Can you convince someone NOT to have sex? I think I might have done a pretty good job of it?

[Lucky1227]

So me and my best friend are the same age (19) actually no I lied she is 20 anyways she is a virgin (if you know my previously question you know I am too) anyways we go to 2 different schools and she is starting to talk to this guy who she "really likes" anyways I saw him (i'm not impressed) but I'm happy for her because she deserves a decent guy. Anyways she is not OFFICIALLY dating him, she doesn't even know where she stands with him yet she almost lost her virginity to him, of course I'm her best friend she tells me and I am like "wtf he is not even dating you" and she is like "oh I don't care any more its whatever" I pretty much convinced her that she shouldn't do it with him because he is not dating her and he is just going to use her and if she does it she'll be a disgusting whore lol. Do I necessarily BELIEVE all that I am telling her? no.. but I just don't want her to have sex with him because if she does I can't be her friend anymore and I will have wasted about 10+ years on her. (obviously I will not just STOP talking to her if she does it) but I won't be as close to her and I won't talk to her as much and I will eventually not talk to her at all. So I want to know if there are better ways to convince her not to do it? I tried guilt tripping her and I feel like she might actually listen to me because she said "you're making me feel like a whore" and I was like "good you should" and I feel like she might not do it just because of how I feel about it which is awesome lol but I need to like be sure she won't. I kind of hope this thing will just fall through before she gets to that point. I don't like this guy anyways he seems odd..

[Rosula]

I tried to convince my bestie to not have sex with this guy until she was officially dating him for long enough AND because he's 22 and she's 15, plus he's her mum's boyfriend's son. FAIL. D:! Plus she knows this guy, Bronson, is interested in another chick who's coming over seas next month. She's a slut - she replies to his Facebook statuses that say, "I don't know what to do." with icky things like, "Get me a ticket from Australia to New Zealand and I'll give you something to DO. ;)" WTF. O_o

Quoted, I said to her, "You only lose your virginity once and you want to make sure you know the person so well (not just sexually :P) that you just KNOW they are worth losing your virginity to and that you are certain you won't have regrets. You need to know that you can entrust Bronson with your body and feelings and know he feels that same with you. That trust is an amazing feeling and when you first have sex with Bronson that is how you should feel towards him. Dismiss how much you want to do it and just think good and hard as to whether you really do feel that way. Don't let your horniness manipulate your answer either! :P And don't think I'm undermining or hating on Bronson. I don't know him, but I DO respect him for his self control. Rejecting sex because he doesn't want to do it too soon can be very hard for a guy, and it's very mature of him! You should respect his decision too, and really consider what he's saying. Don't try to encourage, guilt-trip or force him into going against his mature decision! Sex is mutual and shouldn't be forced upon by either partner."

She didn't listen to me, even though she replied saying she'd thought about what I said and would hold off. Two days after I gave the advice, which was last night at midnight, I got this text from her saying, "Um... I think I just had sex?" I was quite angry that she hadn't taken my advice. It's her choice and she told me she knew it was a stupid decision. Sigh... Why ask for my advice if she just goes against it? XD

I guess the possibility of convincing them not to depends on their personality (and how horny they are). XD

[Lucky1227]

OMG my friend said the EXACT same thing over the phone to me... which is why I can't be her friend.

[Rosula]

I'm still going to be her friend because we have been besties for years and she's very close to me, plus my other besties are close to her too. Peeved me off that she told me she would wait and then poof! Outta nowhere she says she did it! D:

[Lucky1227]

Well I have known my friend for a while too but... I can't look at her the same and I can't be friends with someone I can't relate to... there is a follow up question of mine about this if you wanna read that lol

[Rosula]

I know I wasn't different after sex, but I can see where you're coming from. If you don't feel you can relate to her because her beliefs are different than yours, that's understandable. Maybe not necessary to discontinue a friendship. With a little sharing of how you feel because of what she's done, maybe that'd help? But that's just me. XD

[toulouse]

"Like I said I don't believe anything I said to her I just don't think she should have sex before me... she doesn't deserve to... simple as that I deserve to have sex immediately and she doesn't because... she just doesn't...

Update: There are reasons but if I tell them it will make me look like a BIGGER bitch which I don't feel like dealing with that right now. lol She just should not do it."

I think if you look at tis part for long enough, you should begin to see what a moron you are being, if not then it really doesn't matter anyways, you're just messed up, BUT how can that make sense to you? HOW?

I just don't like the fact you are content with absolutely no obligation to make a real argument, its just absurd, lol this is bothering me, I don't usually care when people are stupid but you are disturbing me, WHY DO YOU CARE if she has sex before you & why do you have this sense of entitlement?

