What does a married man want from me?

[Anonymous]

I am single and met this man through our kid's little league. I would catch him staring at me or going out of his way to stand near me. My friends brought this to my attention, then I started to notice. During the season I would see him with his son at games and practices he appeared to be a single father. He doesn't wear a ring but I asked if he was married anyway, as I was drawn to him. He said yes so I stopped flirting. I learned through other parents who his wife was and was told they are married but "not MARRIED" so I started to observe them. They come and go in separate cars, I've never seen them speak or look at each other as they pass on the field, always at least 20 ft apart. I do know that they live in the same house. At the end of the season he asked for my number for the team and I gave it to him. He started texting me all day and calling a few times a day, I thought he needed someone to talk to, he never speaks of his wife only his kids and mine. After a month we had sex, it's been six months and we had great sex 3 separate times in the beginning. He told me that I'm addictive and I'm easy to fall for and it wouldn't be fair to me if it happened. He then started to back off with the visits and calls, I respected that and stopped calling too. He lasted a week before he started calling again. When I see him at the local bar (always alone having dinner) he greets me with a hug and again talks about how he could fall for me then texts me the whole time from across the room, then the calls start up everyday again. He also called to give me his new number?!?!?! I now avoid the bar but he still calls. What is he thinking and why does he keep calling? This is not about sex because although it was wonderful we haven't had it in 5 months. I know I was wrong to sleep with a married man and it will not happen again. My questions are what does he want from me, would I be wrong to continue to talk to him (he seems to be lonely and have no one to talk too) and why would a a married couple act like this toward each other and stay married?

[l-hedoniste]

What does he want with you? Sex at least. He probably wants a relationship too, but he's not risking his marriage for it.

Would you be wrong for talking to him? No, but I don't think that would be wise, either. Given that he's unwilling to give you the relationship you want, I'm not sure it's best to keep reminding yourself of that.

Why would they stay married? It's their marriage, they have their reasons. Maybe they're good co-parents. Maybe one has a financial hold on the other. Maybe they're so scared of being single that they'll risk a bad marriage instead. Who knows? If you're that curious, ask--it'll give you a clue as to what you'd be getting into.

[islands7]

It appears simple to me - what he wants.

IT = what he has been missing from his wife = best friend, attractive female, companionship, teammate, co-parent, other things you have in common ... even sex couldn't be barred from this list. Knowing THAT was wrong, it seems it can be avoided in order to achieve the rest.

[Anonymous]

Despite how cool the relationship between this man and his wife may seem, the facts are that they still live together, and they are still married. If this guy was just lonely, he could reach out to other males for companionship. My guess is that he seeks from you the affection and attention that he lacks in his marriage. Unfortunately, this is not a good situation for you because he is committing adultery by sleeping with another woman while still married to his wife.

[C4baby]

He sees you as P*SSY, someone 2 talk to when he is bored or lonely or a distraction from his life. Marriage can be boring sometimes with many ups and downs and for right now, he's using you until he gets that high again from being with the person he truly loves... you know, the one he made his wife. If your're just looking for sex, then great! no harm, no foul! don't expect anything else though...

[DebiPie]

What does he want? sex.

[DebiPie]

You are committing adultry.

[CuriousEddie]

It's possible that he and his wife have an 'understanding', and are staying together for the kids.

Or they could be distant, and he is simply cheating.

Even still, it doesn't mean he only wants "sex". It sounds like there is an emotional attachment, too.