Oh for God's sake tell her to get over it. In today's day and age by the time we're 30 men and women may have notched up anywhere from 1 to 200 partners. If I was 30 and had 6 boyfriends and 2 one night stands in my twenties than I've slept with 8! That's nothing considering those 6 boyfriends from the time I was 16 could have lasted from 6 months to 4 years each. It is bizarre behavior after 2 years...perhaps there is a deeper issue going on. If all she has to worry about is that you've slept with a few other girls before her than this girl needs to take a good look around. There are so many things to break a relationship and this is about 1 millionth down the list of deal breakers for 99% of girls I believe. I couldn't care less if my man had slept with 100, as long as he was a good guy and was serious about me! If a college guy for example is at college for 4 years and goes out every thurs, fri sat night and scores once every month than he's clocking up over 50 girls at college...do I think he's bad? No! It sounds like you could be young...perhaps you need to gently explain the statistics to her, assure her she is the one you love and you made a mistake with the other girls. Looking back to when I was 18 I did hate that my boyfriend whom I lost my virginity to had slept with a girl before...but now I'm all grown up I can see that was ludicrous. Don't ever mention the exes and tell her it is all about her now and that she needs to drop it or she will damage what is a really wonderful relationship.
Buddy, you have yourself one hell of a possessive girl with major insecurity issues. You need to dump her and find yourself an adult. If you think you have problems now, just wait till every mistake you make or perceived mistake, is hung over your head at any given moment, leading to tears and unreasonableness. This girl either needs help, or she is nothing but trouble. I know my words might sound harsh, but I live in reality. And the reality for you, is that this girl has serious emotional problems. Maybe something just recently happened, and it has set this off. You stated that it is only recent. However, this revelation may be just that, a revelation. You just found out something about her, after having given the relationship a significant amount of time. Which gives validity to the wisdom of not to jumping into marriage too soon. Sometimes it takes a long time find out what a person is really all about. Sometimes these things don't show up until something sets them off. In your case, it may have taken two years.
She just started this? Has something else happened in her life recently that might have triggered this sudden behavior? She needs help, and by that I mean professional help and soon. Talk to her family if you know them and if not, ask her to please get an appt. with a therapist and tell her you will go with her. There are more issues here than just your past relationships.
This girl may be relapsing or having a break down of sorts. Perhaps she stopped taking her medication(s). That is why I suggested calling her family. Get her help soon.
Good luck.
I found out someone really close to her passed away. Thanks for the advise.
You are welcome. Now, you should know that with this may come some really sudden behavioral changes. So I do advise seeking greif therapy.
I am sorry for your lose.
Prime example of why you never share the 'number.'
Honestly, everyone is entitled to feel how they want to about their partner's previous encounters, however, this doesn't help either of you her harping on it like this.
One, it's obviously driving her crazy, which could turn to resentment, loss of respect, lack of trust, etc. etc.
Second, regardless of how you feel about the situation, this will eventually have an impact on you. Do you feel obligated to apologize when she gets upset or try to comfort her? If so, you feed the problem by admitting that at some level you did something wrong (which you didn't). Do you blow her off and not pay attention? If so she could feel like you don't care or that you simply don't understand where she is coming from. Do you simply talk to her about it? Which keeps replaying this in her head (and what is there to talk about)?
I wouldn't tell someone either way to go in this situation, that's a very personal choice. But be upfront with yourself and her about the impact that this is having on each of you as individuals and the relationship and make your decision from there.
Best wishes.
This is actually a prime example of why I share the 'number'. I want to know whether the person is someone who is understanding, open-minded, and has similar views about sex as me----or if they're immature, insecure, irrational, overemotional, judgmental, have very different views about sex than me, etc. If they can't accept my past, then they can't accept me and they're likely not someone I'd want to be with.
She's freaking out over 4 past sex partners? I don't think I'd go out with a woman who has less than 4 past sex partners. Granted, I'm much older...and so are the women I date. Four is still very few and anyone that gets freaked out about...I'd wonder what is wrong with them.
t really doesn't matter what you've done sexually before meeting her. If you are faithful to her, that's all the counts as far as your relationship goes. What she's freaking out about is her own insecurities and personal issues...this has nothing to do with you or your past 4 sex partners.
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!Well, it would help to know what kind of cultural background you have. I've never met anyone who considered 4 sexual partners 'unacceptably' many, so I guess you come from a stricter upbringing?
Asian brah yes very strict.
Woah. She does sound needy. I mean honestly, what does she want you to do about it now? I would leave but that's just me. It sounds like you'll be constantly running through hoops to make her feel secure. Who needs that?
"Listen, the past is past; it will not change. EVER. I like you and want to stay with you, but if you can't deal with who I am, you should go. I can't go get another past."
I agree with Marion. In short, tell her to deal with it. Those who dwell on the past, especially about things they cannot/could not control, are fools.
Well girls can be very sensitive about that. All girls are different. All the people saying she's needy etc. I think, yeah, maybe she is, but she's her own person.
And I think what's best is that you both seperate as I don't think she'll ever move on.
She needs to find a guy who has never been with any girl before etc.
It's just how she feels about it.
She sounds so needy, you should get out
If she can`t accept it then you can`t move forward in your relationship and therefore you should leave her and move on.
Get out.
You were up front with her, you didn't lie to her. Two years in she's starting emotional blackmail. She is either trying to get you to dump her, or she's got problems. Either way, there's nothing you can do.
So just run. Run for your life.
Lol
Tell her it's biology. Have her understand that they don't matter to you (not in so few words). Tell her to get over it. Tell her that it'd be triple digits if you hadn't met her.
Lol!
If she can't get over it (I mean 4 isn't that big of a deal) than you guys are probably in each others' best interest to break up. If you're clean, if you didn't ever rush with those girls, if you're not one who cheats, she should be happy.
maybe move on.
that is sad, talk to her.
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