Touching through his pants- please advise.

So I'm 19 and I just started dating my first boyfriend- It will be a month this weekend. Anyway I'm pretty sure he wants a little more- as do I- than just making out. I'm not into blow jobs or at least the concept of them- so forget that. Last weekend I'm pretty sure he wanted to finger me, but I had my period so I told him "If you want to start finger painting go for it." He laughed and said something along the lines "Well I don't have my period." lol I completely ignored it though because I wasn't ready. Quick info: I was sexually abused (he didn't rape me though) by my grandfather when I was little- So I'm a little on the Virgin Mary side..Exception to lesbian p*rn lol

Anyway I have some stupid questions that I really would like answered. I'm really clueless but I have seen a penis and have been fingered before. But that's it.

1. While making out I figured I could just start off rubbing on top of the jeans and then make my way inside and continue what I was doing on the outside. Now the question is do I have to take it out or can this all be done in his jeans?

2. If a girl has done this to you, do you come in your jeans? And does this mean you would have to change or something? lol

3. When and if I have to take it out- when he's about to cum- can I just place my hand over it while still massaging so it doesn't get everywhere?

Please give me as much info as possible. And I would much rather just keep it in his pants right now until I'm completely ready.


Most Helpful Guy

  • LOL My GF's period stopped and restarted at an inopportune moment, so I like your finger painting joke. xP Anyway, yeah I guess you could do it inside the jeans, but I've come in my before, & it was so gross feeling I ABSOLUTELY had to change. Also, no you can't just hold it back. The thing is, once the true orgasm is over there's still more to come & it seems like it just keeps coming & coming. (I was on my GFs mom's couch when she gave me a VERY UNEXPECTED BJ & she was trying to catch it with scott towels, asking why it wouldn't stop) If you ever hear a guy talk or joke about an "afterpiss" that's why. Think of it as the rain flushing out itsy bitsy spider. (LOL xP) I've never gone all the way, & haven't done at all since '96, but if I masturbate, I like to feel like my bladder's filling & I'll need to go soon, so I know I can do so. Anyway, no matter how it was done, ior even if I had to change or was sticky, I'd appreciate & love my girl for it. Also, your questions aren't stupid at all, and I don't blame you for being on the "virgin Mary Side" My BFF was sexually molested by her stepgrandfather, & I'd love 5 minutes alone to get my hands on that animal, or anyone who does somethng that creul & sick to any girl, & I thank God for you it wasn't actually rape. Hopefully, the happy memories you make with your boyfriend will mostly push those traumatic ones down and away. I believe it did for my friend. Good luck, & I hope you & your boyfriend are happy & enjoy yourselves...

    • Thank you so much for that. I enjoyed it thoroughly lol I plan to just go with the flow (no pun intended on the flow I'm so worried about).

    • Hehe Glad I could help... :)

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What Guys Said 5

  • Yes, I understand you want to stay in high school and slowly work your way into the college way of doing this BUT you are old enough to graduate. Once you do this the college way, the HS way will seem too much time & trouble unless you are trying to drive him slowly crazy once in awhile until he takes over & dominates you.

    So OK to begin warming him up like you want but when he's squirming around, no more torture take it out! Eventually you will love making love to his penis with all parts of your body, so get used to it at your own pace.

    When it blows, it's best for you and your room to contain the blast with your neck & breasts, so try to keep these a naked as possible for easy clean up with a nearby towel. It's good for your skin. The best feeling for him is to keep it in your mouth & swallow but until that day is good for you as well, it's next best for him to feel your breasts caressing his pulsating penis while it shoots off between/on these warm globes.

  • How did this go! Details! LOL!

    In case you're still looking for suggestions:

    1. You CAN do it all in his jeans, but if you really want to make it good, take his pants and underwear off. It will me much more comforable for him if his hard c0ck isn't constricted in his pants--especially jeans which are pretty rough. It will also give you better access to all of his area and will enable you to touch his thighs and rub his ass and caress his balls--all of which will add TREMENDOUSLY to the experience for him.

    2. If you're going to touch his penis, you SHOULD touch him until he cums. To not do so would be a little cruel and will not feel good for him. So if you keep it in his jeans, then yes--he WILL come in his pants. And this would require some cleanup. Overall it's just a better experience to take his pants off.