[Lucky1227]

I am entitled to it because I am... it may not make sense to you but it is just how it is and how it should be and IF she does it she will not be my friend anymore... and since she doesn't have THAT many friends to begin with she should try to keep me. Anyways I hope that things with this guy and he don't even work out at all.

[Lucky1227]

and the thing is... if she does it with him and he breaks her heart... who has to hear about it? Me, and guess who DOESN'T want to hear about it? Me. I refuse to have to be that person who sits there and listens to all her problems.. its not my fault she's an idiot

[toulouse]

No it is your fault YOU are an idiot tho, I'm curious what your definition of friendship is, What you think makes a person deserving of something any monkey can do, & Why you think it is not an important part of a persons development to make mistakes & to have a FRIEND who will be there to listen once they realize what happened., if you don't f*** up you don't learn, any two year old knows that, She can be traumatized by you threatening her, or she can learn by trial & error -choose life

[Lucky1227]

Well if she f***s up she will be dealing with it ALONE. simple as that. I don't make mistakes so...

[toulouse]

If you truly believe you don't make mistakes then you are mentally imbalanced, everyone makes mistakes, its part f life& I think you are right, if you can not have compassion for her you should not be friends with her,

[Lucky1227]

Ok I know I make mistakes... but not like HUGE ONES I just feel like when I got close to having sex with this guy like 2 years ago (awesome guy who I wasn't dating but he was older) she convinced me not to and I didn't.. and it was probably a ploy so she could do it before me which is rude.. even though she claims to like this guy.. I should get to do it before her because I want sex more.

[toulouse]

Why is it rude, why do you guys care who has sex first, how does it affect the quality of your life, id say next time listen to your heart not your friend.. I'm not entirely sure you guys haver each others best interest at heart,

[Lucky1227]

Well I mean I didn't necessarily like the guy I was going to have sex with... he was hot and he wanted to and I just wanted to lose my virginity. She advised me again doing it, and I thought about it and decided not to. but the point is I want it more and I should get it. It is honestly a travesty to think I would not get it

[toulouse]

If its a travesty to think you won't get it - then stop thinking about it, Why don't you just let her fuk who ever she wants, you fuk whoever you want, and get on with your life, ate you sure this is realm this just sounds to rediculous to not be a troll, are you a troll?

[Lucky1227]

I'm not a troll. and you honestly are not UNDERSTANDING I need to have sex before her because it is only fair.

[toulouse]

You seriously are NOT understanding that makes no sense - because it has no meaning to it. HOW is it fair? I know I know - 'Because' .. Really? Ok.

[Lucky1227]

Sex does have meaning... and that in itself is why you and I will never come close to agreeing because you obviously are dirty and have no morals

[toulouse]

I put a lot of other things above sex but that does not mean it is not sacred to me, I am not having sex until I am in love& it won't be without mutual respect I font even touch a guy or let him touch me without that- all I've done is kiss& that was one guy. I was not saying SEX has no meaning, I was saying your argument as base less, I also think respecting people in general s important I think maybe you don't care about that- that's important,Morally speaking,

[Lucky1227]

Well you were half right... I don't care about respecting YOU because you are no one to me so...

[toulouse]

niiice :)

[Lucky1227]

I know :)

[toulouse]

:-) :-) :-)

[Lucky1227]

Just stop. Unless you have something important to say.

[toulouse]

Everything I have to say is important , because I care. I suppose you could stop since well, ya know..

[Lucky1227]

Care about what? Who? Because you obviously don't care about this situation.. you're giving horrible advice about it

[toulouse]

You're giving self centered self serving narcissistic prepubescent one dimensional unethical arguments. If you gave me something to work with I could/ would be glad to help, :)

[Lucky1227]

I told you my point... I should have sex first not her. the end.

[toulouse]

& I told you mine, You should have a reason for an outlook- first - the end,

[Lucky1227]

... I have tons of reason. I just will not post them on here for everyone to see

[toulouse]

Ok, I respect your choice :)

[Beckat]

I don't really get why if she has sex with this guy you won't be friends anymore. And just because you can't/have chosen not to get laid, doesn't mean you should stop someone who wants to. And doing it by using guilt is super messed up, like crazy messed up. I suggest you mind your own business, and if she asks you again, just say she needs to do what's right for her. And if she does have sex and you start to feel inadequate or jealous, go get laid yourself. It really isn't rocket science, and you don't need to wait for "the one" or be in love. Good, nay, great sex can be had with someone you don't love. Just be safe.

