How to tell a guy you're a virgin without scaring him off?

[HotPepper302]

I think that I'm a reasonably attractive girl. I'm smart, athletic, adventurous, and have a laid-back and open-minded personality. (I hope that this doesn't make me sound conceited, but I just wanted to clarify that I'm not repulsive or anything). The difficulty that I'm having with dating, though, is that I'm a virgin. This has nothing to do with religion, and I don't plan on staying this way until marriage... I was just slow getting into the dating scene, because I was always so caught up in other things that I never really had time for a serious relationship... That, and I refuse to settle for someone who I don't really want to be with. I get a decent amount of male attention, but am generally uninterested. But lately, I've started dating a bit more frequently, because I feel like I'm ready to give love a shot. I've kissed guys and stuff, but I'm sexually inexperienced otherwise... Guys my age and over are generally pretty experienced at this point in their lives, and are used to girls who are as well. So now, whenever I start to develop feelings for a guy who's expressed interest in me too, I get nervous, because I know that once things start getting serious, I'm going to have to tell him that I have no idea what I'm doing, and I'm afraid that it will scare him away. I don't want him to think that there's something wrong with me, or that I'm some sort of freak... Or that I expect him to marry me... 'Cause that's just not the case. I'm also worried that I'll be horrible, and he'll be disappointed. How should I handle this situation?

[Levin]

I think virgin women are tremendously cute. Provided you're not a prude or religious in some way. I would take it as a huge compliment that she should like to lose it with me. I think you should just be honest about it. Provided you know the guy well enough to know he is worthwhile. Some guys might get off on the idea of taking another girl's virginity. It's not a big deal to me anyway. And if it will scare some guys away, then it's their huge loss! You shouldn't care about them. Why would a guy who rejects you over something so petty be worth giving it to? But I reckon any decent or sensible guy should respect you and want to help make the experience a pleasurable one. So yeah, just be honest, and talk about it. It's no big deal. Believe me, from personal experience, there are more older women virgins than you think. (well I say older, older than their teens).

[itsweird182]

You can just tell him you have been waiting for the right guy. He will probably respect you more because of it, I know I would and I am also 21. I would love to find a girl like you! I myself have only had one partner.

[JCUcupcake]

I'm kinda the same way as you are. It depends on whether you think that the relationship is going to get serious enough to tell him. If it does, and you just casually tell him, I'm sure he won't be freaked out. I bet he may even respect you more because you are not sleeping with every guy you meet, and that you care about yourself enough to want to be with the right guy. And if he does freak out, that's probably not the guy that you want to be with. Hope this helps! :)

[emzy-89]

just tell him, if he's worth it then it won't bother him. I'm 21 and a viring also and I told my last boyfriend and he didn't like it so I dumped him. it wasn't an ideal situation but I'm better off.

[beans]

If you know that it's not going to last, then don't tell him you are one. If I was in your situation, I'd get someone to quickly get it over with and move onto the next guy

[HotPepper302]

I don't want to sleep with someone if I don't think it's going to last... I want it to be with someone I care about!

[beans]

In that case, just tell them the truth and hope for the best.

[SoulTree]

Guys love virgins

And don't feel bad, I am 21 also and still a virgin and have never really cared about the assumptions or the opinions of other people.