    3.Oooohh. You're massaging it! GOOOOOOOD! LOL! So, not all guys are "shooters" from what I've heard. A lot will just come out the tip and not go very far, so it may not matter. I come like that a fair bit, but I can also shoot pretty far (I think) when I'm really turned on. I've been able to clear my head hand hit the headboard or the wall behind the bed for example. BUT, this is EASY to handle. All you have to do is point him straight up when he's about to come and massage him with his c0ck pointed up. When he shoots, it'll go straight up and then just come back down onto the bed. No mess other than the sheets.

    Do that and you'll have one VERY satisfied boyfriend!

    • lol thank you, and it went very well according to him. However, he has no idea what he's doing as far as I go. I had to show him and he still sucks after that. lol But whatever, I like him.

    • Show All
    • Nah he's not a shooter. And 6 times- once the first time, 2nd time last night and 4 times today lol

    • That's awesome! There's nothing like the early days of a relationship where all you do is f***! Haha! What positions have you tried so far? What's your favorite?

  • 1. Make your life easier and take it out. You're just going to end up crying because you most likely won't be able to get him off through his pants.

    2. You might want to ask him ask to stop masturbating for a week, because you really want to make him cum. That's because FYI it's rather difficult to get a off with a hand-job. I've only gotten myself off a few times through my pants and I had to watch p*rn for nearly an hour while doing so to get off. Just how much effort do you want to put into this? A 5-15 minute blowjob, or a 45-60 minute handjob?

    3. You want to get it everywhere, just have tissue or napkins to clean up, lol. When he starts getting close, DEMAND or BEG he cums on your face(if you're wearing glasses) or your t*ts.

    Kinky tips:

    1. Tie his hands behind his back or seat with his belt or your bra.

    2. Ask to watch him masturbate, then take over with your hands when he starts getting close. Teamwork yea!

    -Finally, don't obsess about the orgasm, even if he doesn't get off, it still feels damn good.

  • 1. You can take it out or leave it in. I have found that the head rubbing against the boxers/jeans can become uncomfortable after a bit though. This is just me.

    2. It depends on the guy whether he will come in his jeans... I doubt he will be okay with it though. A teenager or younger/inexperienced guy might be alright with this. Not someone your age though.

    3. If you take it out and place your hand over it the stuff will still run down and everywhere else. Its best to have a towel on hand somewhere for this occasion. you can even say your wore it outta the shower ect ect so it doesn't look as you've planned it. Another option is a little walk in the woods, it can be romantic and still sexually pleasing since you don't need to watch where it goes.

    Lastly, if your not ready I might still hold off, although when you finally do the deed I'm sure you'll find you enjoy it more then what you think. Sex and sexual activities should be fun, and treated as such. Good luck.

    • I'm pretty sexually frustrated- so I think I'm ready. lol This is the first guy I have ever been comfortable with and didn't feel like I was being violated.

      And I actually keep a towel in my room from showers- So do I just keep it near the bed and when its "go time," just hold it over and around while finishing?

      Thank you for answering my ridiculous questions =)

  • 2. yes. ( rub the tip/end of his penis with your thumb whilst your fingers are wrapped round the shaft slowly moving up and down) its awkward because of the restriction within his pants.

    3. yeah if you want ! but can I advise that he tells you when he his about to shoot ! because shoot he will ! distance and direction of said shot mite be an issue ! so aim carefully !

    • lol Thank you. My biggest issue was the "shooting" part. I mean I don't mind having to clean my sheets, but I would rather it not hit anything else in my room.

What Girls Said 1

  • Let me tell you that it is not easy to give a guy a hand job in his jeans. Your hand is in an awkward position and its very restricting. My boyfriend would hate cumming in his jeans...idk about other guys but I know he wouldn't like it. If you're so worried about the mess you could try using a condom? Or...swallow, those are really the only ways (without having sex) to not be messy.

    • I'm not okay with bjs- So swallowing is out of the question.

      It's not that I'm worried about the mess- I mean if its on my bed, then I'll just clean the sheets. I just don't want it to go anywhere else lol Thank you for answering.

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