Have you ever turned down someone you like, for their own good?

I can't be the only one experiencing this. Have you ever really liked someone but knew you weren't good for them, so you reject them no matter how persistent they are? It's happening to me again. there's a guy I really like, but we are only good as friends. He's too nice, he's a genuine good guy. He always puts his friends and family before him, and even when he does go out to make himself happy, he keeps other peoples feelings in mind. He wouldn't willingly hurt anyone. He's really fun without being destructive, he's not against casual sex but he'd rather bone someone he really likes. Unfortunately for him, that girl is me right now and I can't figure out why. I'm not insecure what so ever, don't mistake that. I just know from past experience that when I get involved with nice boys like that, I completely crush them in the end. It's like a pattern, so I promised myself a long time ago that I would try to keep clear of them. I like the bad boys, the guys who can't really be tied down because then it's easier to move on to the next. My emotions don't get tied into sh*t, and I can more or less not care. He's been trying to convince me to be with him. Making ridiculous, naive promises, saying that he wants me so badly and not just in a sexual way. He wants me to be his girlfriend, he says he's in love with me. I just can't go there. I know my world will f*** him up. He's used to the safe, vanilla girls who do good things, say good things, and that's where he should stay. I like him as a friend, affection from a distance. I don't want him to be pulled into my sh*t storm, and I know for a fact that I'll hurt him. I don't want to believe in the happy stories that he lives by. I don't believe in love, its always conditional, its never permanent when people are boiled down to their most basic point. I don't want the flowers and the bullsh*t. I know that breaking his heart now is something that will save him in the end. He'll be able to find someone who's not like me, who's willing to play the game and wear the masks and sh*t. I feel bad at the same time. I bring around random guys when we hang out, pointless hookups. Not to make him jealous, but to help him get over me. If he just accepts that I can't be tied down, he'll move on. Any similar stories?
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Most Helpful Girl

  • I know exactly how you feel as I made a similar decision in the past. However, I've did some sou-searching on the subject and it led me to believe that we shouldn't ever decide what's good for another human being (other than your child or your senile parents).

    It's just disrespectful of the other person. If they're willing to take the risk with you, who are you to say it isn't the right choice?

    Especially since you explained to the guy and he still wants to do it. He's willing to get hurt, and maybe if you let him through your barreer he actually won't get hurt.

    • wow. thanks for the eye-opener

Most Helpful Guys

  • Actually yes I think I had a girl like this before and she is destroyed my life and made me lose everything but she didn't stop for a second to think about what she did to me so my point is that you aren't that girl you think you are this words which you wrote made me pretty sure that you are a good one and I think you had to give him a chance cauze as you say if you hurt him now he won't know why but if he try he will know why however I think he won't get hurt this time and please please you have to get yourself another chance

  • So to you...

    Love is a game? I'm sorry but I completely got overturned on that and I no longer can focus on the question at hand...

    How do you believe in friendship but not love? That's messed up.

    • I don't understand your question. Friendship is completely different from a romantic relationship. Why do you think it's messed up to believe in one but not the other. They're completely different. And yeah I think romantic love is a game pretty much, people play until they lose or they get bored or something. It doesn't last, people just convince themselves that they should stay for one reason or another.

    • That's sick. Just sick. You need to learn so much...

    • Sure. I see reality as it is, not with all the tugging at heart strings and frilly bits that you want to be there. To each is own.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • You're over-thinking this, for sure. If you like him back, give it a try.