Why do women expect a good guy to want them after so many bad boys?

[Anonymous]

i know this question has been asked a million times. however I'm gonna change the question a bit with some extra info. i've been seeing a few girls around that used to go out with bad boys that I knew in high school. ( still live in the area I went to school in) and they're starting to look for responsible good guys now. well I tried my hand just to see if they were serious. the girl I asked out (Morgan) was a real party animal. she was however serious about settling down and getting serious with her life and relationships. we talked quite a bit. it might sound mean but. god damn. she was stupid. she tried staying in school but with her party lifestyle she couldn't keep up. eventually we did have sex. again this might sound mean but. damn she was loose. during foreplay I could fit three fingers easy. it was hard for me to get off. not to mention the fact that if I planned on keeping my record of no std's I had to wear a condom. so to summarize. why do girls go out with bad boys? wear their bodies out and expect a good guy to still want them.

[Anonymous]

Because good guys don't care? That's why they're good.

We all have memories we're trying to run from, we all want a good life in the end. When girls are younger the idea of a bad boy, some one tough and bad ass seems cool to some people. And so that's what they want, they want fun. But once that's out of your system, you realize that it wasn't the best thing for you and... You want a real life, and to succeed and a guy who will love you and care about you. And on the base level that's what every one deserves.

So what if she's loose if she doesn't have sex for a few weeks/a month or two it'll tighten back up. Hell your hymen can regrow if you don't have sex for long enough. As for STDs, talk to her, get tested, be careful until then, all that.

But some times a bad guy sounds appealing, until they realize it's not what it's cracked up to be. Every one's allowed to have mistakes and should be forgiven. No one is perfect, so no one really has the right to judge any one else, including you. Yes she might have been a whore but what makes you any better than her? She made a mistake. And now she's trying to fix it, she wants to get some one good, some one who will be there for her. I'm sure she wants to go back to school and I'm sure she wants to have a real, grown up life. Which she should be allowed to have regardless of what she's done. And what she did in high school/early college is a stupid thing to judge her on.

You're not a bad guy but you certainly don't seem like the kind of good guy you're talking about. Those good guys don't judge, they don't care, they understand about mistakes and regrets and they'll help her get through it and forgive her ad try to make her feel better and get over what she did. You're still stuck in the past judging her. Comparing yourself to her. That is petty.

I know you didn't ask for a lecture but you were really condescending and nothing makes you better than her. You just made mistakes that affected you differently.

But there you have it, they want to turn their life around because they feel bad about and regret what they did. And having the chance with a good guy who'll love them regardless is the least that they deserve. Every one should be happy.

[Quadrophonic84]

I love how you call habitual compulsive behavior "a mistake". I've made mistakes. They were usually along the lines of trusting girls too fast or choosing to be with a girl over a guy friend I was supposed to hang with. Once seven years ago I even cheated on a girlfriend in college. Those are mistakes I made once. Let's just be clear what we're talking about here.

[Quadrophonic84]

You're also pulling the same thing you're accusing the question asker of pulling. You are claiming everyone deserves happiness and glossing over the psychological needs of the average guy. Even if he is a nice understanding guy, he's not going to want to feel like he's getting the last turn on the town pump. It's damaging to one's self-esteem, even for strong guys. To be clear, I'm not talking about girls who have been victims. My last girlfriend was twice a rape victim and I loved her dearly.

[Opinion Owner]

When you're a teenager it is. There's pressure every where, no one's talked to you seriously about sex and relationships because parent's apperantly don't know how to communicate with their kids any more, so you live a lifestyle that's not the best. Regardless of the reason they deserve a second chance. Mistakes are big and small, you've made smaller ones, these girls, due to lack of knowledge or lack of support made bigger ones. Ones that will haunt them enough with out guys who think they're

[dudeman]

the thing you said about good guys not caring is completely off men are allowed to have feelings to and we are allowed to do as we wish

[Opinion Owner]

just because they didn't. And not all guys have to love them. Not all good guys are that kind of good guy. But the kind of guy they end up with are the kind that don't care where they've been. I'm sure he is a good guy just of one of the other types. He doesn't have to accept her if he doesn't want to, I'm not even saying he should. I am saying they deserve to end up with good people just like every one else. Of course there are girls who have a different mindset that every one else commented

[Opinion Owner]

on need help before they get into a good relationship because it won't be healthy until they get their problems straightened out. And I'm not judging any of you. Some guys are the kind that don't care where a girl's been. Others are ones that look for personality, not looks. Others really honestly truly care about making it work and love and such. And lots of guys are a combo of different types of good traits. The guys they're looking for have the first trait.

