If I grew up in a culture where most marriages were arranged marriages, people got married in their teens, and women were seen as property then abstaining until marriage is perfectly logical. Thankfully I grew up in Florida and here many people marry someone who they have fallen in love with, they marry them after they have become adults and have some maturity, and they don't view women as property but as a partner.
I believe that the promise to marry for lifetime is sacred and therefore would prefer to engage in sex prior to walking down the aisle in case we are not compatible. I would prefer to be in love and have built an intimate relationship on top of deep trust and communication fostered while in a committed relationship. What I want to avoid is marrying someone who I would one day divorce and if the reason was primarily sexual I want to explore that before the wedding day.
Again I believe culturally abstaining until marriage is very logical when that marriage is 2 children who have been selected by their parents. But in the culture I am proud to be a part of today I want to pick my wife, fall in love with her, and proclaim in front of God, all our friends, and family on our wedding day that I will love her and no other for the rest of my life. Then I expect a great honeymoon with lots of making love and a healthy love life for many years to come.. knowing that will mean working together and keeping the trust and communication in the forefront.
I can understand that viewpoint. For me, losing my virginity is as sacred as marriage is for you. The idea of my first time is like the pinnacle of physical and emotional vulnerability. I don’t want something so important to me amount to nothing more than a mistake, or a way to kill time for the other person. I honestly don’t trust someone to say that it means something to them and mean it. I’ve seen people say just about anything in attempt to get laid.
I also see and respect your viewpoint. I was 19 when I had sex for the first time and was raised in a conservative Christian household. I also wanted to be a virgin until marriage. Over the years my views have shifted and yours will evolve over time. But there are lots of reasons to keep yourself pure and keep your virginity until marriage, bravo.
D. If we can otherwise walk the bases including mutual oral and 69, I will wait. Sexual intimacy is critical for a young relationship but I am willing to reserve that last step. What do you think?
I’m a virgin. When I think of sex (or at least, my first time), I consider it to be the pinnacle of physical and emotional vulnerability. No matter what the popular opinion may be, it’s practically sacred to me. I don’t want something so precious to me to amount to an adolescent mistake or a way to kill time for the other person- things that I have heard of and been asked to do multiple times throughout my adolescence. This is a decision I made for myself. It doesn’t reflect what I think everyone should do, nor do I think any less of people who make a different decision than I.
Would you consent to my approach?
I wouldn’t want to do it personally. I don’t want anything or anyone in me until marriage.
I would never marry someone without having sex or living together first. I first have to know I'm sexually compatible with that person and that we can stand each other on a daily routine.
I don't want to marry just to end divorcing in a year. Or worst, I don't want to be all my life sexually unsatisfied or living with someone I can't stand.
i love your answer you have logic and common sense
If compatibility is there, than both will feel the same. If you are non-compatible, it is far better to know that early in the relationship and just move on. Make sense? :)
Yep! Thanks!
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!For the last 6,000 years, sex after marriage is 'normal" and promiscuouity makes the person "slutty".
It was only the last 50+ years that promiscuous lifestyle is regarded as "normal" and natural.
So if you're looking at a marriage most mankind had since the beginning, abstinance is acceptable and desired.
But if you seeks fun, and ready to accept the consequence of sex including broken hearted and possible pregnancy, then you move along with the crowd today.
I'm fine with it, personally I didn't have the willpower.
I wouldn't ever agree to that. I don't agree with the practice at all.
Only one in 20 does it
Would you date someone who chose to abstain?
Nope
Unacceptable. I don't want to marry someone before know whether or not we're even sexually compatible. Sex is an essential and important part of any relationship, and something I really like, too. I'm not going to marry anyone without dating them for at least a year or two first, and I'm never going to stay in a relationship for that long with someone who didn't want to fuck.
I'm disappointed that 37% say it's very important... If sex is more important than the person you're dating then you shouldn't date them.
How are you supposed to know if you are sexually compatible if you have never done it. Seems like one hell of a risk to me.
That’s fair, but so are a lot of factors that go into the act of having sex.
I'd be fine if it ain't more than 2 years till marriage.
Im fine with it.
Doing it myself.
life is too short to abstain from sex just because a girl wants to wait for marriage and for us guys its even harder to wait for sex since we have higher testosterone not to mention not everybody wants to get married since marriage mostly benefits women not men
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