Blaming myself because he didn't "cum" during blowjob?

[Anonymous]

Hello all, This has devastated my self esteem since it happened months ago. Everybody, including the guy I blew, has assured me it's not my fault, & these things just happen. The logical side of me fully agrees, the illogical girlie side blames me. 1 night I visited a younger man in his Rez room; he's tall & very attractive, though not my type & I wasn't sexually interested in him. We were in the same program so I was trying to get know him & perhaps find a study buddy (I was 26 & he aged 22 at the time). Trying to talk to him was painful! He's so quiet! He had alcohol so I suggested we have a couple of drinks, hoping we will loosen up & talk about school. We both drank, & I, waaaaay too much! Especially cause I hardly ate I got tanked hard, & quick! So I offer to suck his d***, he declines saying "not tonight!" laughing too. I got really self conscious & thought he thinks I'm hideous. I got more plastered & babbled odd stuff. I remember trying on his glasses, then talking about my t*ts. I said he can feel them if he wants, & he did. So I get on my knees & offer a bj again, he's like "but you're drunk" I assured him it's all good. After he felt me up I noticed when he pulled his **** out he was nowhere near hard. The moment he put it in my mouth he moaned like crazy & it got rock hard. We got in a crappy position with him half way lying on the bed & me on the ground. I sucked him off for almost 2 hrs & he started getting really soft. He stopped me & said it's just not gonna happen. I blame myself because I went in there looking hideous with no makeup, pulled back hair, & in sweats. I also blame myself because I feel my performance was it's worst due to being too intoxicated. I could barely suck or use my hands or any technique. I just kinda bobbed my head deep throating him really fast while babbling drunk dumb sh*t. I have really full lips & a pierced tongue, I've also made drunk guys (while I wasn't totally wasted) come who were much older, just with bj/hj. Before I blew this young man he said he wanted to hang with me in my room & I've caught him staring at me in class, plus in class he asked me things about myself & said I was exotic, so all this made me think he thinks I'm attractive. Now I 2nd guess it. I asked him if he's repulsed by me & he dramatically said no! It's not you. I left the college so I never got to finish him off. I already told him there's no chance for a relationship as I like older guys, but I'd be willing to have round 2 with him when I'm sober. My ego really hurts that I couldn't make a young, healthy, semi-drunk 22 year old cum. I honestly have been looking for a guy to practice on since & a guy to grudge f*** (I'm picky though & haven't found anyone to my liking yet. BTW - that young man was uncut & the 1st uncut boy I've ever been with. He did moan like crazy, d*** whip my face, bring my hands to his chest, have me titty screw him etc... So it's confusing as to why it ended so bad, & hurts my ego. I blame me.

[cindys]

That is an long story! Relax and just do like this:

First, get your mind straight. Just because it’s called a “blow job” doesn’t mean you should view it as a job. He can see it on your face if you don’t enjoy sucking on his “friend” – and that’s NOT the attitude you want to convey. You have to love his cock.

It’s all about preparation. Make every blowjob one of a kind, unique, memorable. How do you prepare? Candles, good lights, music, some wine, fix up the atmosphere, spice it up. Look good. Make it special.

Throw him in the couch. Seductively, naughtily, with a sexy smile on your face. Look at him with fascination. You slowly get on your knees in front of him, unzip and take his pants off. Make a happy, surprised look – as if you just saw your favorite ice cream, and you are starving to death.

Men are visual. Pull your hair back, so that he can see you completely and enjoy the view. Massage his legs seductively, get closer to his cock. Before it grows large, put the entire thing in your warm, wet mouth – moan with pleasure. Slowly suck on his **** as it grows large in your dripping wet mouth.

A few “aaahs” and “mmms” are essential. There’s nothing better than the magic words when giving a blow job. No BJ is perfect without the right words entering his ear. Compliment him, tell him how much you love His **** in your mouth. Use your hands. Combine fast and slow strokes. Be his p*rn star, not a nun.

When you get tired, rest your mouth, stroke him. Be his “slut”, be dirty, sexual – free. Do whatever you want to do. He won’t think you’re a slut if you swallow, on the contrary – he’ll love you for it. So get dirty and slut it up.

Speed it up as you come to the finish. Involve his balls in the game. A perfect blowjob isn’t just with your mouth. Use your whole body. Let him see your sexy ass, thongs, a sexy necklace. The way to turn him on is by being turned on by yourself. You have to feel sexy in your body. It’s all about positioning.

Tickle his balls, lick them and suck on them gently. Use your sexy nails to drive him wild. Hold his shaft, lick it up and down sexily while looking him deep in the eyes.

