I am never sexually satisfied, and I don't know what to do :/

[Twilight_Starstorm]

I'm 18 and a girl of course. I started masturbating almost a year ago, and lost my virginity to my first boyfriend 3 months ago (back in October). I can have mini-orgasms from clitoral stimulation during masturbation, but they are in no way intense nor satisfying. If anything, they make me LESS satisfied -.- And no matter how many times a day I do it, it makes no difference. I have also never had a g-spot orgasm through sexual intercourse OR with a vibrating dildo... I did come quite close ONCE with my boyfriend during sex (REALLY close) but then I don't know what happened, I lost the feeling :S My boyfriend tries as hard as he can to satisfy me, but he just can't. And it isn't because he can't last, because he so can. We both lost our virginity to each other so neither of us have much experience. Naturally, he feels REALLY bad and gets a little frustrated that he can't satisfy me, which makes me feel bad for making him feel that way. I feel lucky that he tries so hard and hasn't given up yet but I'm starting to get really frustrated and discouraged... So far man-on-top positions have proven to be most effective, but it's too tiring on my boyfriend's biceps to go for too long. Girls, have any of you had a similar issue? What about you guys, did you ever have a girlfriend like this? How did you fix it? Can anyone recommend any toys that are especially effective? Or a certain position that is perfect for g-spot stimulation? Or maybe even a foreplay technique that helped? I'm so discouraged about the whole thing and I really need help in what to do... So thank you in advance <3

[jessieuk92]

Aww, I feel your pain. I have the exact same problem : / Clitoral orgasms, no issue. G-spot I get close but have never actually experienced an orgasm that way...

Poition wise doggy, missionary with a pillow under your pelvis and sometimes spooing are good for g spot stimulation. In the way of toys, I always get really close just using a realistic dildo... it's so much easier to do it to the pce and force you like!

At the end of the day, I've come to realize that coming during sex isn't such a bit issue! I'm sure when you're with your guy you don't think "this is totally unsatisfying" do you? Maybe you could explain that to him... I do. Just let him know how much you enjoy him pleasuring you and that you don't need an orgasm for him to make you feel amazing. At the end of the day, I'm sure it will happen when you least expect it. After all, they say the less you stress about it, the easier it is to orgasm : /

Try really slow and sensual foreplay at first to really get you in the mood then let him explore you with his fingers... you should be able to find the g spot, it's like a small bump on the upper side of the vagina... get him to stroke it :) Also you could try him licking your clit and using his fingers at the same time: win.

Good luck!

[Twilight_Starstorm]

True, but sex is when he *tries* to satisfy ME; I blow him before hand so he's already dealt with. So during sex our goal is to pleasure me, not him :S And it really does get to me, it's *so* frustrating not being able to get satisfied, even on my own XS I think the best course of action is if we focus more on foreplay and I get him to find my g-spot by hand, like you say. I need to talk to him about it, work out some things that might help. Doesn't help that I hardly get to see him alone...

[jessieuk92]

Maybe you should try not giving him a BJ before sex :P If he tries hard enough with foreplay and genuinely wants to help you achieve an orgasm even if it doesn't happen you can reward him with that :P And yeah I think that's a good idea to start with... I personally think foreplay is an easier way to get a women aroused!

[Twilight_Starstorm]

Lol, I NEED to give him a blow job or else he'll blow his load within a few thrusts, especially after foreplay >.< But when I give him one he's good to go for hours XD

[nowillno]

HOnestly, if your worried about hime : fake it. The more you do it the more you get to know yourself and can understand what you do need to have great mind blowing orgasm having sex. :)

[peeweelove117]

let him go down on you. I didn't orgasm when he did it for me, but he's only done it once and its amazing(:

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you two are trying to hard and not enjoying the moment. Sex especially for a woman is never good if your mind is somewhere else you need to literally sit back relax and think about nothing. Stop saying to yourself is he going to make me come this time and get in tune with one another. How much time do you spend on foreplay, does he tease you when you make love, talk to you to create emotions? All of these things play a role in your ability to have an orgasm and even multiple orgasms. One position you can try which will work IF you're relaxed and warmed up is have him put a pillow underneath your lower back but not your butt so you're body is slightly arching up. Let him go inside you in ordinary missionary position than put your legs on his shoulders and have him lean forward while he's having sex with you. The further he leans the deeper he'll get.