[Asker]

actually the hymen can't grow back. ask a doctor if you don't believe me. and a vagina is like an ear piercing in this respect. if you gauge an ear ( stretch it out with a plug or large earing in case you didn't know) and then don't put anything in it it will shrink back down. however after a certain point of stretching it can't go back to it's original size. just like a vagina.

[Opinion Owner]

It takes a lot of stretching to get to that point, though. More than just normal guy's penises, no matter how many there are. They're all about the same size. More sex doesn't mean your vagina just sags. It's about how big the thing going in is. And I'll admit to being wrong, I read it in an article in a book for my bio class... from the 1940s... Apparently even in college the texts books are out of date.

[Asker]

also (ran out of available characters in other response) you don't seem to get my question which I would like an answer to if you feel like getting high and mighty. how can she possibly expect a man to want her after all she's put her body through and how she's treated herself.

[Opinion Owner]

I didn't mean to sound that way, I'll apologize for that now, I'm sorry. It's late, which, yes yes, is no excuse but that's how it is. And if she can respect herself again and admit to what she did and she knows it wasn't right and get herself to a place where she is a respectable person again her past shouldn't matter. I got out of a really abusive relationship that I did some really despicable things in. I lost the respect of every one. But I worked hard, and I got it back and got a new boy

[Opinion Owner]

friend. And because I had pride in myself back, and I had really turned things around again and taken ownship of what I did wrong, regardless of whether or not I really thought it was my fault, he didn't care. And that's my main point. There's the forgivable attitude and the unforgivable one. And one has no reason not to have a good man, the other does. I just argue this point because I like to see the best in every one. We're all capable of good. We're all inherently good people.

[dudeman]

you see everybody deserves to be happy but that doesn't mean being loved or even being in a relationship. it just means being happy and that can be done single

[Quadrophonic84]

I will concede that there is a double standard when it comes to loser guys versus loser girls. I have a guy friend who is a total loser and he still gets girls. He has no money or job, he's a drug addict, he has a criminal record and can't get a job if he wanted to, and he's basically kind of a d*ck. He has a girlfriend who has a job who moved into his bedroom with him at his dad's house. Unbelievable. Guys basically get a pass on being bad I guess.

[Asker]

congratz on getting out fo the bad relationship. and I'm not saying her past is the problem. it's what the past ahs done to her. I feel kind of angry now that those types of girls are trying to get with me. even if they are trying to get serious. it's like they're telling me now that they're worn down they're willing to get with someone like me.

[Opinion Owner]

But that's not how they see it. I understand that's how you see it, and that's the beauty of the human mind we all interpret things differently and I always like hearing other points of view. So I guess that's how I see it. And I'm not going to try and change your mind, because that's not right, and I'm sorry for being snippy. Just be proud that you are "one of the good guys" not many men can wear that status. Be happy, be very very proud. You'll find a girl who's right, on day, don't worry.

[Asker]

thank you but my point still stands it doesn't make much sense to expect a man to want you after you've worn yourself down so much. i wish you the best of luck as well and a fair warning if you're going to try and change my mind. I'm stubborn and it takes a good argument to sway me

[Shaun]

Person who's not a whore is better than person who is a whore.

[dudeman]

the guy that accepts them is not a good guy he's an insecure p**** that will run from a fight if and not protect his own, a man a real man a good guy will not accept this women and if you think they will you are really on something, and I would like some becaues I'm out of weed

[Anonymous]

Well it's unrealistic to expect a girl to have settled down and got married right after high school. usually girls like that are the only people who have had 1 or 2 partners. so if you are expecting a virginal chaste girl in your late 20s, you should have attracted them while you were younger. you can't expect Morgan to save herself for some imaginary guy that may or may not show up. but I understand that nobody wants a girl that has been ran through by multiple guys and has no respect for herself. there is a balance. not all girls are like that.

I imagine girls wear their bodies out and expect a "good guy" to still want them for the same reason that guys will have sex with any girl who will let them and have fun during their younger years and still expect a good girl who is almost a virgin to want them when they're ready to settle down.

