My boyfriend's ex has bigger boobs

[Anonymous]

I know most guys say boob size is irrelevant, but my boyfriend is a boob guy and his ex was busty. Yeah, yeah, so he's with me now, doesn't mean he enjoys my boobs better than hers... they actually broke up 'cause she was a slut who cheated on him with like 2 other guys. I feel really childish for caring, but I can only imagine this is what men feel when their girlfriend has been with a larger guy. I know size doesn't really affect sex (so I've heard from my friends), but it's more like an ego thing. I tried explaining this to my boyfriend, giving him this example, but of course he doesn't get it since I was a virgin before being with him, so he doesn't know what it feels that his girl has been with a larger guy, 'cause I haven't. It's an ego thing. Women are judged for the size of their boobs. The bigger, the more sexually appealing or so it seems. The smaller, the more childish you look. I feel so inadequate. I didn't know who his ex was until today, and I can't stop thinking about this. To think that he touched, enjoyed and licked bigger breasts than mine just makes me want to curl up and never leave the house again... yes it's that bad... I've always felt self conscious about it because I was teased in high school and also because the media and p*rn push the "bigger boobs are better" thing so much... I also know he's a boob guy... I know he loves me for me, but this is a hard pill to swallow nonetheless... Today as I explained this to him, all he kept saying was "I love you, and your breasts are fine". Fine. Just that. Not great, or really sexy or anything. Just. Fine. I don't know what to do. Any advice? I never want him to see me naked again!

[Anonymous]

I am a psychology student and I feel the exact same way you do. I understand the insecurities you are going through, and how being aware by the fact that your guy gives you assurance that it doesn’t matter to him whether you have big or small boobs (or maybe he was sincere in what he said to you but just doesn’t know how to word it well to know what the impact of saying that your breasts are “fine” is to you.) is different than the feeling of still not being able to overcome accepting yourself. As for myself, I have fairly big boobs, and in an honest conversation with my man I asked him whose boobs are bigger, his ex or mine’s. He said that we were kinda the same. Before that being said, I was never conscious about my breasts, I was never looking at other girls’ chests to see if they have bigger boobs than me or not, wherein that answer of his awoken the egoistic side of me. To be honest, I was confident in my body before that conversation, and now, I’m insecure to the point that I always stalk his ex to know more about her body figure so I could compare the two of us. The thing is, I’ve opened up to my man about this insecurity of mine that bothers me EVERY SINGLE DAY. Afterwards he explained to me that her breasts might be big, but it doesn’t look attractive to him at all. It might have fed my ego but I still think about the fact that she has big breasts, ignoring what he said about it not being attractive to him. The point is, I want you to understand that you are not alone in this kind of situation, because despite me being a psychology student (the irony), I am still not able to fully embrace my body and that my man loves me for who I am, and that his ex is an ex and will forever be an ex. Loving yourself includes assurance from nobody else but yourself. Praying for the both of us and anybody else who feels physically insecure.

[AthleticMom]

In confessions from guys & lovers, some admit that they more easily get hard, even more often and certainly get in the mood faster as per size, shape, aesthetics of breasts being offered up to them. Not All guys are into that, in fact most GAG polls will show guys these days prefer butts?

That said, the same breast guys have chosen smaller breasted gals for many other reasons more important to them! These reasons gets them just as horny as breasts alone and you already mentioned one important once - fidelity. Others include,:
> sexy, seductive walk, talk, flirting, almost-breast-exposure, et al.
> what has been called a cock-hound or behind closed doors, penis worship in also slavish ways
> common interests, IQ, go-with doings/activities, best friend, soul mate

Of course there are breasts more seductive attractive, aesthetic than larger ones that fail those categories!

[nevergivinguponu]

I'm sorry you care about this so much. I bet you have a lot of qualities and remember she is the EX for a reason. Work into conversation every so often ( I learned to do that here) girls with big boobs are an easy lay and not the commitement type.(Please don't flame me we all know that was a recent post on here) Brainwash him..lol Say I heard that more than a mouthful or handful is wasted.The more you draw attention to your breast size the more he is going to focus on it too. STOP! It is destructive and yo will accomplish nothing. You'll break up because he's tired of hearing about it and indirectly about his ex. My boyfriend's ex waas 285 lbs hell even with 34 D's I couldn't compare with that.