Now you start pumping his **** faster. Fast, and short strokes. Pump, pump and pump some more. Moan louder, suck harder, stroke faster. And then – he starts shooting, and screaming, and popping his eyes out of his brain. Pull his **** out and pump it out gently. Open your mouth, show him what he gave you. Giggle. Then swallow all of it. Smile happily, give his **** a few more kisses and sucks – clean it up. ;) Of course – you can always get even better. I recommend you read Jack’s Blowjob Lessons, probably the best book ever written about satisfying your guy sexually, by clicking on the link

[Asker]

Haha, that was a lot of detail. I improved quite a bit since then. Also, he was drunk & I was drunk so that's why that bj "sucked" in a bad way ;D I'm more mature & experienced now. Thanks for the reply :)

[Phoma21]

Its not your fault. You seem like you did your best for the state you were in and him, since he was drunk that's why he got soft but all the moaning showed that you were doing the right thing.

[diamond3]

sometimes it will take awhile doing a BJ.. it isn't u

[Anonymous]

This one's easy! Just go over to that guy's place some night when you know he's home. Walk in, give him a sexy striptease, take his pants off and have at him! If you draw out your strip tease for a full 5 minutes with a LOT of tease cover your nipples for awhile, wave your bare ass in his face and if you work the tease when you take his pants off (caress his thighs, graze his **** and balls with your fingers, teasingly lick him) you'll be able to get him to come with less than 10 minutes of being in our mouth. You'll both feel great!

[jd0125]

Try doing it sober... that can be a turn off for some guys and he might not want to hurt your feelings.

Even if it doesn't happen it might not be you. Not all guys come quick to a BJ... I have rarely came to one. Maybe he is gay?

[jd0125]

Thanks for the B.A

[Prof_Don]

First off, I must note that I'm answering w/o reading the description; it isn't too long, it too poorly-formatted. A 25-line paragraph is too daunting to read. :-X

If he doesn't come, it can be as simple as that he masturbates alot. I know that if I masturbate more than 1x-day, then have sex or foreplay, that I have problems "keeping it up", let alone "finishing". A man cannot stay erect if he has no "juice"; it's just the way that biology works.

[Jillian222]

It's not you! It takes a while for some men to cum. Don't blame yourself! :)

[CuriousAZ]

Alcohol can mess things up. Its not you

[Anonymous]

It isn't your fault. When guys are drunk we get horny but our d***s also get numb which either makes us last longer or if we're really drunk we have trouble staying hard. I wouldn't blame yourself for his whiskey d*** lol. If you are ever with a drunk guy again though try going as fast and hard as you can and if that still doesn't work he's too drunk and nothing will work.

[Asker]

Thanks for the serious reply. That's pretty much what I figured, but ya know... I guess writing about it anonymously helped me use logic & not dwell on normal insecurities. Guys ate so much collet than girls all around. Girls are usually so judgmental & stupid. Even my own post proved that! Though I wasn't trying to be a bitch, like most girls.

[Opinion Owner]

You're welcome. I always wonder why women feel so insecure as if they aren't attractive or did something wrong if their guy doesn't come though when it seems a fact that most women have a very hard time when it comes to getting an orgasm from somebody elsel. Women should be sympathetic when their partner can't quite get there lol : )

[ncsquirll99]

This girl I was with was sexy as hell and tho she was no pro there was nothing wrong with her bjs. I was just in an odd mood and wasn't sure if she was enjoying it (of course she wasn't enjoying it but you know what I mean.) The worry made me unable to come despite her best efforts and it ended in her feeling the same way you did. (btw I know I am a month late, I hope your problem is fixed now) Either way keep being the girl every guy loves and if you ever want a younger guy to practice on...

[Anonymous]

i don't understand did you want to swallow or something =/

[Anonymous]

your story makes you sound dumb and shallow. what's your question anyway?

[Asker]

I was asking if I should be blaming myself because he didn't cum. So go to hell dumb chick at the bottom, I'm asking guys anyways, not stupid girls. I did want to swallow by the way, but the point was it was the first guy I couldn't get off, & given the circumstances I wondered if I'm just beating myself up for nothing. All girls think these so don't judge me bitch. The net is a safer place to express things we feel bad about. Idiot.

[Opinion Owner]

hahahaha you're so ignorant. go read the paper or visit a hospital. you think you got it bad just because some guy didn't come when you gave him a bj? if you're looking for sympathy or consolation, you're not going to get it because no one's dumb enough to waste it on your pathetic little situation.

[Asker]

I know you are, but what am I?!