The girl I'm dating told me she has herpes, should I keep dating her?

[Anonymous]

So I've been talking to this awesome girl she's cute and super nice We have gotten like super close and she has told me about life sexual history and all that, same for me. She just kept saying that I wouldn't want her and that she was really depressed. I kept on asking what was wrong? I mean she has literally told me her entire life in detail including sexual experiences and what not.

She told me she has genital herpes cause she was dating a guy who was abusive and Well he pretty much forced her to have sex with him when he had an outbreak or whatever. Well Personally I dont have genital herpes but I have it in the mouth I got it when my uncle sadly raped me when I was 5 years old until I was 7 and last time I started crying that I didn't want him to do it and he just said"put it in the mouth if you dont want it in the ass" pretty much now morbid stories asides.

I have never given any of my sexual partners my herpes which is type 1 and she has type two so this is complex. If I could go 30 years of life without giving it to anyone I think I can go without contracting hers. But one STD is hard enough to deal with two can't make it any easier.

[AlienParasite]

Wow, this is so complex. I had to look up for herpes to have a better understand. I thought herpes has a cure but it doesn't.

Researching I saw it recommends to use condom to avoid infections, but that condom doesn't cover every part and therefore it's not 100% effective. However it says that might help to use some special medicines to keep herpes in control so that way the one with herpes don't pass the disease to their partner. Also says to be always aware of outbreaks, and try to avoid sex if there's an outbreak.

I think that if you are both very careful, it's possible to be together without getting the other herpes. However, doesn't seems easy to always be that aware of avoiding mistakes, and always feeling there's risk of contagious.

You should really reflect and take of consideration if it's worth for you to have this kind of relationship or take this risk of getting two herpes. It's just to ask yourself how much do you like her. If you like her enaugh to get the risk or if you are more worried about your health.

[Asker]

Yeah I know it's been wrecking my brain but you know it's not fair to reject someone for something that it's not her fault

[AlienParasite]

I felt that way when I started reading, like it's not her fault. But I think in your case it's understandable you are afraid, you already have an herpes and can get other type. Isn't she worried about getting herpes 1 same you are about getting herpes 2? If you haven't talk about it maybe it would help for both to talk and see how do you feel about it. I think that if you really like her you should keep dating. However if you are too afraid of getting herpes and you can't help it, you can't force yourself to be with her even if it's not her fault. It's hard but you have to measure how much you like her and how afraid you are. As I said before, maybe talking about your worries with her might help.

[Asker]

I mean I really like her and like I said I've never given anyone herpes but online I keep finding mixed things about type 2. Mine as long as I dont have an outbreak is fine But about type two some sources say You can't spread it between outbreaks and some say you can so its very mixed and since she feels she should never date anyone again because she is "damaged goods" as she calls it she obviously doesn't have experience to say "hey I've had sex with such and such and they dont have it" She seems completely fine with mine and honestly I dont find it digusting I want to have sex with her and stuff cause I feel she is really sexy and all but its best to know everything to minimize risks

[AlienParasite]

Seems that you really want to be with her. That's nice. Then it would be good to ask directly someone who knows more about herpes rather than reading on the Internet and getting confused. Maybe she (or both) should go to see a doctor before doing anything risky, so they can tell you how to be cautious and minimize risk.

[Johnnie1000]

It may not be intentional but she did do something.

[Asker]

@Johnnie1000 dude everyone has sex and it only takes one person hell I have double the sex partners this girl's had.

[Asker]

I do to be honest. I don't mean to be a dick but most women now a day's aren't worth being in a relationship with, trust me I've been around a lot. And when you find a girl that you know is very sweet and genuine to the point of litterally telling you something that can make you run for the hills just out of worry of your health that's rare you know

[Johnnie1000]

I don't know if fault is the right but you both had sex and your choice of partners gave it to you. I have been lucky. It's not punishment but you have to be smart about this. You have got to protect yourself as well. Are you going to have sex after her and will it prevent you from having other partners even more than now?

[Asker]

@Johnnie1000 I'm gonna be real honest with you I have never in my life used a condom and fucking girls I didn't even know their names I'm luckily clean cept for my oral herpes so Technically its just a shitty person that decided to abuse her and be irresponsible with his STD because I know if I had an STD I would makie it my priority to protect my sexual partner but clearly this dude was an asshole

[Johnnie1000]

Regardless of his asshole status she got it and she got it bad. She got something she never planned on. Its not very fair. Knowing what she has she probably would want to pass it on. But if you do oral sex is probably out and a rubber is mandatory for anything else. You are probably safe if she doesn't h ave a outbreak and you learn some good manipulating and fingering activities for her. But you got to protect yourself and any future partners and even a future spouse you may want children with. I don't envy you.

[Asker]

@Johnnie1000 I know its not an eviable possition

[Anonymous]

Herpes hsv1 most people in USA have it so I wouldn't care, genital Herpes hsv2 well she will no when she has a outbreak and will tell you but you can still get it if she has no symptoms. If I had it and a guy would not fuck me because of it I would high five him

[Asker]

Yeah most people have type one but as soon as most girls see a outbreak with fluid filled bubbles and sores that scab they have rejected me and spreadijg it around and that sucks

[Opinion Owner]

Well I guess since you have hsv1 like I probably do you probably have some form of natural antibody that will lower or chances of getting hsv2, if you both communicate and don't go near her if/when she has a outbreak 90% chance you will be sweet. Two pees in a pod you both are

[Asker]

I guess I'll just ask a doctor to be safe but we haven't had sex she is really scared we just have Videochat sex lol

[Opinion Owner]

You should be fine, worst case take antibiotics and no kids

[Asker]

okay

[MORPHEUS_12]

As long as you both are on something like Valtrex and use condoms and dental dams I don't see an issue. Its not like you are going to die from it.

[Asker]

Yeah dental dams and condoms make sex really bad tho lol

[Johnnie1000]

Herpes is never going away and even with active sores you can still pass it on orally, vaginally and anally. You may never have a outbreak or none for years but still pass it on. The chance of getting it by skin to skin contact is usually about once a year. So even with no signs you can catch it or give it. I don't want to get it. Women can also pass some viruses licke herpes on to their children. I think the real question is whether or not this is gonna be a life long relationship. You may take more risk with that partner compared to a one night stand.

[Asker]

Yeah I know bro but you know how hard finding a good girl is now a day's with feminist and such

[Johnnie1000]

I know, I know. You might have to look in different places including referrals given by a old Aunt Sally.

[Anonymous]

Wow sorry to hear of the extreme abuse you suffered as a child. I'm surprised you didn't come back later and kill that guy. Terrible stuff.

I did date a woman who had herpes several years ago. We just used condoms and I was fine with it. I really liked her, but she reconciled with her ex boyfriend while we were dating and I was heartbroken. The herpes thing I was cool with actually. She was under a doctor's care for it and on medication. I of course did not contract it from her.