[Asker]

I know he loves me and is with me for that reason... but like I said... the thought that he was with someone with better boobs... and that he enjoyed it... makes me wanna never show him my boobs again, makes me feel kind of embarrased... I know he's seen mine... but with this new information I'm just not in the mood for showing him. I knew another ex of his who was flat as a board... but not this girl.

[BoobMan]

I think a lot of the responses on this board are giving you good advice. Think about it this way: since every person is a jumble of MANY characteristics, there will ALWAYS be some narrow area, in which he's had an ex who is "better." Maybe one was smarter. Maybe another was nicer or more secure *cough* and therefore less emotional work. Maybe another had a few more dollars. And physically, there are too many body parts for you to have the best of EVERY one he's ever seen.

So ask yourself, "why do I care about this ONE part, but not others?" So he's a "boob guy." OK, I can relate to that (surprise!). BUT, what's more important to a boob guy? The size of his girl's breasts or her ability to not jump on someone else's c*ck while you're going out with her? The VAST majority of girls I've dated had average or even small breasts. Why do you think that is? Because there ARE LOTS of things that are more important EVEN TO A BOOB GUY!

If anything, boobs to a boob guy or a great ass to an ass guy won't make you crazy about someone. It'll just enable you to put up with a bit more of something that you may not otherwise. For instance, I also like thin girls. But if a girl has great breasts, I'll not care as much about some extra padding elsewhere.

Bottom line, EVERY girl I've ever gone out with has cleared the bar of being physically attractive enough for me. If she weren't, I'd have never tried to talk to her or get her to go on a date to begin with.

Worry about things that you CAN control. They tend to be more important anyway. For instance, I think a LOT more about the girl who gave me the best head than I do about the girl who had the best breasts.

[craig_lyon80]

your boyfriend has chosen to be with you and has ended the relatinship with his ex because she was a cheat. If he was not happy with you then he would not be with you. He may be a boob guy but that does not mean he would want a woman with bigger breasts for that reason alone. You should forget all about his ex and concentrate on your relationshop and making it strong and happy. There are probably a load of women who had even bigger boobs than his ex did and many who will have smaller boobs than you. If your boyfriend wants to be with you and cares about you then that is all that mattters. It is not worth comparing yourself to others as there is no point, everyone is different and you may have other qualities that his ex would never live up to. Just accept that you are the one he is with now and if he was really the type of guy who would judge you on breast size then you would be better off anyway if he did leave you as who needs a guy who only cares about that. I think you will find he does not even think about that anymore and wants to forget about his ex and you should do the same!

[WannaPleaseMaGirl]

Add me I'm going through exact same thing as you and I know how bad it feels. We can PM. Yea the wording of fine is so terrible and really doesn't help the situation. Boob guy doesn't mean he just wantsbigger. Maybe your shape is better or the niples are sexier. Biggest part of smaller boobs is just how much more sensation they have and how much less they sag. Yea big breast look great in bras and clothes but when naked it's a whole new ball game. Make sure he understands how important this is for you and how it's making you feel and if you want ask for an honest opinion. Our minds may think completely worse things about ourselves than our partner would. So if you get the answer from him at least you'll know worse case scenario isn't the one you have in your mind

[mikimouse]

Look gurl I have big boobs and my "boyfriend" loves them a lot. I mean other guys I have been with like my boobs a lot but you know what? I feel like its my boobs that they love and not me. I would KILL to have smaller boobs. But I have just learned to accept me for me and enjoy my life. The grass is definitely not greener on the other side and you should learn to love and accept what you have. Its a lot easier than getting upset over everything you think is wrong with you.

[l-hedoniste]

Write a script telling him exactly, word for word, what he needs to say to reassure you.

More urgently: get over your insecurity, right now. The media, p*rn, your teasing in high school--none of this is your boyfriend's fault, and it's both unfair and wildly irrational to make him responsible for making all that right.

If you want to fight the media, fight the media, don't make your man do it for you. If you want to fight p*rn, fight p*rn--that's not his fight, either. If you want to fight old high school battles, something's just wrong--we grownups are supposed to be getting over that. Still not your man's fight.

