Boyfriend Looking at Pics of Naked Women with Me in the Next Room?

Okay, so here's the deal...I have a very very hard time being okay with the fact that my boyfriend of 8 months looks at pictures of naked women. And what is worse, he'll look at it with me in the next room, then come to me after he is aroused from these pictures.

I am bothered for 3 reasons:

1) I'm very uncomfortable with my body as a lot of women these days are due to the current version of how women should look, past relationships, and also due to a disturbing upbringing. So yes, low self-esteem, bad self-image, zero self-confidence...though I know I am attractive.

2) I wouldn't be upset if it were just p*rn and it wouldn't be so bad if these pictures were of couples but they are of solo naked women in very provocative poses. He takes his phone to the bathroom and bookmarks these pages. Then, he will come to me after being aroused...but in his defense, there have been many times that we have sex where he hasn't looked at these pictures - or at least that is what he tells me.

3) I have an extremely high sex drive and want it all the time. Seriously. I could get it all day long and still beg for more. Most nights though, the only way I can get any is if I wake him up to it. So, I have to physically arouse him most of the time, even when he's not asleep and he will barely touch me.

Because of this, my self-esteem is even lower. I feel that he is not physically attracted to me anymore though he tells me all the time that I am beautiful and sexy...I certainly don't feel like either let alone both. I have tried so hard to regain his interest with sexy lingerie, role-playing, dirty talk, watch p*rn with him, and even with pictures of myself in provocative poses.

Now, I have expressed my feelings to him and explained why I am uncomfortable with the pictures not once, but three times and I have even told him that I understand that it is a natural thing and I am trying to get over my self-esteem issues, all I ask is that he gives me time to get over my issues and that he doesn't look at these pictures while I am there. Am I being unreasonable for being so upset that he keeps doing it or is it an uncontrollable urge?


Most Helpful Guy

  • You don't have a problem he does. Actually its kinda wrong what he is doing. If he can't understand that leave him. For a woman with self-esteem issues this is kinda a slap in the face. Especially if he knows you have issues. On your end you need to build some confidence, and being with someone that looks at pics 24/7 of other women does not help. Payback is a Bit** get a vibrator go in the bathroom get off walk past him and go to sleep.

    • Thank you. Coming from a guy, your answer means a lot. Especially since the only reason he can give me for doing it anyway is that he's a man and that's what men do.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • He's just not happy. That's not your problem though, it's his.

    • Wow...if he isn't happy, what the hell is he doing with me? Shouldn't it be my problem? Doesn't it mean he isn't happy with me?

What Girls Said 1

  • Hi rebelliousrevelry,

    First, I have to say that you're really cute, and you have no reason to under-estimate yourself. You are smart, sensitive, and thoughtful.

    That guy is wrong, he shouldn't treat you that way. I'm telling you that because, if I were you, I wouldn't stand him, and I would immediatly dump him.

    Tell him to stop, otherwise, do what you need to do : leave. Because you deserve much better.

    • Thanks for the compliment and I really appreciate your advice. The only thing is I would feel bad if I gave him an ultimatum like that. I don't want to restrict him or control him by any means.