn't matter if you put effort or not he's fantasizing about some one else. would you be ok with that?

    • It's none of my business. I cannot and will not fault someone for thoughts. Yes, it would hurt me if it was rubbed in my face, which is why I'd rather not know about his fantasies. I wouldn't let it destroy my confidence or self worth though.

    • Ok , I guess if that works for you then good. I would rather be alone than be with someone who was not into me and fantasized about someone even in their thoughts.

    • Show All

  • I'd be worried. My boyfriend used to jerk off to me, so I'm not sure about the accuracy of his statement

  • He sounds insensitive
    I would be offended than worried

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What Girls & Guys Said

4 16

  • Probably the worst part is that he told you that.

  • I'd be concerned. I'd also get his butt into therapy, to work out this issue, of why he is fixated on his ex.

    • what makes you think he's fixated? they broke up 15 hears ago

    • Because every time he jerks off for the last fifteen years, he thinks of his ex fiance.

    • why do you think thats bad?

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  • Yes you should

    • why?

  • Why did he tell you?

    • caught him looking at naked pics of the ex

    • Oh wow. I don’t think it matters if it’s normal or not. What matters is how you feel about his actions.

  • He's right. Masturbatory fantasy often goes in the direction of the new, unknown, or the "strange".

    • so I shouldn't worry then?

    • Probably not. I admit. To hear him say that was probably jarring. But the mental aspects of sex are a mine field of symbolism and not much is as it appears on the surface.

  • Don't worry about that.

  • Thats messed up you can always tell him you know other men jerk off to you i would

  • I don't think so

  • Yeah they do, for some reason he is more sexually attracted to his ex, this is not uncommon, if you only had one partner then you could not compare. Women out there would be similar, they just don't talk about it. You may have pissed your boyfriend off, so he has blurted this out.

  • 1. He is lying. most guys jerk off to other things when they have no interest in their present partner. sorry but that is the truth
    2. He needs help to overcome his issue vis therapy or otherwise you may have issues brewing up. again sorry for bieng blunt.

    • do you think he's still into her?

    • broadly asked... very dependant. In my experience true nature comes out only by talking. In short his ex - most definitely , his wife Depends on their sex life.

  • Revenge is revenge ! Either u think about some one else or u be dominant & he be submissive! That way it will lit your life

  • He's lying! Lying bugger.

    • lying? how so

  • Just WOW!!! he's a dick.

  • humm that is disturbing

    • please elaborate

    • i think he not let go of his ex

  • Make sure he jerks off about you. No I don't think you have anything to worry about.

  • He is right

    • so no big deal then?

    • I think it's weird that he jerks off to bis ex. So it's a big deal but guys realy don't jerk off to his actual girlfriend

  • He's full of shit he's not over her if he had the chance he'd be right back with her

    • really? just because he jerks off to her?

    • Yes really

  • It's mostly okay. I mean depending on the guy

  • I think the bigger problem is he felt you should know that

  • If my boyfriend told me he jerked off to his ex girlfriend I would be pretty pissed and maybe dump him

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Home >  Sexual Health  > My husband just confessed to me that everytime he jerks off he thinks about his ex fiancee. she broke up with him long ago. should I be worried?