What do I do to be less "awkward and boring" in sex?

Anonymous
My boyfriend is kind of depressed about something else going on in his life. But I know he still has a sex drive.

But we got into a fight today and he told me that sex with me is boring and that I'm awkward. I started crying he said "leave if you're going to whine". I then left and slammed the door he came out of his room and was pissed. I only had sex once before him and we've been together for 4 months. So I've had sex less than 20 times. He's also 25(6 years older than me). He's a grad student I'm undergrad. Also we spent a continuous 2 weeks straight together, he practically begged me to stay with him.

I told him I was always trying to improve myself for him& that I want to be better at sex. He said that I won't get like that by being awkward...because I guess he thinks I knew I was being awkward. Then he said I was pestering him all the time about flirting with other women. I was only telling him it hurt my feelings that he was flirting with them.

Then he told me he's not attracted to me sexually right now...and that it's honestly boring. After telling me today that I looked so pretty and that he loves me. Then I told him I didn't really want to have sex anyway, because it has only ended in my favor like twice. And he said he was honestly never motivated. :'( I told him everything he just said was extremely hurtful and he just said it was the truth. At the same time, telling me that he loves me& he'll always be there for me while I'm married with kids.

I told him I was so hurt by everything he just said that it was the truth:( I was going to drive home 4.5 hours(we're in college) because I don't want to b here without him and I never wanted to come back. It's not like I was going to sleep anyway. Then he told me to come over and spend the night with him. So I went over and he started making food so I wanted to make it for him. He yelled at me because I wasn't doing something exactly right. Then told me to stop doing everything and that I get annoying. After eating he calmed down and kissed me good night. As we were laying in bed I wasn't snuggling up to him because I didn't want to be that close and he said "I don't know what the difference of you sleeping at my place or yours" he lives in an apt I live in a dorm w a roomie I don't get along with. I would be crying all night. Which he knows.

I woke up this morning with him cuddling with me. Then when he stood up to go to the bathroom he told me he loved me...I'm starting to think it must be a reflex or he might just want to feel loved.

I KNOW there are so many guys that would want to have sex with me much hotter than him. I get hit on all the time, everyone always tells me they love my hair even guys, I'm in shape, and I take care of myself.
Updates:
+1 y
And I never thought it was boring or awkward.
What do I do to be less "awkward and boring" in sex?
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