How comfortable are you when it comes to talking about sex with your partner?

How comfortable are you with talking about about sex with your partner?

In particular, I mean things like:

- talking about safe sex

- giving instruction or suggestions to your partner about how to pleasure you and being receptive to their instructions or suggestions

- expressing to your partner if there's something they do that you don't enjoy and being receptive if they tell you that they don't like something

- expressing what you'd like to do or try (in terms of a specific act, sexual position, etc.)

- sharing your fantasies with each other/asking your partner to try out a fantasy with you

- telling your partner about a fetish you might have, or asking them to engage in your fetish with them

- talking about your sexual history

Feel free to comment about what you're specifically comfortable or uncomfortable talking about and why. :)

  • Completely comfortable---we talk about everything.
    Vote A
  • Mostly comfortable---we talk about most things, but there are some things that we are uncomfortable with or choose not to talk about.
    Vote B
  • Somewhat comfortable---we talk about some stuff, but there's a lot that we don't talk about.
    Vote C
  • Uncomfortable---but we do talk about some of these things.
    Vote D
  • Very uncomfortable---we rarely or never actually talk about sex.
    Vote E
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
I forgot to add: talking about your feelings or emotions relating to sex :)


Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm sort of an unfiltered oversharer when it comes to discussing sex (as if this weren't common knowledge). This accomplishes a few things:

    -it scares off the timid, the repressed, and the foolish. Perfect; don't want to deal with them anyway.

    -it's leadership by example. If I can be fearless, over and over, so can you.

    -it's a teaching tool. I spend a lot of time correcting misperceptions and scooping out nonsense.

    -it's connection, a chance to ask "Are you okay with that?", "Are you okay with me?", "Are you okay with you?", "Are you okay?" Useful questions, all.

    Finally, it's just common sense. There are no mindreaders, so if I want, I gotta ask. So does she.


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 6

  • This is the way I see it, If you can't talk about everything you want to talk about then the person you are with probably isn't the right person. You should feel comfortable with your S.O. enough to talk about anything sexual. I would say on a scale of 1-10 my kinky level is about a 9. Its not a 10 because I won't let a girl take a real whip and whip me really hard. Other than that I don't have a problem. I like to have my girl to have the same freakyness in her as I do in myself, but its not the end of the world if she's not. As long as we communicate about what we like doing and don't like doing. I am all for instructions, giving and taking. I have notice some girls aren't comfortable with talking about what she likes that I'm not doing, since every girl has what turns them on. I can't treat each girl sexual pleasures the same. So I just try and get the girl to be as comfortable as possible with explaining what she likes and what she doesn't like. Usually at first I can tell she would feel uncomfortable with it, but after some time, she will open up about what she likes, or what she wants. Sometimes, lightly choking her will turn her on big time, but other times she's not in the mood for that so she will tell me not to do so. I guess what I like is to bring the true freak out in a girl, that some girls will hide because they feel like their man might find them weird if they tell them they like being smacked in the face or whatever it is that turns them on. But with me, its all about being open :)

    • You sound like an excellent lover. :D

    • Awe thanks :)

      This is how I view sex, If I can please my girl I have done my job, if she pleases me she has done her job. I am not worried about getting myself off, like I notice a lot of guys are... 10/10 times if you please your woman, she pleases you back. (mainly because its not hard to please a man) ha ha There are some things I haven't done. But as long as I'm not getting tortured, not play torture that's hot haha, but real torture then I am all game for whatever the girl wants to do.

  • I talk about everything with my girlfriends in regards to sex.

    Safe sex, talk about it beforehand and during, feelings, everythingggg :)

    We don't have any sexual history apart from with each other because we lost our virginity to each other, so yeah :)

  • When I'm with a person, completely comfortable. After all, it's important to communicate with them about all sorts of things :P so in the bed room or not I'll be fine with telling them what I like or don't like and I hope they'll do the same.

  • My current girlfriend and I are very open, but we are a bit shy sometimes

  • very comfortable... me and my girlfriend can talk about anything (and do)... wen it comes to sex... we are very compatible in that...

  • My girlfriend has had 2 bf's before me and she's my first. she is, as we joke, my "sex-sensei" lol


What Girls Said 2

  • We are very open, supportive, and relaxed around each other. We talk about everything. And we both feel free to talk about everything. We're very comfortable. We've talked about everything. Histories, fantasies, how things feel, if we don't like something, if we do like something, if we'd like to try something... It's wonderful how close we are. And how much closer this helps make us. Every couple should be able to speak this openly with each other.

    • Oh and feelings are on the table, too. We don't hide anything emotionally or sexually from each other. And we're both very comfortable and unaccusing and welcoming.

    • Show All
    • haha, and there's the potential for spacesickness and bodily fluids... getting away. I guess some things are better left to fantasy. ;)

    • Yeah... just start sexting about it. XD

  • I voted b.

    We can talk about how we like it and stuff, but when things feel like they are not going like they used to, it can be a little uncomfortable.


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