[malekoniky]

Dont know about toys or positions. What I know that feeling bad and trying harder to improve makes you both just nervous. It won't help. You should talk to each other and ensure each other that your don't have to feel bad. It is not the end of the world. And if you are more relaxed and confy it will be easier. Also I think that it will be less tiring for him with practise and he will improve as well. If he feels good about it. And so should you. Sex should be fun and expression of love not stresfull event when one have to proof oneself.

Having hard time to get orgasm is problem of many women. So you are probably one of them. You can visit a doctor. Maybe he can prescribe something for you or help you other way. You two have to deal with it. Just don't let it stand between you, don't let it make feel miserable or blame each other. That is way to nowhere.

[Twilight_Starstorm]

Good advice. I DO need to talk to him about it, so he doesn't feel bad and so I know that he isn't gonna get frustrated with me. I love him and I love being so intimate with him, but I think it's the pressure I feel to make him feel good that is stopping me. I'm definitely gonna talk to him. I don't want this to get out of hand...

[Imsodone101]

First off... RELAX! Sounds like you guys are trying to hard. Also, foreplay is really good for getting a woman off. The more you can really turn her on, the easier it's going to be to make her explode. Experiment a little. Not just with toys and such. But if you 2 just lost your virginities to each other, you probably haven't explored much and found out what you're into. Like biting for example. So don't get discouraged, just remember to relax and keep your mind on sex!

[Twilight_Starstorm]

I do try not to get discouraged, but we've had sex dozens of times over the last 3 months and you'd think that after all that time... -.-

[Imsodone101]

The more you try and try, the less likely it's going to happen. As far as these other guys saying that your man isn't doing it right may be true, but you were his first after all. Try talking dirty as well. That may help.

[Twilight_Starstorm]

Yes, I think it's because we are both each others' firsts that causes a lot of these difficulties... because we lack experience and skill... But we'll learn :) And yes, dirty talk is good; I should bring it up with him... not that I have any idea HOW O_O

[Imsodone101]

Just start talking dirty while going at it. Don't talk about it. If he doesn't like it he'll probably just tell you. If you're looking for new ideas, surf the net for some p*rn for research or something.

[Twilight_Starstorm]

Lol, it's not a matter of him not liking it, it's a matter of me not knowing how to say it without sounding like and idiot >.<

[Twilight_Starstorm]

Oh, and when I say "I should bring it up with him" I don't mean talking about it with him, I mean I should bring it up, as in say it, lol... But really, I want HIM to talk dirty, and I don't know to tell him that without sounding retarded...

[Imsodone101]

That's easy. Just tell him to. "Talk dirty to me baby." Just like that while going at it and done deal. lol. You won't sound like a retard. One thing you should understand about sex is that interesting things can happen in the heat of the moment. You will know what I mean if you don't already someday.

[Imsodone101]

Accually I have another idea. I don't know if your man knows you are here asking about your relationship or not, but if he knows and is cool with it, have him send me a message. Give me his/your e mail or something and I will tell him some tricks. If not no worries. Up to you.

[Twilight_Starstorm]

No he doesn't know, but thanks anyway :)

[peeweelove117]

I HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM! I love my guy and I LOVE having sex with him, but I just can't do it.

[islands7]

We-vibe II

[MandMandM]

Do you come when he goes down on you? Maybe get him to do more of that while massaging your g spot with his fingers?

When having intercourse do you also rub your clit? That may help.

[Twilight_Starstorm]

No I don't come when he goes down on me XS I think there's a mental block there... I don't feel right with him all the way down there... with ALL the focus on me, plus a tongue just feels wierd, not like my fingers XD haha

[peeweelove117]

ORAL RULES!(:

[dtaylor31906]

you can't force it maybe you guys should just be spontanious and not think about the gspot orgasm and I hear the storngest orgasm is when you get on one from the gspot and clit att he same time so when he is on to try rubbing your on clit

[carlo]

My very modest opinion is that it's not a matter of toys or whatever, but kind of some mental block or somehow unconscious fear around sex or something

[Twilight_Starstorm]

I don't think it's anything to do with fear of sex, but I think you are right on the mental block part... I think I'm too worried about making him happy, because he wants more than anything to give me back the pleasure I give him, so I think I should talk to him for my own peace of mind...