I really think it's bitterness because you're mad you couldn't get with these girls in high school. But if she hadn't turned you down in high school, you would be no different than the "bad boys" you talk about. You obviously wanted to have sex with her, but for whatever reason she wasn't into it. so now that she is open to a relationship with you, you're mad because you couldn't get what you wanted earlier. Stop thinking of girls as possessions and think of us as people.

If there was a nerdy dorky girl that wasn't that attractive in high school but then she grew up to be cute and attractive to men (not just for her looks) should she be all bitter that guys didn't want to date her in her awkward stages?

[Asker]

i don't expect anyone to save themselves for some perfect person. I partied when I was younger as well. but I kept myself in shape and studied instead of partying whenever I could. I just don't understand why a woman would wear herself down that much and then expect good guys to want her. and it's not bitterness. I stayed away from those types of girls still do. morgan was the exception. like I said I was curious so I dated her to see if I could figure out why she expects a good guy to be waiting

[Opinion Owner]

so because women make mistakes when they are young, they can't possibly learn from it and become a better person? I think you shouldn't be so harsh and write every girl with a past off. inexperienced girls who are also attractive are very rare as you get older. you shouldn't feel entitled to a virgin just because you were a "good guy". maybe those girls fell for those guys or thought he was a good guy, only to be disappointed. you had sex with this girl yourself so how are you better than her?

[Asker]

she took a pretty long time to learn. and the sex was her idea. she's made progress in getting away from her old life but she's still not there. also instead of lecturing me how about giving me a plausible answer to my question.

[ShootingStar5]

Well if you don't date a few jerks first, you're probably not gonna recognize and/or appreciate a nice guy when you find one. Isn't the point of dating to find out what you want or don't want in a relationship so that when you find someone who truly makes you happy you'll know it and enjoy settling down with them?

Why does it matter who they've dated in the past? The point is if the girl really wants to settle down with you and appreciates you, then great! Isn't that what should matter most?

Most guys also spend some time partying and dating bitches before they settle down with a nice girl too. Why isn't okay that girls do the same?

[Asker]

i understand dating jerks and whatnot to an extent. i suppose I could've worded it better but I'm asking what goes through their head to make them think that the good guys will want them after they've worn themselves out so much?

[acka72]

That is why you try to get to know the man before you sleep with him. If he is not willing to wait and get to know you then he is a jerk or not worthy of your time. This whole thing of making mistakes and acting like an idiot so as to "learn and appreciate nice guys" is sh*t and faulty careless thinking. Emotional scars rarely heal fully and the woman/man who are stuck with "reckless behaviour" person pay for the broken dishes.

[dudeman]

yeah dating doesn't mean sleeping it means eating food and talking or other activities and talking, the only thing that does matter when bringing another perosn into your life is their past their words do not matter the past is the only thing that does

[Anonymous]

3 fingers "easy" (with little or no resistance or tension, if I get you right) is unusual even for a sex worker, unless you have unusually thin fingers. Either she was into really huge guys for bragging rights who weren't even a good biological fit for her, or she was into doubling up on guys or fisting or big toys etc.

A body does wear out. Sometimes p*ssy also starts to turn inside out a little bit, or the lips hang way down, nipples seem to pull away from the boobs when you gently tug on them, etc.

I say to girls out here it is fine to explore and celebrate your sexuality and you have the right to keep your sexual history to yourself, but if your body begins to speak for you, you've been once or twice too many times around the block.

Girls make themselves available to jerks because jerks tend to be more practiced seducers. If a guy is self-confident and has other options, and even forceful to some extent, and is smooth from practice, that combination is incredibly gravitating to girls, to the point of being irresistible esp. if a girl is inexperienced and dumb enough. I knew guys who tended to collect mementos like throw panties into some nook then the girls blame herselves for having forgotten them somewhere and go home pantyless - meanwhile they get added to a collection. If they could actually collect your hymens they'd wear them on chains around their necks I'm sure.

We live in a pretty unequal world and yes some @sshole who has not a care in the world is maybe b@nging the sh*t out of the future love of your love as I type this. Your only option is to stay a nice guy but be more of an alpha and go claim the woman of your dreams.

[Asker]

i have no clue what she was into but not a word of a lie. three fingers easy. little resistance. and this doesn't really answer my question. I could've worded it better in your defence. i'm wondering what kind of things goes through her head to make her think the good guys will want her after all she's put herself through

[Opinion Owner]

I don't think she thinks it through that far, to be perfectly honest. Not a girl thing to do. She sees a given next guy, she lusts after that guy, in her mind she invents good traits and qualities for this guy, like he's not like all others before him and there's a hidden good side to him, or he needs her care, or other circumstances, that rationalise her f@cking this guy. Then it's the same with the next guy.

