Is virginity into late 20's common?

Out of curiosity and a general need to make sure I'm really not all that alone, I want to know if it's somewhat of a common thing to remain a virgin well into one's 20's (and beyond if the case would have it). Personally, I will be 26 next month, and after an extreme negative reaction to my first relationship break-up, I vowed to steer clear of intercourse until I was in a better mindset to handle any consequences. (And who said teaching birth control in high schools doesn't work? :p) Most of my adult life has been productive and as social as it can be, but between full time work, and a small addiction to international travel, I just haven't found the time to search for a lucky candidate. As I grow older, I'm finding it harder and harder to relate to the majority of my friends. It's not that I can't socialize with them at all (I'm probably the world's most corrupt virgin - I'm damn proud that I'm able to keep up with my guy friends when we play drinking games (don't get me started on the 420-themed Lord of the Rings marathon we had about a month ago. ;)), and thanks to masturbation, I said goodbye to my hymen years ago), it's just when the conversation switches to sex and experience, I just shut down and I just want to leave because I get embarrassed. I'm not holding on for any kind of personal religious thing or anything. I just want to make 100% certain that the first time I do it, it's going to be with someone who loves or cares enough to understand how important it was for me to hold out like I have been. Is there anyone else out there that's in the same boat as me?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • you'd be surprised.

    honestly, from what I've seen, who someone pitches themselves to be is irrelevant. in college I worked the door of a strip club, and I saw these old f***s coming up with Jesus <3 bumper stickers on their cars... with hats and sunglasses on and I sh*t you not, their collars on their jackets all hiked up.

    damn, one of the chicks I met when I was wingmanning for a buddy claimed to be a good girl, some bible thumping ****, who thought it was SOO wrong to sleep with more than 3 or so guys in your life... got her drunk, her real number was just like 2 dozen. she was fronting in order to attract a relationship.

    oh, and me? I have the chance to sleep with a few of the girls, but at 23 I've only been with 2 girls, because I don't f*** unless I (in retrospect "think") I love the girl, because it just means a lot to me.

    My POINT? : you either value intimacy on a deep inherently emotional level that you can't explain, or you Don't.

    What demographic or front you try and latch onto doesn't matter. its all a matter of how you are wired.

    SO, don't feel bad about how you are: the fact that you do value intimacy like you do says a lot about you, and the way you are wired emotionally. you would, like most girls in your situation, be a VERY high quality catch for a relationship, for any likeminded guy that was looking for a meaningful relationship rooted in passion, intimacy and trust.

    Cheers.

  • See here: link

    It is partially for religious reasons in my case, although it makes a lot of sense to me otherwise. I'm also far from being a "pure" or perfect person, and could probably beat you in some regards for the "world's most corrupt virgin" title. Damn, that makes me feel a little bit better.

    I can also relate to the messy first break-up issue. In my case, I thought I was completely in love with this girl and we were meant to be together, and everything I believed was wrong. I didn't even know who she was. I think it would have been even harder to get over her if I gave her my virginity. And so I think I want to just focus on finding a girl I can trust, and building that trust without the strings of sex, as difficult as that may be. And yes, I guess I also personally believe it's the right thing to do because of my religion but as I said I'm not a perfect person.

Most Helpful Girls

  • I was 25 when I lost mine and I was exactly like you. It wasn't because I couldn't get guys (most girls can probably get a guy to sleep with them if they really want it) or was socially awkward or lacked life experience but because I wanted to make sure it was with the right person in the right time in my life. After my ex, it took awhile to heal and I had to make sure it was with the right person that I felt comfortable with and trusted.

    It's hard to get someone to understand it but believe me, if you find that person they will respect you, and perhaps even have more respect for you than before. My boyfriend did. He was a bit surprised I'm sure, but he was very supportive, impressed and even a bit flattered. I'm glad I waited until I was comfortable with him rather than "some guy".

    I say be proud that you are sticking with who you are and what's best for you. I'm pretty sure whoever you end up with will respect you more for it.

  • Yeah 26 going to 27 and still a virgin and I guess I will be untill I find a nice guy...

    i know 3 virgins and they are older than me actually they are 28 and it's not a religion thing...

    Same boat here...

    Hey we should be friends :)

    I also stay quiet when people talk about it...Most people don't know that I am a virgin...

    Some of my friends that know actually mock me...

    • That's the big thing I'm generally worried about - but on the flip side, I do know one other virgin in our age group (a guy no less), and nobody seems to care that he is. But he's also learned to communicate and joke about sexuality without getting into his own personal experience. I have no idea how he does it, but he does.

    • For some weird reasons I even gave sexual advices to younger girls That didn't know That I was virgin 3 girls actually, they all had the same problem they didn't like the sex they were having, they were like it isn't Good but I do it anyway... I said you shouldn't find somebody else That Makes you enjoy it too,and they were Yeah you are right, but he likes it. And I was like Yeah of course he does but you were supposed to like it too so find another guy. I really don't understandsomegirls they dont

  • I lost my virginity when I was 22. My sister at 24. It's not as uncommon as you think. I'm really impressed that you are taking your virginity seriously. I wish I followed your example. I only lost my virginity because I was desperate to get rid of it.

    As for your 420 Themed Lord of the Rings Marathon...I'm totally gonna do that! LOL!

    • Problem is, I am starting to become extremely restless with it; and I'm no doubt on the verge of becoming desperate enough to just say "f**k it" and do the deed. There's just some biological and physical factors you can't ignore once you reach a certain age, but I'm pretty certain if I was to discard it like three day old leftovers, it would result in some kind of breakdown I absolutely do not want to deal with right now.

    • Oh, and if you do the LOTR marathon, make sure it's the director's cut and I would recommend finding the biggest bong you can get your hands on. :p My friends made one out of a Culligan water jug, a metal pipe and tubing, and it worked like a charm. :p

    • Kung Fu Hustle is awesome.

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What Girls & Guys Said

3 7
  • Common? Probably not. Are there others like you? Without a doubt.

  • yup! I would love to answer this question I'm virgin at 23, my friends keep saying 'virginity is not the dignity its just because the lack of opportunity' lol it doesn't sounds good but in spite of getting many opportunities I was able to handle the situation I don't want to lost it on someone who is going to move from my life some day, its not like I want to be virgin but I'll do it first time with someone who really loves me and I wish she would be virgin...

  • Median age of first intercourse in the US is about 17-18 by most good surveys. Late 20s is quite uncommon, less than 10 percent.

    But never mind the data, what's wrong with your sexual experience? It's as valid as anyone else's. You've made your choices, you have your reasons, you get to own that and be proud of it. No need to shut down or leave when sex comes up. Just say what you do and why, same as anyone else.

    P.S.: "420-themed Lord of the Rings marathon"? Lead with that, it's a winner.

  • Im not sure if its common or not, but I do know that sex is seen now more and more so it kinda makes it seem as tho everyone is doing it. What I would say is that the only thing that matters is when you're ready, not what's socially normal.

  • not as common as it should be, that's for sure.

  • I'm a 23 year old virgin as well

  • It's not as uncommon as you would think. I'm 21 and never had a girl that's a friend(in real life) or held hands with a girl.

    • you seriously never held hands with a girl? not makin fun...

    • Not counting my mom's when I was little, nope. lol 2 downs. I'm curious as to why on that but whatever.

    • "in real life"?

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  • I'm a 23 year old guy and still a virgin

  • i don't think it's common, but it's also not strange

  • I wish. Go, girl!

    No, seriously.