How do I get him to focus more on my clitoris during foreplay?

I've started seeing a new guy. We're both in our twenties and he's very experienced, but whenever we have foreplay, he only focuses on my actual vagina (as in, the hole) but doesn't focus on my clitoris, which is the main way to get a woman to orgasm. I don't want to criticize him, because he does make me feel good, he just could make me feel better if he focused on my clit. Either way I feel awkward saying anything and I don't want to freak him out. What do I do?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Guide him. Sounds like he uses his hands, so actually take one and use it to stimulate your clit. Make it obvious how hot this gets you. Do it long enough so that he understands how you like it (where, how hard, how fast, etc.) then let him take it from there. If he doesn't get it, try again either right away or next time, and this this time, when you are ready to let him "take it away" again, actually tell him something like "keep doing it just like that." Again, make it obvious how hot this gets you and you should be home free!

  • Oh no! Don't feel awkward or feel like you're critizing him. Just say it in a nice way and maybe even show him. Like guide his hand (fingers/tongue) as he's doing you and be like. mmmm that feels so good right there. that's the perfect spot wow! That should make him feel so good and he definitely won't freak out over that because he is trying to make it feel great to you.

Most Helpful Girls

  • You're both adults so I would bring up sex to him. I would start out by asking him what he likes when it comes to foreplay and sex. This will give you better insight on him and will also leave it open and more acceptable to talk about what you like.

  • When he is fingering you or whatever he is doing at your hole ask him passionately to rub on your clit. I would think he would gladly oblige!

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • He simply might not know what you prefer. If he _does_ spend any time on your clit, make it obvious that you like it, and that you want more!

    If that doesn't work, be gentle, but direct and specific. "That was a good warm-up, but what I _really_like is this."

  • He may have been with a few woman but he's not that experienced if all he's doing is focusing on your vaginal opening and not the clitoris.

    If he gives any attention to your clitoris during foreplay, then that would be your cue to give him some feedback as to how good it feels and that you love it when he does that. If he's got any clue as to what's going on then he should take the hint.

  • tell him. its the only way. you shouldn't really feel embarassed by this, but for some people its understandable.