Should I ask him where we stand & if yes, how?

[lalalalawoo]

basically.. me & this guy have been "dating" for about 3 months now. everything started out..somewhat normal.. but we took things too fast. we have already had sex, numerous times, went away for a weekend, but have only actually gone out on a DATE like, 2-3 times. from the beginning we both said we weren't looking for anything serious, & the subject came up several times after that, with the same conclusion. he switched jobs[bc I met him at our job] & since then, I've only seen him once a week, but we talk every day. in the past 2 weeks I've only seen him ONCE. still talking everyday about how much we want to see each other etc, but I don't see an actual interest in him wanting to see him. words words words is all I hear/read. once, I had a picture with a guy friend of mine, & he asked if I could change cause he didn't want to see a picture of me with another guy[understandable] HOWEVER, before that & since, he has been putting up pictures with other girls. I don't know if it was looking for me to tell him something about them or not, but I never made a comment until just the other day. when I told him "nice picture" he said thanks but later on took it off. to finish this up, basically.. I am kind of feeling like this.. w.e it was is over, yet we still talk & yesterday he asked me to go to the movies with him, which I couldn't go, but once I let him know that, I never got an answer from him[ as if he didn't really care?] not to mention that he has thrown some words at me that confuse me, regarding where this is going or if it's going to go anywhere[ex. including me in future plans..?] so, obviously, I need to know where this stands, but I just don't know how to bring it up or how to actually ask him what this is. cause last week I asked him if there was something that he needed to tell me or that I should know[bc I got a feeling that he's dating someone else, & he said there is nothing..-.-] I also told him I asked because he's been careless with me lately & he actually admitted it, but hasn't changed. ps:: yeah, he's 23 & I'm 19.

[01bimmer85]

straight up ask him... you said you really don't care to see him... so do you not want to be with him ? if that's the case then why are asking all of these questions... ? you are not interested and he doesn't seem interested just let it be and hangout when and if you can... go out and do you jsut like he is doing him... let him see what its like to miss you and if he does then he will make it a point to make time to c you and spend more time with you and then ultimately not be so careless... know what I mean?

[lalalalawoo]

i miswrote, II do care, I just act like I don't because I see him acting like he doesnt. i have gone out & had fun doing me & whatnot, & so has he, yet we still talk about wanting to see each other, & he always says oh, when am I going to have the pleasure of seeing you again as if I've been the one who's been busy.[im no longer working, but he is, BUT he is still going out].. but I guess I'll keep doing that & see..thx!

[coolbreeze]

Well if yo uguys are friends with benefits. Then yo uand him can date other people because technically you are not in a relationship. But are kind of like in a relationship because of the jelousy factor over pictures. If you want to find out where you stand. Meet with him in person and talk to him and find out how he feels about you. Because from what yo usaying it seems like he is trying to distance himself from you.

[lalalalawoo]

i understand that, but after that weekend together, he even told me, hey, I'm not seeing anybody else. like to make sure I knew that, cz I was still having doubts, but he didn't know that. i also think he's trying to distance himself from me, yet he still calls me at times, & has brought up coming over & whatnot, I mean, he is giving mixed signals! & I don't know which ones are valid! on Saturday he told me I want to be with you, then acts like this...?!?!?!?!?! thnks.

[coolbreeze]

You are so right. He is givign you mixed signals. sayig one thing then doing another. I think if he really does like you he need to start treating you like a girlfriend and take you out and buy you things. I see where you are coming from. Seperating valid signals from the real ones.I still think he is trying to distance himself little by little. But do you really like him or see him as boyfriend material?

[lalalalawoo]

thats what I think also. I mean.. like I told you, he said he likes me, likes hanging out with me, spending time with me etc, bt isn't looking for anything serious. yet, like I said, gives out those signals as if he DOES want something. I mean.. clearly dude DOESN'T KNOW what it is that he wants; but yeah, I guess he is trying to distance himself from me, but why not just say it?.. you know, hey I think we're better off as friends or anything! is it that hard for you guys? & yes I do...-.-

[coolbreeze]

I think it's hard for guys to admit to things or express their feelings. If he does like you he sure has a weird way of showing it. Girls get to the point and they know what they want. Guys it takes more time. He also might be afraid t ocommit and guys don't like feeling pressured into relationships. Guys like to play it safe. I think by him not saying he doesn't want to be bothered would be the easy way out. I think if he doesn't mean what he say then he shouldn't say those things at all.