[Asker]

that seems like quite a good answer to me

[Quadrophonic84]

Yeah I definitely know what you mean. I slept with this girl I liked last year who decided to go lesbian for five years. She was soooooooo loose it was just gross. I lost interest immediately. It's like, "How can I have respect for you if you had none for yourself?" I mean - she must have been shoving baseball bats or bowling pins in there or something.

The sad part is that most of the good ones are taken so guys like us that are still left trying to find a decent mate need to weed through these second-chance seekers. I'm not settling though. We all know why they go out with bad boys. I guess I know why they expect a good guy to want them after they're used up - the delude themselves into thinking they're princesses. That's why girls make up BS like "born again virgin". Delusional, pathetic, dirty girls.

[Asker]

i agree totally man. it bites having to go through girls like that

[iamallstar]

so true.

[udolipixie]

Guys complain all the time that girls for bad boys for sex & relationships and want a nice guy after she's used up.

Why don't they realize they do this too?

Guys go after sluts for sex and put up with hot bitches for relationships until they get bored. Then for a serious relationship they want a girl with a sexual past that's lower than theirs.

Pretty much all girls get a guy who's used up. Most guys are lucky and get a virgin, an inexperienced girl, a girl with a low number, or a monogamous relationship sex only girl.

If the guy a girl is with has a low number of partners or is a virgin unlike a girl it's not because he chose to be but it was involuntary. Most guys want to be a player.

[Asker]

actually. I find it offensive to be thrown into the same group as the assholes who go after sluts and bitches. not all guys do that. and also. not really answering my question

[Shaun]

Most guys aren't like that. That's just something women say to themselves in order to justify their behavior.

[acka72]

I think you answered your own question. They are stupid.

[Jocelyn2010]

you are so right. Some women want to have fun and go out with bad boys, than they realize bad boys just want fun too and nothing serious. After a while those women realize they want more than fun and so they start to look for good boys. If I was a good guy I would never take those women. But honestly many guys are same way too, they go out with bad girls and then want to marry a nice girl.

[dryad]

In some cases, the girl is heart broken, broke and desperate, and now looking for someone steady to take care of them.

[zombie666]

me take care of you :::))))~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[dryad]

I'm not that desperate :D

[zombie666]

aaawww ::((( ~~--__

[Asker]

still though I'm wondering how do they expect some good guy to want to be with them if they've treated themselves like that. it doesn't make any sense to me to want to take care of someone like that. if a woman wears them self out like that why should she expect a steady man to want to be with her

[dryad]

@Questioner, well it depends what you mean by worn down -- as in her vag is stuck open like a vase and/or she's beaten down with drug addictions? Some good guys will go for girls like that because that's all they can get and she's good in bed when she's able to perform. Yet if it's a girl who turned you down repeatedly in high school, then yes I'd imagine why you'd turn her down regardless

[Asker]

actually I never asked her out in high school because I seen what kind of a path she was on. I asked her out recently because I was curious as to whether she was serious about getting serious. and what I mean by worn down is both of the things you've said. and I don't know one guy good or otherwise who would feel that's the best he could do. ( I sound like a real ass when I say that but I can't think of another way to word it.) she did preform well in bed but she was too loose for me to get off

[superwoman]

i don't know I have the same question. that's why I don't have sex with guys, out of the exact fear you described. but I guess for some people sex drive is just too hard to control therefore their vagina open up before they can think?

[human_condition]

Maybe some girls just like living life to the full while they're still young... like guys do.

Maybe they think a good guy will judge them on their personality, not who they have and haven't slept with.

You thought she was stupid and STD ridden, yet you still had sex with her... and you're judging HER.

[Asker]

sex was her idea. she's made progress in getting away from that life style but she's got a ways to go yet. and I suppose your answer is decent.

[Shaun]

Guys don't wear out.

[human_condition]

Neither do girls.

[Asker]

i'm gonna have to call bullsh*t on that one.

[human_condition]

How much sex they have makes very little difference to how 'big' they are. Vaginas are designed to stretch, and then go back to how they used to be. Some girls are born tight, some not so tight. Is a woman 'used up' after having a kid? Would you divorce her because there's no tread left? Because that's the only real time any difference is made. We are not property built for you to f***, we're human beings with needs and emotions.