I also can't believe you feel like making your friend feel like a whore is a good thing, it's not. No one that cares for someone should want to make them feel like a whore, regardless of the reason. Unless it's in jest, which this (apparently) wasn't.

[Lucky1227]

I am being a good friend to her because she is being an idiot. If she has sex with this guy I can't be friends with her the end.

[toulouse]

Ok just don't go into law,

[Beckat]

I read your updates and some other responses and I think you're really missing the point. No one is more deserving than anyone else when it comes to having sex, regardless of how much they want it. Also, trying to pull some story about how you think her advising you against having sex with a hot guy, they are didn't like, 2 years ago as a reason you should try to stop her form having sex with some guy she likes now, is ridicules. I would say she actually had your best interest at heart, not

[Beckat]

wanting to have sex before you. If you want to have sex so bad, just go do it. Really, find a guy, make sure he wears a condom, and get laid. It's not that hard. Drop your standards a bit and get boned. See, if you really wanted to get some, you wouldn't be so picky. So stop finding excuses not to get laid, and interfering with your friends life, and get some. And stop operating under the delusion that you did this girl a favor and that you're really her friend.

[Lucky1227]

If she has sex with him believe I will not be her friend.. and she didn't do it for my best interest she did it because she's a bitch. (I love her but she is STILL a bitch) and lower my standards? Eww why would I have sex with a disgusting person when I can do better.. so that's not gonna happen NEXT...

[Beckat]

You're still complaining about how much you want, no, deserve to have sex, so apparently you can't. And I never said get laid my someone that's disgusting, I said stop being overly picky. You're probably the type of girl that only wants to have sex with a really good looking guy. That's BS. Put looks aside and try to find a guy that gets off on getting you off. They're way better at sex then guys who only want to get themselves off.

[Lucky1227]

I don't care about who will be getting off. I want sex with a hot guy because... f***ing an ugly guy would just be unacceptable

[TimeAndTimeAgain]

"Do I necessarily BELIEVE all that I am telling her? no.. but I just don't want her to have sex with him because if she does I can't be her friend anymore and I will have wasted about 10+ years on her."

This right here shows everyone that you want everyone to be a certain way, or you won't accept them. I fail to see how you can consider this girl to be your friend. Sex isn't a horrible thing, and maybe if you had it you would stop thinking in such a childish manner. Wait, it's not even childish - just plain retarded.

I'm a virgin, but at least I'm smart enough to realize that having sex doesn't mean the world is gonna end or that my life is going to change radically, and that I won't be the same person anymore.

You, my dear retard, are obviously under the impression that, BECAUSE YOU ARE A VIRGIN, you are above and beyond everyone who has had sex, and that they are not worthy enough to be your friend. That is what you are saying.

I honestly don't know how you intend to be taken seriously by ANYONE if you keep thinking like this. Yes, convincing your friend to not sleep with a guy who isn't even dating her is alright. But attempting to convince her that sex is horrible, that she should never do it and wait until marriage, is not. Just because you think something is right, doesn't mean it is. Respect other people for who they are, and the decisions they make. Stop judging others just because they went and did something so trivial as sleep with someone. It's sex - it happens. It's part of who we are. There is nothing MAGICAL about it.

And if you really were this girl's friend, you would still be her friend regardless of who she slept with. Unless she went around sleeping with literally 1 guy every week, but I really doubt it'll get to that. What we're talking here is just her sleeping with 1 guy she likes.

[Lucky1227]

Well I actually don't hate her for having sex, she just shouldn't have sex before me because it is rude and I want it more and I deserve to have it before her and I mean don't get me wrong if I just go out to a club I can easily have sex with a random guy but I choose not to.

[toulouse]

Are you learning disabled why do you even think of yourself having sex in relation to her & when she's having it- maybe yo are a frustrated lesbian.. Sex is not a privledge its a right- nothing about deserving or not deserving & you already know you're being a flake which is why you won't give more info- you don't have to you, -Your explanation makes it so much worse, What do you men she shouldn't because she just .. shouldnt. Big deal if you can't be friends with her- shell be better off. Troll

[Lucky1227]

I am FOR SURE not a lesbian lol the thing is, I want it more... so I should get it first. basically. And I am more deserving of it than her for numerous reasons that I will not discuss with you. and its not like she is even doing it for a good reason... I mean she isn't dating this guy he doesn't want anything from her (I don't think) and so... why bother.

