How to be dominant in bed?

I'm looking for some tips on how to become more dominant in bed. I've been trying to lately as my boyfriend has been wanting me too, but I find I run out of ideas. I really want to make it fun! What are some things I can do? Would really appreciate some help!

Just wanted to add that we use handcuffs and things so it'd be nice if you could incorporate those as well ;)


Most Helpful Guy

  • This is a cool way to be dominant:

    1. First you need to get him turned on - be more aggressive, grab his stuff, slowly massage his balls through his pants, it's important that you act as seductive as possible - the more you're turned on - the more he'll be turned on. Pull his pants down slowly and act as naughty as possible - this is a great turn on.

    2. Grab his hand and lick on his fingers slowly before you give him head - just put his middle finger slowly into your mouth and suck on it, up and down, slide it slowly and moan - you have to moan a lot so he feels like a king.

    3. As you're licking one finger, slowly start stroking his shaft (penis) with your other hand, you have to be on your knees and he should be standing, look him in the eyes - this way you can see his reactions. You need to love giving him head if you want him to really enjoy it.

    4. Most girls make the mistake of being too soft - don't do that, grab his penis tightly and stroke it hard, as you're twisting his shaft with one hand slowly start sucking on the head (the tip) of his penis, curl your tongue around it, twist it in circles, then point it upwards and slowly lick it while you're watching him.

    5. Say something like "mmmmm I love it" then smile, smiling is very important - it conveys that you love it. Keep on stroking and sucking harder.

    6. Start talking dirty to him, put your hands around his balls and tickle them gently - make sure you are gentle 'cause his balls are very sensitive, as you're tickling, keep on stroking and sucking.

    7. Once you see that he's getting closer start stroking harder - and don't even think about slowing down. Scream at him, tell him you want it - tell him where you want it (swallowing will make him go crazy just as you want it) - then as he starts to come, you have 2 options - you can hold his penis or he can hold it - I suggest you let him hold it and squeeze it out.

    8. Then hold his penis and stroke it slowly, just as if you were trying to squeeze every last drop out of him into your mouth, give it a few more finishing licks.

    9. Then smile at him, open your mouth and show him what you've got in your mouth, smile, then swallow all of it - then look up at him again and open your mouth to show him it's gone. If you REALLY want to learn how to give a blow job then you have to read Jack's Blowjob Lessons ----> link

    10. Smile again, believe me he'll love you for it.

    Good luck


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What Guys Said 5

  • I'd say its mostly in the attitude, that your in charge of what's about to happen and that he just has to follow and be submissive. Your controling everything(time,what he does, when he does it, how he does it, what he's wearing, whatever). Push him on the bed, if he does something you don't want to happen yet you'll tick him on the hand and say no, bossing him around and telling him what you want him to do, etc etc

    here's 2 things I've tried myself that I found best used for this type of sex.

    -Roleplaying(my favorite!), I doubt I have to explain that your in the power position if you want to be dominant.

    -Bondage/BDSM(if your both open to it) - if you wish(and that's how I experianced it personally) you can add roleplay elements and make it even hotter.

  • Its so much fun when the girl takes over from time to time!

    What works great for me is when she tells me I'm no longer in control and she ties my hands up with a scarf or something but she also blinde folds me and tells me to only concentrate on feeling.

    She then puts ice cubes in her mouth or something hot and makes me wonder what's next.

    Very very erotic and sometimes she puts on sexy music and candles.

    Props to you for playing along and being openminded, that's sexy girl!

  • Yes, handcuffs are intersting, unless you lose the keys...

    However, I find a girl rolling on top of me while I'm lying back in bed as a form of dominance and control, as she is about to ride me and dictate her pleasure and mine. Yet it's one of the most beautiful sexual positions for me as I get to see her breasts bouncing up and down, and enjoy the pleasure of her compression on top of me...

    That's about all I can say right now, I have to go to the bathroom and...take a shower :)

  • This link might be helpful


  • Dress up maybe a police woman or something like that etc


What Girls Said 2


    Everything you need to know is there.

    • I wouldn't say everything(i'm familiar with the site =)) but there's a lot of good information here, can definately recommend it.

  • take charge and be rough. maybe push him on the bed and hang cuff him and climb on top