If you were raped can you still call yourself a virgin?

[Anonymous]

I was assaulted when I was a little girl and I never told anyone about it. I blocked it out for a long time but in the last few months I am just remembering it. I also never had sex with anyone (by choice).would it be a lie if I said I was a virgin? Technically I'm not but I didn't ask for this and I don't want him getting the wrong idea like I've had experience with a past boyfriend before when I haven't. But on the other hand I wouldn't want him to feel like I am being dishonest by making him think I'm pure when I'm not. Also how will men react to know that happened to their girlfriend? Is that even something you talk about? I don't want anyone to look at me different so that's why I never said anything.

[hardblond1]

First off, It was terrible what happen to you and there is NO excuse or way to take it back.

But it has happen and you seem to be strong enough now to talk about it.

SO you have worries for the right reasons.

But no one can give you virginity back. If it so important to you and means more to know you should be going to a therapist or counselor and seek help for it.

As far as telling your partner? you should first get to know him and if he really respects your feelings and is trustworthy first of your heart before revealing your situation and past.

I hope you can find it to forgive than to regrette as that will never help you get past your true feelings about this tragic event in your life.

[dave216]

I would not call you a virgin, but you are free to call yourself anything you like. The question does come to mind, to whom will you be speaking when you refer to yourself as a virgin? Most females do not go about discussing their p**** with random strangers, but if in your own head, you want to think of yourself as a virgin, why not?

[LackusDeltacus]

You're not a virgin, so it would be a lie to tell him you are one, but if you're worried about how he will react to that, just explain your situation to him and I'm sure he'll understand. If he doesn't you're wasting your time on him anyway.

I understand why you wouldn't want people to look at you differently, but as your (I'm assuming) boyfriend, all he should feel is some sympathy that you went through something as traumatic as that. All you need to do is explain how you feel, etc, and everything should be fine.

[poulette12]

You're a virgin at heart, that's what counts. Also, maybe you won't bleed during your first time but it happens to many girls. Some sports like horseback riding and gymnastics can break your "cherry". They're still virgin.

I'm so sorry for what happened to you. You didn't want to be raped and you ARE pure. Don't ever doubt it.

[genevieve]

It's true technically you're not and it's also true that it wasn't your decision. I'd suggest you just sit down with him and talk about it. I don't know, how he'll react but it's important that he knows

[chrsschb]

Yes. My wife was raped when she was younger and we were each others' first. I completely respect her and her situation and never treated her any differently because of it. We are happily married and plan to stay that way!

[enigmatta]

Who the hell would downvote this? Crazy woman.

[katiesmuff]

In my opinion you are still a virgin.

[snackeyg]

Of course you can.

[emptyglasses]

I think the best thing to do in any situation is tell them that you were raped. That way he won't get the wrong idea about anything. It's not your fault, you didn't have a choice so you can still call yourself a virgin if you choose not to tell him what happened. If he eventually finds out about it I'm sure he won't be mad you didn't tell him about it, it's a hard thing to talk about.

[Anonymous]

I'\m so sorry for what happened to you as a little girl. And I am very happy you are strong enough to talk about it now. You can call yourself whatever you want (a virgin or a non virgin) but my opinion is that you are still a virgin because the person that raped you as a child basically "stole your virginity by force".

[Anonymous]

Of course if anybody asks say you're a virgin... It's nobody's business what happened. Although technically you're 'not' a virgin, but for all purposes you might as well be a virgin when you have your actual first time. If your boyfriend asks about the absence of the cherry, you could tell him. One of my ex gfs was raped when she was really drunk by a "friend" she was with. When I heard this I just went into a rage, it was not against her, but against the feeling that there was nothing I could do about it now. In my opinion rape is the worst thing that can happen to a girl...

It's not everybody's business that this happened to you and people who don't know you really well shouldn't know about what happened to you. The only people who should know are the people you trust really well.. oh, and I'm sorry =/