I'm a virgin, why won't my boyfriend have sex with me?

[Anonymous]

I'm a 28 year old virgin (yes 28) who has been waiting for the right guy. I met him and it turns out the man of my dreams is a 50 year old guy who I've been dating for 6 months. I want to have sex more than anything but I'm a virgin and my boyfriend keeps avoiding it. When I bring it up, he says he's just being careful with me as he hasn't been with a virgin in 20 years and he's afraid because he has never made a woman cry before. To me this sounds ridiculous because I am BEYOND ready to have sex, there is no hint of fear in my and I'm very in love with him. I was waiting for the right guy and now I wish I had had sex sooner so I wouldn't have this problem. What should I do and why won't he have sex with me?

[vmw2008]

Sounds to me like he can't handle the pressure of being your first. In most cases, although I can't speak for all cases, if a guy refuses to have sex with a girl because she's a virgin, it's because he doesn't feel strongly enough for her. Almost like a guilt thing if he were to take your virginity knowing he's not deeply in love (especially for a woman who waited 28 years). On the plus side he seems like a good guy. A lot of guys wouldn't care about hurting a girl like that. Down side is he may not be as in love as you are.

Like I said though, this isn't true for everyone. It just seems to be the most likely scenario. Any guy madly in love with a girl he's been dating for 6 months wouldn't refuse to take her virginity (given that she's a grown woman capable of making good decisions as you are). It would be an amazing experience for him. So I imagine it's guilt holding him back.

[Asker]

Thank you. You may be right which is heartbreaking for me that he may not be as into me as I am into him. I want to marry him and he might not be on the same page anymore. T

[5starmamirydes]

I think being with a virgin is every guys dream. Its definitely not you... I think its him! Maybe he doesn't want to disappoint you lol. He's is older, but not toooooo old. " things" or stamina may not be what they used to be for him. I think he's making excuses because he can't handle it, not you! Are you sure he's right for you? Plus, you are not weird at all for being a virgin still. I think its great you have waited, you honestly aren't missing much lol. Just don't idolize your first experience to be some magical experience... it may or may not be. Good luck :)

[nermalinda]

Girl, this guy has issues. You say he's perfect and stuff, but any 50yo guy who is dating a 28yo girl and won't have sex with her is nuts.

I'm sorry, but you'll be finding that our for yourself soon enough. I'm not saying this to be offensive. I'm saying it because I genuinely think it's true.

So if you want a boyfriend who will have sex with you and not be really weird about it, you should look elsewhere. Otherwise you will be stuck dating this guy for who knows how long with no sex or who knows what all other sorts of weird issues.

[niceguyBrett]

just give him some time.he might be wanting to save that special moment for the right time.mabey he is scared that hell ruin what you two have by doing this.mabey he has erectile disfunction,or is insecure about penis size?he might have an STD.try seducing your lover with fore play to get him in the mood then make your move.have you spoken to him about this? if your really serious about this than you could allways see a sex therapist about the problem.

[BJJFIGHTER]

lo, my girlfriend lost her virginity with 4 months of relationship with me so...

[MsLadyChaos]

50? Maybe he can't get it up and not to sound mean but maybe he can't and he doesn't want to tell you that. Or maybe he feels guilty cause your much younger or doesn't feel like he should be the one to take that from you.

[socalgamehater2006]

50 years old? he's old enough to be your dad, glad I'm not alone, I'm 23 and still a virgin

[Anonymous]

50!?! He could be your grandfather! That's weird... If he doesn't wanna have sex leave it that way =_=! There are younger guys who are sweet and sexy who wanna have sex, s you have a better chance with younger men than with a 50 year old grandpa...