[dudeman]

your personality will dictate who you sleep with

[NerdInDenial]

Generally, these girls expect good guys to be desperate. Since, good guys tend to be rejected in high school, these girls expect that the good guys will gladly accept them because now the good guys should be super desperate.

[Asker]

lol I can't see that working out too well for them

[NerdInDenial]

They ought to make a cream to tighten the vagina. That would solve a lot of problems.

[zombiefood]

It'll tighten on it's own again after a few months at most. That's what vaginas do. If they're saggy they can't get the guy to come thus no baby. So they're made to pull back in after a while of no use. And they might, if not they certainly have surgery.

[dudeman]

just don't settle man being single is awesome, I think women do this because they trick themselves into thinking that they were the same girl that they were before all the d***ings, bad relationships and partying

[Asker]

being single does have its advantages and I'll admit it can be pretty fun. but it's just not for me and thanks for the answer

[dudeman]

hey I would like to be in a relationship as well but not with just anybody, if its a bad fit then you wouldn't have a very good time id rather be single

[Asker]

good point man

[cyrus7]

I agree for the most part, I won't settle for being some girl's "i partied and now time to settle" guy

[Asker]

damn straight man

[honeyltsme]

+1

[random_hero]

Quad deserves BA on this, it's dead on. Sluts don't respect their own body and do NOT deserve respect. Respect is earned.

[artemis5359]

I agree with what you are saying ultimately... but I think you're coming down hard on women for the nature of our biology. You're going to notice the effects of a promiscuous lifestyle more easily with a woman than a man. You could easily ask the same question of a former bad boy, why should a nice girl accept him after all he's subjected his body to? It just seems a little more ridiculous if there's no immediate signs/health problems. In my experience, the good guys love unconditionally, but I will level with the realists out there. In my experience, many of the good guys out there are the kind that want a wedding and kids down the road. Childbirth is going to have similar effects on the body. Just saying. The reasons why a girl should respect herself need to extend beyond anatomy, and the decent guy will be more concerned with promiscuity's mental, emotional and spiritual effects.

[Asker]

it's not just that she's worn down physically and mentally. it's the fact that she expects the guys she turned down so she could wear down her body in high school to accept her now. it makes no sense to me.

[dudeman]

thats not totally true a good guy wants and know he deserves a tight vagina he is also concerned with those other things but he is still a guy

[Asker]

i agree with dudeman

[artemis5359]

Ahh. I think I focused too much on this particular example so I apologize about that haha. You guys are correct in what you say. I mean no one should have to settle for second-best... in any sense of the term.

[jacquesvol]

What did the guy do to deserve "a tight vagina" ?

[Asker]

it's like artemis said in her last comment no one wants to feel like they deserve second best. and good guys tend to treat women better overall. I think that fact in itself should put the good guys above assholes and players

[B2W_777]

Coz they wanna have a some break with bad boys

[Asker]

what?

[Anonymous]

although I agree with you about them not having respect for themselves, I would say don't be so harsh, she probably doesn't know how to think or know when to stop.

I haven't slept with more than 1 guy in my life but still...

[Anonymous]

I think his one is fairly straightforward. During the time these girls are going out with "bad boys" there's no shortage of "nice guys" who are throwing themselves at them. But they don't tend to get a whole lot. SO, unless the nice guys are fine never getting any, they'll have to say yes when the girls come back after their time with bad boys.

Otherwise, the nice guys would be getting ass all along. And while some do (and settle down with a nice girl early) a LOT of guys don't.

[Anonymous]

Is it any.great surprise quality men don't want sluts? I don't care if she's hot if she has no morals and is a total wanton whore

[Anonymous]

The thrill not all girls are like that though. I know I've been with bad guys but I didn't sleep with all of them and tell her to do some kegel exercises lmao.

answer mine

girlsaskguys.com/Relationships-Questions/396435-should-i-ask-him-for-money.html

[Anonymous]

People make mistakes. Love a person for who they are, not who they were.

[Asker]

but a person can't ever be separate from their past. the past makes who you are now.

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, but people learn from their mistakes, which everyone makes.

[Opinion Owner]

Ok so for the people who keep downing my answer: you're not perfect either. Stop trying to emphasize other people's shortcomings to make you feel like you are better than they are. Even whores are people too, the difference is that they can get some and not just have to f*** themselves all day, which is what I suggest that you all do.