[Asker]

I never said it was his fight. I just feel insecure. It's not easy living with small breasts when you're constantly told bigger is sexier. Trust me, it's not as easy as it may seem. Busty women and men think it's a walk in the park, well it's not.

[l-hedoniste]

Take his position for a moment. I just told my girl "I love you, and your breasts are fine" and she's upset. I think, how did I get this wrong? Then imagine how I feel when I learn that she's really upset at p*rn, the media, her high school classmates, society, and making me pay for it. Here, the relationship reaches *very* dangerous ground. Learn this well: there is NOTHING he can do to fix your insecurity issues--that's all on you. All he can do is suffer until he dumps you.

[Asker]

Ohh, poor him, boo hoo... I DON'T talk about this with him. All I know is he loves big boobs (he's told me), and he was with a busty chick. I don't talk about the issue, and no he didn't say he love my breasts, he said they're "fine". And well if it's my battle what do I do? Just suck it up? I wish men would understand what it feels like having something like that constantly on display and always receiving the message that "bigger is better".

[l-hedoniste]

Perhaps you could get in the face of the "bigger and better" crowd, and vent some of that anger that way. It would save you the mistake of venting it toward people who--like your boyfriend and myself--are *on your side* on this issue. Not saying that's what you're doing, but I'm saying it's what you might do, if you're careless.

[Asker]

Ok... I'll be extra careful to leave him out of this and just let him enjoy my body and sex.

[l-hedoniste]

Good luck, and don't let the bastards get you down.

[Stickyvicky]

This is so true! Busty women and men just don't understand. I get annoyed when busty women say its hard with big boobs and they try and give positives to small. The bottom line is you feel insecure thanks to the media and I totally get it!

[IAmAnon123]

This should be serving as a testament to your qualities as a person, not making you sad.

He's a boob guy, and I assume he finds pleasure in pleasing you, correct? Someone posted a link yesterday to a study that was done about breast sensitivity. Small boobs (on average) are significantly more sensitive than big ones. Talk up this quality. If he enjoys pleasing you, he'll be happy to know that any efforts to stimulate your breasts will be significantly more pleasurable for you than it was for his last girlfriend.

[max69tx]

As a man we do recognize things like this like "oh my ex has bigger titties or ass" but at the end of the day we are with you and can kind of care less. like yeah its hot, bigger titties and ass but if the relationship before was toxic then it is not worth getting back with them based on their appereance.

[imabottle]

I have the exact problem, and i have already talk to him about this and what he says is not exactly what i want to hear: i want him to say that she is disgusting or that big boobs are gross only for making me feel good and ensure that he has forgot her and discovered that small boobs are better. You know how is life with small boobs, we have to show we are sexy too. His ex has this really big breast and she was his first time so when i saw her pics i instantly thought if he was enjoying what i have for him, i can't offer more but what i have. The last time we talked about it he said he now prefers small ones, mine ones and to be honest i wasn't, im not satisfied with that response. I feel so upset with myself, I don't know why.
Media is shit

[Anonymous]

You need a sex treatment for that insecurity.

Have him give oyu a boob f**k, or come al over your boobs.. something that'll make you feel he wants you and your boobs madly. I think you'd be cured after that.

[Asker]

They'r enot big enough for a boob f***. Believe me, he's tried with no success.

[Opinion Owner]

All you really need is to feel certain that you know how to please your man, and that you get him so satisfied he doesn't even remotely long for any ex. For example: it feels great when your girlfriend greets you one day, has you sit and then blows you "just because"... not as foreplay, nor anything. For the sole reason that she wants to give you pleasure. Figure out what he likes (dirty talk, to come in your mouth, etc) or ask him. And then do that. blow up his mind, and he won't remember no breasts

[Asker]

So I have to put extra effort just because I have small boobs? I mean I already love pleasing him, so it's not really a "chore" to me... but the thought of having to "make up" for my small boobs just makes me cringe...

[Opinion Owner]

hm no, its not to make up for your boobs. Its to make up (and solve) your insecurity. If you are not insecure at all, you don't need to do any of this. But if you keep feeling bad, insecure, self conscious, etc etc. Then hell, you need to so something to become confident of the attraction you excert on your man.

[Anonymous]

he likes you for you. not your boobs

[Asker]

Yeah but that doesn't make it any easier to accept that he kissed, licked and enjoyed a bigger pair than my puny ones!