[toulouse]

You won't discuss your reasons which makes you sound irrational, not sure where you ad planned to go with this,

[Lucky1227]

I won't say because it will sound pretty bad

[toulouse]

And that makes sense to you? Do you think maybe it sounds bad because there is no reason to be worrying about t in the first place? Really this is very odd I did not realize girls had virginity competitions- its peculiar to be sure, What exactly hapens if she has sex firls, I mean tside of your 'reasons' you can't share- whatwil it do to your quality of life? & You surely must realize that however you feel, to valid as a feeling- gives you no right to be the standard for HER sex life- no?

[Lucky1227]

I just think as a GOOD friend she should consider my feelings. I mean it will ruin my quality of life if she does it before me... I will probably die actually. lol jk. But still it will just not be ok

[toulouse]

WHY / HOW would it damage the quality of your life?

[Lucky1227]

Why... because I want to have sex and should have sex before her and how... I will die.

[toulouse]

Ok, I think if you were really concerned for your well fare you'd seek help,

[Lucky1227]

omg stfu you seriously are unreal...

[l-hedoniste]

If guilt-tripping, pressure, and running someone down is a bad way to convince someone to have sex, then it's probably a bad way to convince someone not to have sex.

And your best friend, too. Yikes. I feel sorry for her.

[Lucky1227]

Don't feel sorry for her I am doing it for her best interest lol

[toulouse]

You said you are doing it because she doesn't deserve to have sex before you- how is that in her best interest? (I'm seriously amazed by the fact that that is completely irrational, doesn't bother you. Reason & argument are best friends you could have, seriously,)

[Lucky1227]

I mean I was trying to rationalize it but to put it simply she just doesn't deserve to have sex before me

[toulouse]

WHY?

[Lucky1227]

BECAUSE!

[toulouse]

Ok. See THATS what I mean by 6 years old,

[Lucky1227]

I don't care much what you think

[toulouse]

I think you do that's why yo are asking all of us for advice,

[elliesaur]

Question Asker2 days agoDon't feel sorry for her I am doing it for her best interest lol Question Asker8 [..] but to put it simply she just doesn't deserve to have sex before me You are such a two-faced b**** that any other word about this is just pointless.At least admit it.

[Lucky1227]

haha I am not 2 faced at all... everything I said on here I told her out right

[elliesaur]

Newsflash: the world doesn't revolve around you and your opinions.Trying to manipulate her shows you have no idea what the words 'best friend' are about.Just because she thinks different from you doesn't mean she's wrong,and you have no right to tell her what she should do with her own life.I feel sorry for her,honestly.

I hope she's smarter than to listen to what you say.

[Lucky1227]

Well then she can just be a friendless f***... because I have more friends.

[toulouse]

lol are you 6? You sound like my 'friend' from childhood- she was such a bitch & her argument for everything was my daddys going to poke your eyes out if you don't do it my way & she had to have everything first, -because she said so -thats why Seriously you realize you sound like you want the newest model barbie doll before she gets hers ,or you won't be her friend, & you'll turn all your other bubble gum friends against her- you're degrading yourself& you don't even realize it. Grow up.

[Lucky1227]

How am I degrading myself?

[toulouse]

I guess your ability to comprehend exactly in what way you are degrading yourself, depends largely on what exactly what attributes you think are valuable & are valued by others in a human being :)

[Lucky1227]

sex is valuable to me... as in I want to have a lot of it soon

[toulouse]

I was not referring to your sexual activity or soon to be- the statement was not about sex at all,

[Lucky1227]

Well that's what's important to me

[toulouse]

Which is precisely why what I said makes so much sense, What else about you is important to you? & Why place such high importance on something any monkey can do? Seriously id like to know why it has become so important to you?

[Lucky1227]

I honestly don't want to answer any of your questions anymore because you just don't get it... like you honestly don't and I can't explain it to you, because I am trying yet you are not comprehending.. please STOP commenting on all my questions and answers.

[toulouse]

You're not giving a reason, its obnoxious,I'm commenting on what I see- that's what this site is for,

[Lucky1227]

I gave you as much of an answer as I will give you.

[Confused614]

This might be the dumbest question I have ever read.

[Lucky1227]

Well she did it with him anyways so it doesn't matter

[Gregs]

Do you even realize what a messed up person you are?

[pandaninja]

she is a bitch trying to convince her otherwise is futile

[Gregs]

Im not trying to convince anyone, just examining a mind ready for the insane asylum

[Lucky1227]

hahahaha no I am honestly not. I am looking out for her best interest because I am a good friend. She is honestly being an idiot right now.

[Gregs]

yeah...

[Anonymous]

You're such a troll.

[Anonymous]

Can you possibly be more selfish and stupid? I'm betting not.

[Anonymous]

She still might do it and lie to you about it...