My boyfriend wants anal sex (I would be the receiver). How do I tell him never?

[Anonymous]

We had sex for the first time, in which I bled a lot. Then I gave him oral sex twice, which caused him to come in my mouth. He playfully teased me about when I would allow him to put his penis in my butt. The next day we had sex again and then took a shower together. In the shower we played with each other and things got intense. Then he spun me around and tried to slide his erect penis in my butt. He never got fully in because I was told him "No" and that it really hurt. You should know that he loves my butt and loves when I wear a thong. I also believe he is just curious about all forms of sex. How do tell him I NEVER want to have anal sex without discouraging him from being sexually spontaneous and curious.

[Tigerlily]

Hmm on the one hand I get what you mean and your guy should respect your boundaries, but on the other hand I used to have the same viewpoint as you til I tried it! Having said all of that, has your guy never heard of lube!?

Seriously. I think the first thing you need to tell him is that if he wants to experiment with anal, there are a few more precautions to be taken, lest he tear up your insides AND his weaponry. That in itself should be enough to scare him off. Do tell him the story of a guy I know who did it without lube/condoms and ended up with a very nasty tear. He had to have some minor surgery to fix it.

But either way, be honest with him - just tell him that anal in particular is something you don't want to try. It's nothing against him, it's just not your thing. Some girls (and guys for that matter) aren't built for it. And there are loads of other things he can try, some of which you really love (insert example here), but the butt is off-limits, or you will stick a nail in his balls.

[38rakia38]

What's wrong with butt sex? When done correctly (not by idiots who don't want to take the time and patience to learn how to make it not hurt the girl but think a butt was made for penis, news flash, it wasn't) it can actually be extremely pleasurable.

Anyway, if you do not want to entertain the idea of anything ever going into your butt (which I can agree with, believe me, I was once in camp "No d*** in my ass") then my suggestion is this...

Be extremely direct about it.

"Honey, Darling, (whatever pet name), I have no interest in having anal sex, it doesn't turn me on and it doesn't appeal to me whatsoever. We will never have butt sex, so quit trying to slam your junk in my trunk, exit only, one way street. However, that doesn't mean we can't do other things that are just as interesting if not better than butt sex."

If you're willing to compromise, try anal play (NOT SEX), there's plenty of reading about it and if it feels good, maybe you think twice (probably not, but it's an if).

[eithyy]

Personally, I'd tend to say don't knock it 'til you've tried it. Properly, that is. With copius amounts of lube, relaxation, and a guy who's willing to go slow and be gentle. However, since you'd rather not go there at all, just tell him that you don't want to do it because you're uncomfortable with it, and leave it at that. If he still bugs you about it, ask him how much he'd like having something in HIS ass (Please note that while unlikely, this last statement could potentially backfire on you if he enjoys such anal play).

[DanHendo]

Lmao the last line nade me laugh. Its weird cause some dudes do like their ass played with me not bein one of them :-/

[dtaylor31906]

tell him exactly what you just told us

basically take your last paragraph and turn it into a statement then relay to your boy friend

it tells him what you want and what you don't want couples need to have conversations like that some times or else conflicts will occur

and conflicts always happen when there is a difference in expectations, so yall have to get on the same page get your expectations to be the same thing so their is no conflicts in the future

[DMR_RDM]

If he mentions anal sex, even jokingly, tell him you don't ever want to do it. Let him know that you don't think you'd like it, and if he looks hurt of upset at this, tell him that you still want to do everything else. You should be able to talk about these things openly with your boyfriend without worrying about what he thinks. If he respects you, then he'll respect your decision. When it comes to relationships, 'No' always overrules 'Yes'.

[bioweapon154]

Tell him your vagina drips better fluid and it feels amazing.

[WakaFlocka]

No means no. Simple as that. If he does give a damn about you he'll respect that.

[cutekid]

Tell him 'No' whenever he talks 2u about having anal sex with u,.if he doesn't respect that,then he doesn't deserve u..

[jacquesvol]

Explain him that your NO always means NO.

Nothing more is needed.

[Elliot0_07]

He should hold you hard and keep pressuring his oenis inside your ass... such selfish woman you are! Give him what he wants and stop complaning before he cheats on you.

[Anonymous]

Tell him "No honey, I won't do that. I want you, but I don't want that. If it is that important to you, you will have to find someone else to give it to you."