How can you tell if a guy is secretly gay?

One of my biggest fears is dating a guy who is secretly gay. (nothing against gay people, but I obviously wouldn't want to be dating someone who liked men). As a result I find myself always checking out whichever guy I like to see if he's secretly gay, but I don't know how to find out. What are some clues? I've heard of marriages falling apart because the man or woman is secretly gay, and I don't want that to happen to me someday.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm not really sure about this, because I've never had very good "gay-dar", but you can't live your life in a bubble simply because you're afraid a guy MIGHT be gay. Most of the people whose marriages fall apart due to one spouse being homosexual, actually say they had a wonderful marriage and would never take it back. Some even continue to be friends with their ex. It's a chance everyone takes when we date/marry, but it's worth the risk. Chances are, you'll marry a guy who's as straight as they come. Just don't worry about things like this. Have fun dating, and don't stress over who's gay and who's straight.

    After all, some of those people who end up being gay after being married for years never exhibited any signs of being homosexual. They were always the guy's guy or a girlie girl, fawning all over the opposite sex, but it all turned out to be an act. So, just because someone acts stereotypically gay or straight doesn't mean they are. Take a chance and date who you like. If you watch too long, you'll miss out on the opportunity to make your move.

    • I agree, go into it with the best attitude giving him the benefit of the doubt. Otherwse you'll pick the men apart.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Marriages fall apart due to cheating, money and lack of communication as well.

    It's really something you can't have done as a must know checklist. A guy who is bi will deny deny deny until he's ready to either move on or feels confortable enough to tell you.

  • if he doesn't want to do anything sexual with you besides maybe kissing/making out


What Girls Said 1

  • I hate that I think this is the case, but I'm pretty sure it's true. Following the stereotypes on this one will get you the best results. Guys that are too prissy, don't like sports, like showtunes or theater in general, are just a lot more likely to be gay. Also if they are overly fashion conscious, or just a little too pretty physically, that can be kind of a tipoff.

    If you're in a relationship, it's definitely a sign if the guy isn't very physical with you. Guys are very horny naturally. If a guy isn't all over you once you've made it clear that it's okay, that's a pretty good sign that he's attracted to something else.