Sexual Health
+1 y

I'm bisexual and sexually attracted to my straight guy friends?

I've come to terms with my bisexuality and the fact that my male friends turn me on. I often find myself checking them out, glancing at their butts/crotch etc and imagining myself having sex with them. I often travel with one whom I'm particularly attracted to and share hotel rooms. He's somewhat homophobic but I want to make a move on him and experiment. What are the chances he or others would respond to it or how can I approach the idea of having sex with them? Or is it a lost cause? I know a lot more men are bisexual then they'd freely admit to.
Updates:
+1 y
I have not "come out" to them that I am bi.
0 0

Most Helpful Girl

  • im bisexual and I haven't been with a girl yet or anything but I wouldn't make a move on homophobes, even though they are often the ones with repressed homosexual issues. how can you even be friends with a homophobe? more power to you, I can't do it. lol

    it is true that many more men are bisexual than would admit it, but you can't risk your safety in trying to be the catalyst in their life. you can talk to him about it, if you want to, but I wouldn't make a move on him. you can hint that you think he's attractive and you would be with someone like him. you probably won't get a good reaction though, I'm just warning you.

    does he know your bisexual? do any of your friends know? that's the first step you should take. tell them.

    you should find someone gay or bisexual to explore with. leave the closet cases and homophobes alone. I'm sure there are people in your area you can find or something to experiment with. I think you should do it with someone you trust, be safe.

    personally, I don't really check my close friends out. I don't know why but I don't see them that way. that doesn't mean I couldn't experiment with some of them because almost all my friends are attractive. I think one of my friends specifically, she is very attractive but she is also like completely straight. I think. I don't feel anything sexual toward her, I just think she's very attractive. I don't fantasize about her, check her out or anything. I'm just saying if I would go for any of my friends based on physical, it would be her. she's also the one I'm least close to among my closest friends from high school. if that makes sense. lol on the other hand, my friends are the type who wouldn't be offended or feel uncomfortable if I asked them to experiment. they would just laugh and say "um, no girl. chill out." one of my friends is always joking about hooking up with me, asking me to make out with her in a jokey way, and grabbing my boobs. lol another one of my friends is bi and she's always throwing obvious hints and innuendos my way. or blatant comments. we are very touchy feely on top of that, but I'm like that with a lot of people. I think I could definitely hook up with her if I wanted to. xD

    i would hook up with a friend though if we were both up for it, and I felt comfortable with it. there's just something nice about having a relationship that is purely platonic. I'm very open minded, so I would hook up with a friend, but I also would like to keep most of my friendships non-sexual. and I wouldn't make a move on someone who is clearly homophobic or is simply not into it. you can't force people to come out. that's a way to push people away.

    • I have for the most part considered my friends off limits in the sexual arena, but was always curious if things could progress that way somehow. Which brings me to another point, if society would stop associating gay/bisexual men as being less masculine or being so symbolically detrimental to the classic definition of one's manhood, I think many straight men would be experimenting a lot more. Sexual pleasure is the same regardless of gender.

    • yeah well I don't really pay attention to classic definitions on manhood. as far as masculine and feminine... I have tons of lgbtq friends and one of the main things I like about the community is the open mindedness to think outside of the gender binary. sure, some gay guys are masculine, but even when many are feminine, that should be okay because neither is inherent to men. some men are masculine, some are feminine, some androgynous. same with girls.

    • This is exactly how I feel. The homosexual stigma comes from a skewed definition of one's manhood that somehow communicates to men that it's "unmanly" to be sexual with other men. The point I'm trying to make is that I think if most men approached homosexual sex from a experimentation and pleasure perspective, so many more would consider being sexual with another man. It's too bad that there has to be so much stigma around what should be considered a natural experience.

Most Helpful Guys

  • It's most likely a lost cause. But you don't tell us if your friends know that you're bisexual.

    While there's some truth to the stereotype that homophobic men are closet gay men, or bicurious men, it's hardly a universal truth.

    In this case, you'd have to weigh up the chances that he'd respond positively, or have a major melt down and out you to your buddies. (Assuming you're not out already?)

    If you guys drink together, or do recreational drugs, that might be the best time to bring it up. People on x or weed don't tend to fly into violent rages, and you have the benefit if it misfires, of blaming the drug when you all sober up.

    You'd also have to bear in mind that homophobic guys who do experiment with gay dudes, don't react well when they come to their senses. (again, going by the Republicans and conservatives who've been outed doing this.) They usually have a meltdown, and blame the gay guy. And then go way back into denial denial denial.

