Sexual Health
+1 y

Will my boyfriend dump me after an abortion?

I have been with my amazing boyfriend for 5 months and we are talking about moving in together. I have been on birth control for 3 months and never missed a pill. I recently found out that I am pregnant and am in no way ready for a baby. My boyfriend and I both want children but not for another 5 years. I am finishing my PhD and he just started a new job. I am madly in love with him and very afraid that after this situation our relationship is doomed and he will dump me. I want to be with him forever and would be devastated if we broke up.
0 0

Most Helpful Girls

  • I think abortion is wrong and evil and the people who are for them and get them are the worst horrible disgusting putrid scum of the Earth. I hate when people try to make it about the baby, unless the child has a decease like Ta sacks or ADL where they will die a slow painful death there is no reason to consider an abortion, even then it would be something to really think about. To the woman who say they have a right to their body and reproductive freedom, what about the babies right to live. The baby should not have to die just because you slept around and did not know how to use a condom. Even if the case of rape, the baby did not rape you and should therefore not have to suffer. Adoption is always an option. To the men who say they would want and make their girlfriend have an abortion because you don't want to have a kid, or your not ready for a kid, then you should do something to make sure she is not in a position to get pregnant. Adoption is always an option, because their are so many families out there who would want and love a wonderful gift of a baby and be able to treat it right, that their is never a need for an abortion other than being evil cruel and selfish. If you do not want a kid close your legs, and tie your tubes. And yes a fetus is a living thing, it can cry kick move have hair and finger nails, and even hear sounds. Even when it is just a little tiny cell by definition of living things it is alive, and thereby by making it not alive you are committing an horrible act of murder on an innocent baby. Why do you think they have special doctors and pills and precautions that to you have to take when you are pregnant? To protect the baby, because it is a fragile but living none the less being. It is a person, but not just a person, your child, you have a duty as it mother to protect it for 9 months and then keep it or give it up for adoption to a loving family. So even if you home life and situation would not provide for a safe and happy environment for a baby, you can give it up, and give it to a stable loving an caring family that you can meet and interview and choose prior to having the baby to ensure that it will have the best possible start, an then you could never hear from the baby again. Or your could have an open adoption and still be apart of your child's life even if you can't be the mother in the most common sense. You mother chose to allow you to live and grow, even if she was a horrible mother, she did that much, so you owe it to her, to pass on the gift of life. Say all of this to say there is never EVER a reason to have an abortion. Oh, if someone kills a pregnant woman they get charged with double homicide , why? Because the baby is alive, and so if you have an abortion you have no excuse, no reason, and your are just horrible, evil, vile, cruel, sadistic, monstrous being who dose not deserve to walk this earth because if you can kill not only a baby but a child you do not deserve to go on your merry way slut.,

  • I think there has been only one study dones in the 70s (not that many women participated so study may have limitations) ever done concerning your situation. It said that if the woman in her heart wants an abortion and the man in his heart does not, and the woman goes through with the abortion, the relationship tends to fail. If deep down inside the man wants the woman to have an abortion but deep down inside the woman does not, then the relationship tends to fail. But if both the man and the woman truly do want an abortion, the relationship tends not to fail.

    I advise you, however, not to go through with an abortion. Abortionists are shady people who lost their doctor's licenses and turned to the abortion biz for easy money. There are also several things that can go wrong. Abortion is a very risky procedure and no one knows for sure all the botched abortions and torn uteruses and such that go on in the clinics because they're not regulated. Kermit Gosnell is a recent abortionist who is being charged for killing a woman in a botched abortion.

    • I think people would do some research before they just decide to get an abortion. I know I would.

  • You can't hold a secret like that... THAT IS A MONUMENTAL secret.. Tell him your prego.. See how he reacts if he's calm about it then you may stand a chance to keep it anyway.. But if you abort it.. Just don't do that. I have been in this situation before and considered aborting it behind his back. I asked my 2 best guy friends " would you dump a girl for aborting your baby and not telling you? " and they both said HELL yes.. I finally fessed up to my boyfriend about aborting it and he actually got mad.. look if he leaves you after this it wasn't meant.. You can sit here and soak up all the advice we give and he will still leave.. Love doesn't die because of a kid.. It gets tested is all.

    Btw I miscarried.. stress related

Most Helpful Guys

  • I was with a girl when I was 16, she had a blood clot from her birth control and had to go off of it. She became pregnant and had to have an abortion due to medical reasons (blood thinners). We were together for another ten years after that. She ended up being the one to leave the relationship.

    I think you should definitely have a very in depth conversation with him about it, as well think about it as honestly with yourself as possible. It is a decision that you can't take back, make sure there are no unanswered thoughts or questions.