[carlo]

what I understand is that even masturbation does not really satisfy you, if anything you're less satisfied afterward even with masturbation... so probably the block is deeper than just your relationship with your BF

[Twilight_Starstorm]

Yes, masturbation fails for me, I don't know why :/ There is no mental block, maybe I just don't have the physical capacity to have intense clitoral orgasms...

[carlo]

well I don't know, if you say you are less satisfied afterward to me is mental not phisical inability, as if you feel the potential is another one but you can't harness it and leaves you frustrated

[Anonymous]

1. buy a giant dildo.

2. name it captian fuksalot

3. get your boyfriend to ram the aforementioned dildo in you

[Twilight_Starstorm]

That doesn't sound very pleasant :/ LOL

[Anonymous]

you gotta be TOTALLY relaxed and right into it. If your anxious that won't help. Buy a vibrating toothbrush and give it a try. It's cheap and it might work

[Twilight_Starstorm]

No need, I already have a vibrating dildo :P haha... but it's cheap and crap and ghey so my guy is gonna buy me a better one some time... As for the relaxing thing, I need to talk to my boyfriend... I think I'm stressing a bit over the fact that I haven't climaxed and the fact that I don't want him to get sick of trying to make me... I don't want him to feel bad for it, either. I need to talk to him and tell him that. I realize that now...

[Opinion Owner]

so even the vibrating dildo doesn't work? Apparently you can get vibrating condoms. Could be a good thrill for you AND him :P

[Twilight_Starstorm]

It's cheap and crap, so my guy's gonna get a better one some time :) lol

[Opinion Owner]

probably doesn't have enough power in it :P

[Twilight_Starstorm]

nah, it has HEAPS of power, lol, but the build is crappy and it scratches me XS

[Opinion Owner]

you know I'd love to be a girl for a day. From what I've heard most girls have way more intense orgasms than us guys lol lucky things

[Twilight_Starstorm]

When we can have them... :/ And my clitoral ones certainly don't count, they suck :S

[Opinion Owner]

That does suck. Well I'd give you one if I could but I can't from here lol. Maybe you could see a doc about it? There must be something they could do? Aww that really does suck. You should be able to enjoy it as much as anyone else does

[Anonymous]

This answer might be a little shocking but bear with it...

Your boyfriend is not f***ing you correctly. You said it yourself that he feels guilty about not being able to get you off. That is his weakness and its why you feel turned off in general. If a guy was extreemly confident (not fake but because he really COULD make you get off), then you would find yourself orgasming much more easily.

Heres where evil girls know a trick that most girls dont... be a little bit of a bitch so that he bangs the sh*t out of you. If you want to orgasm you need to start being more of an animal and hopefully your guy will get the idea and take over from there.

[Opinion Owner]

To emphasize on that last part: Guys love to f*** a chick like an animal. Chicks love to be f***ed like an animal. When a guy is doing something he LOVES doing(banging your brains out without ANY guilt), your going to get turned on by him awakening that part of himself. Its gonna send YOU through the roof!

[Twilight_Starstorm]

What do you mean if he was "extremely confident?" And what do you mean "be a little bit of a bitch"... I don't wanna be a bitch, OR get the sh*t banged out of me :P If I want it harder, I'll just tell him... Lol...

[Twilight_Starstorm]

Oh, you posted while I was typing :P I'm not sure I'd like getting f***ed like an animal; I'm rather shy and... "skittish" (for lack of a better word)... Though I might as well try it; it's not like I've got any OTHER options X)

[Opinion Owner]

Well, if your shy and not used to that kind of thing, try to be a little open minded and try it out. In the privacy of your own home you can live out those more outgoing parts of yourself which normally don't get to express themself comfortably. When I say "hard" and doing you like an animal, I don't mean necesarilly physically he's trying his hardest to pound into you. What I mean is how passionate he is about what he's doing at that moment. Yes it is anamazing feeling to pound a girl really hard,

[Opinion Owner]

but its also great when your just taking off her clothes slowly and rubbing her whole body with your hands.