  • Lots of bi/gay guys have straight-guy fetishes and straight-guy crushes, which is cool as long as they *stay* fetishes and crushes.

    If he's straight, then even if he's really, really cool, the fact is he doesn't want you. It's how the whole straight thing works--we simply have zero interest in c*ck, and will decline it when offered.

    If he's a closet case, then your odds are worse, since his way of gaining straight cred would probably involve going apesh*t on you.

    Stick with the guys who actively flirt with you--just one reason to COME THE HELL OUT ALREADY, so the guys who like c*ck can let you know.

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

Related Questions

Girls, do you have sex drive?
I just want to get fucked! How to get a guy to approach you/notice you at a party?
Are you mentally ill or mentally healthy, and is it difficult or easy for you to orgasm during masturbation?
If a guy told you he could cum farther than he can pee, what would be your reaction?

What Girls & Guys Said

0 7

  • Don't try it with friends man. It will probably go badly and you may lose a friend or two. Go outside your friend circle. Gay clubs, bars, areas.

    You met these friends as a straight guy and they believe you to be straight. Its 100% cool to come out and let them know you are Bi, but I'd strongly suggest NOT making a move on any of them unless you are 100% sure they'd be receptive to it.

  • I know it is cliche, but you could try to have a few drinks -- get him a little drunk -- and make some comments to see how he responds. You could always pretend it was just the alcohol if he doesn't respond.

    • So you found another guy and are having sex, but are still pursuing the straight friend?!

  • You are the devil!

    • lol no just messing but seeing as they are quite homophobic I can't imagine it advancing anywhere. The best thing to do is find guys who are also bisexual. You will be lucky to get anywhere with a straight guy

    • What a moronic comment... Religion based opinion has no place in intelligent discussions...

    • watuneed... that was an extremely arrogant and idiotic comment, as limited as your understanding is of religion. If you even stopped to realize what I re wrote underneth, you could tell I wasn't being serious.

  • Just go to gay bars dude. That way you know for sure that everyone there is into men too. If your friend is homophobic I honestly wouldn't attempt anything.

  • There are so many guys in the same situation as you, don't risk your friendship its not worth the issues that would follow. Get online find some sites and meet other bi guys... too easy to take the risk you could ruin your friendship, and other friendships...

  • I am also bisexual... I would suggest that you maybe try and find another bi guy who you could experiment with first so as not to make it too awkward or intimidating, that way you can relax and enjoy yourself... BUT if you insist on hitting your friend up then id suggest taking it VERY VERY VERY slowly, really try and scope him out first and his feelings towards it... see if you can find out what his thoughts are on bi guys... even try and see what his feelings would be if 1 of your friends was gay or bi?

    If after that you he doesn't show that he would totally freak out and ruin your friendship and possibly your other friendships as well... try suggesting to watch some p*rn when your away travelling... then during it tell him you badly need to wank, if he does to tell him to go ahead and you will too...

    • Recently I have found another bi guy I have started having sex with but I am still looking for others. Also I will continue to pursue my friend. I have probed him and he's not opposed to bi guys or homosexuality in general. We will be going away for a long weekend in a couple weeks and I told him I reserved a room with a single king bed as that's all that was available (not true I lied) and he was OK with that.

    • So did anything ever happen on that trip?

    • Unfortunately, nothing really happened, but he DID agree to sleep in the same bed with me. He wore his workout shorts and a tee shirt in bed with me. He did (jokingly) talk about how "gay" it would seem once but overall had no problem with it. We would talk in bed about stuff also before we went to sleep. Didn't want to push anything.

  • Well my best friend is bi sexual and while drinking one night we ended up having a three some with his girlfriend, during this he asked me to put it in his ass... Now I am completely straight don't get me wrong and me and his girl friend were very surprised by this question since we did not know he was bi.. Or curious or whatever..

    But did I freak out? No.. I'm very open minded but did I do anything with him? No and I never would. Are we still best friends? Yes, did it change things, ehhh slighly.

    But if he's homophobic I do not think your situation would go in your favor.

    But hey you'll never know if you try but if it's not worth ruining your relationship over then I wouldn't suggest it, if you want to see him naked try to see if he's down for a threesome, with a women.

    • Listen to him (to the question asker) he is very much right!

Latest Questions

If women don’t enjoy penetration then why do they like sex?
What makes someone of opposite sex good in bed for you?
Is getting a circumcision the right answer in my case?
What is the safest way to dispose a used condom that was not your husband?
Home >  Sexual Health  > I'm bisexual and sexually attracted to my straight guy friends?