    It wasn't a choice for us, but the decision that was made continues to be a part of us.

    If you both make an effort to be open and honest no one will leave when a decision is made.

    Best wishes.

  • You should talk to psychologist. But you should talk with him about it. And ask a frind to be close to you ... like wisit you often and support you. Might be hard time. If he loves you it will work out ... I cannot say it will be easy and that he won't panic ... but will work out eventualy.

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

Related Questions

Girls, do you have sex drive?
I just want to get fucked! How to get a guy to approach you/notice you at a party?
Are you mentally ill or mentally healthy, and is it difficult or easy for you to orgasm during masturbation?
If a guy told you he could cum farther than he can pee, what would be your reaction?

What Girls & Guys Said

7 10

  • Talk to him about it. If he really dumps you after an abortion, he wasn't the right guy for you anyway. This is like the easy way to know if you're with the right person. The only problem is if he does decide to have the baby. I know you feel like you're not ready for it, but if you're really not, you can always give the baby up for adoption. There's nothing wrong with doing that and no one should have the right to judge you.

  • Talk to him about it. Maybe you can adopt out the child instead of killing it... just my opinion. Will he dump you if you abort anyway? I don't know... I'm not him, nor do I know his mind.

    I know several guys that would and several that would sigh relief and keep effing you... So really, it's a question for HIM, not us. You know him best.

  • Well I don't think he would unless he doesn't know about or agree to it. You need to discuss this and put a lot of thought into it, because its a big decision for both of you, there's no way of knowing how this could affect either of you in the long run.

  • I don't see a connection. You have done nothing wrong. You did not get pregnant all by your self, and I assume the decision on what to do about your pregnancy was a joint one. If my assumptions are correct, then you should have nothing to worry about with him. :)

  • Trust me, this will not change the way he feels about you if he supports your decision. If he agrees that you aren't ready for a child, then there won't be any problems. It's all of the people that have never gone through this experience that will tell you not to do it, but if they were in your shoes you better believe they'd also be discussing it. I'm not saying do it or not do it, I'm just saying that if you are both in agreement about it, there won't be a problem.

  • seriously please do not get an abortion...if you don't want kids, at least give this one to a family that needs a baby. I know its your choice but please think about what you would be doing. your boyfriend might be upset, so you need to talk to him first. but strongly consider adoption.

    • Agreed.

    • If she's not ready for a baby, don't try to convince her to have the baby unless you want to see some one who could be successful possibly go down the exact opposite path just because of one decision. It's her choice.

  • Talk to him first, find out what his feelings are before you do anything else. He did have a hand in the process too so his input matters.

  • You're 25.

    This will sound very condescending but I excuse myself beforehand.

    You should discuss this with him, if you love him so much his opinion should matter. If it's such a situation where he is fully supportive of you and you still decide to get the abortion for your convenience, then yes he would be right to leave you because you obviously don't love him that much.

  • Why haven't you talked with him about it first? Find out what he thinks, THEN if you have a problem come to us. You're looking for a solution you don't need yet.

  • I don't think he will break up with you, but you do need to talk to him about the decision.

  • There's no reason at all he should dump you, unless if he's narrow minded religious and controlling.

    In that case you may be better off without him.

    Dicuss it with him.

    Beware of those misguided fanatics who try to lure you in carrying out the pregnancy and giving the baby up for adoption: that's way harder on a girl than any abortion or miscarriage can be.

    • Bravo +1

    • Easy for someone with a penis to say.

    • I did never consider that as a handicap. :D

    • Show All

  • If he loves you enought he will always be by your side not matter what life will bring or not matter what kind of disicions you will have to make.

  • think deeply and tk d decision

  • Talk with him about it.

    Everyone reacts differently.

  • Do not get in abortion. You got pregnant for a reason getting an abortion is not the answer. Baby getting an abortion you are killing your baby for no reason. If I was in your shoes I would have it but I would out it in adoption. This are 2 hard choices but I rather stick to adoption rather then killing my baby

  • Should have swallowed. Then you wouldn't be in this situation :-(

  • What would be devasting is if you get that abortion, please please think about this and talk with someone about this. Consider adoption, a family that cannot have any children would be happy to have a baby. Seriously if he dumps you about being pregnant then I doubt he's the love of your life. It's you & your boyfriend's decision in the end. Goood Luck sweetheart

Latest Questions

Why are men sexually insatiable?
Guys do you think your smooth when you look at our boobs? And girls how often do you see guys looking at your boobs?
Did I sleep with too many guys?
Does sex actually feel different without a condom?
Home >  Sexual Health  > Will my boyfriend dump me after an abortion?