What does it mean when a guy won't buy condoms??

[Anonymous]

OK so here's the deal. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a while now and we have had sex before. The first time we used a condom (that I supplied aka got free from my college health center as a just in case Because the issue was starting to arise and I wanted to be prepared) and of course it broke. used plan b and everything was OK. I went on birth control immediately following this. We have had sex a few times since without condoms while on the pill (not a lot since we live so far away due to school and other things like roommate and parents and of course my period.) I have had a few instances where I have taken my pill late and then freaked out that I was going to be pregnant and of course when my period was a few days late I would freak out even more. Anyways. Now I have told him we need to use condoms this was a month ago and he still has yet to get them. I told him I wouldn't due to the fact I don't know which ones to buy since I supplied the cheap ass one that broke. I was home for a week for spring break over that week he tried 3 time to have sex with me and of course failed due to not having any condoms. I asked him why and apparently it doesn't cross him mind when he's at the store. even though we have had one of these instances where we were fooling around then a little while later we will go to target or something of the sorts. I just want to know what is up? I have never been with a guy that isn't jumping at every chance he gets to have sex. I am just really confused by it.

[carshrimp]

He's probably hoping to just convince you that a condom isn't necessary - the pill is very effective when taken properly - and condoms can be restricting (and apparently it sucks and can be a bit painful (especially if going multiple times), according to a mate of mine). It's always better without it for them. However, if he's not budging, I wouldn't budge either. You shouldn't be forced into having sex with him if you're not totally comfortable with it - and if you're not totally comfortable then you won't enjoy it as much as you would if you were.

I would just take him to the pharmacy and buy some with him. Or if he's ever going by the stores and you now he's close enough to get them himself, text him to remind him to get them - something along the lines that imply you're horny and will have sex with him tonight but only IF he gets them. Hell you could even dress up and initiate something after you've reminded him, the next time he comes over. But if he doesn't have it then just be like 'oh well, maybe next time. sorry'. He should bring them, dammit!

I normally supply for my guy but only because I get really good ones for free but before I got them for free, he's been the one that goes and buys them. And he's even brought a few spare ones that he's left in his room / in his wallet etc just in case. So, to be honest I don't think its an excuse. But if you're that worried about it, I'd ask him directly why he doesn't get them. And if he says "I forgot", be like, "we can go to the stores right now and get them then". And try to get a proper answer out of him - like him admitting he doesn't like the feel of them and would prefer it without or whatever it is. If you do decide to give in though, I'd recommend you look into other methods before you do so - like the coil or the implant or something. (Though apparently the coil can be felt by the guy :/ wouldn't imagine that's too comfortable but meh! He should have worn a condom!).

[38rakia38]

If he won't agree to wear a condom then he's not compromising and he doesn't deserve sex until he follows through.

Granted I usually buy the condoms in my partnerships but there's never been any issue with that because I buy in bulk (the 32 count, about 6 boxes, that lasts for at least a year with me) and I use coupons.

However, condoms can be uber expensive and I can understand you not wanting to buy them. However he should step the f*** up and be a man and buy them if he really wants to do it instead of pretending like you're not concerned about the possibility of getting pregnant.

It means he's a lazy f*** with no regard for your personal comfort zone. A relationship is supposed to be a 50/50 game and he's not playing by the rules and sacrificing his wallet for 1 god damn packet of Trojans. I'm sorry but that's completely ridiculous, there's no reason he SHOULDN'T buy them. It's not that hard to walk into a drug store, pick up a freakin box, and pay for it.

Imagine how ridiculous I look with my 6 Costco sized boxes of condoms! Do I care? No. Because I know how to save money and he would probably buy the heating ones even though he knows I'm allergic to them. He's bought them before, but we usually compromise. If I buy condoms, he buys lube.

If you don't know what kind to use and your okay with buying them, Trojans are your best bet. I've had Durex break on me before, and I trust Trojans 110%. They usually sell them in adult stores but Crown is #1 in the world. And yes, they're pricey and no they don't come in 32 count (unfortunately).

However I would stand your ground on him buying them, because last time I checked men are supposed to have balls.

[Asker]

the ones I got for free were trojans. hence my wtf condoms suck and I don't want to buy them he knows the deal with them and I have feeling it was too small on him. And I don't plan on giving in on this.

[38rakia38]

That's really odd. I've heard about Trojans breaking before, but normally they're on top of their game. Go with Crowns then, also, it feels like nothing is there.

[kgrrl2323]

he's just like my boyfriend. an irresponsible p**** that's too scared or lazy to get condoms. which lead to my "unplanned" pregnancy. I put it in quotes because we knew what not having a condom could potentially lead to even on birth control because everything isn't 100%. I envy you in that you put your foot down and said no sex until he gets condoms. you are being smart about the situation and he should be responsible too if he wants to have sex. it's his potential seed that would be put in you. like I saw on a commercial for MTV's "16 and pregnant" that guy said its awkward for him to go in a store and buy condoms, and his girlfriend replies with its awkward for her to be walking with a big belly now. you aren't the only one wondering why your boyfriend isn't into getting condoms. I can't wait to see some responses from the guys on here as to why they can't go to the store and get condoms.GUYS! condoms cost less than diapers, wipes, and formula! I don't see why you can't help your girlfriend out and buys some condoms when she does her share and gets on birth control. sorry for the rant but I hope this helped you in some way.

[PeterCobra]

it means he must not wanna have sex bad enough. I do NOT want to have kids right now and so my girl is on the pill AND I use condoms. just to keep it 100% sure. there is nothing like that week or so of hell when a period is late you are both nervous and freaking out. then it comes and everything is okay. I would rather just be sure its not that and just be relaxed. been there too many times and its not worth it. sure it feels better without but it feels good with one too. so you man up and deal with it and help ther girl out and meet her halfway. she has to take those pills and sometimes have side effects. plus I can get like 100 condoms on ebay for like $12 u.s. dollars.

[DonMichelle]

We'll do everything we can to avoid 'the dreaded condom'. just doesn't feel the same plus it isn't as arousing, it's like your being forced to put a barrier between you.

My best is he's either expecting you to just give in OR for you to start using the pill again. It's the case of 'you're worrying... you're finding a solution' :)

[Asker]

but I am still on the pill I just want the extra protection so I don't freak

[DonMichelle]

Well he's definately just expecting you to give in, 100%, obvious, without a doubt, how could you not see it? :) ? ''I have never been with a guy that isn't jumping at every chance he gets to have sex''... he's trying to break you, it's what we do lol. If we think something is unreasonable we'll peck away at her resistance until it crimbles and we get the sex :) hahaha Have you ever considered one of those hormone implants in your arm? They last for 3 years, and you won't even have periods!

[38rakia38]

When I was on the pill and wanted more protection there was 0 debate and 0 pushing on the part of my man. Yeah without feels better but a man should be respectful enough to just, be a freakin man and deal with it. Without whining or complaining about it. Otherwise, I'd think the guy was a little bitch.

[Asker]

wouldnt you think by the third try and a month of no sex that he would cave by now?

[DonMichelle]

Me personally... yes :( I'm ashamed to say I would have done, I'd have caved after a week but I usually get what I want ;) hahaha Is your guy stubborn? Does he grin, joke when he tries it on with you, like it's a matter of time before you will give in or have you actually told him and made it clear? Maybe (and I admire him if this is his plan... rather him than me) he's gunna wait until you crack, not under his pressure but by your desire for sex? Then he'll be able to rub your nose in it

[38rakia38]

Don't get me wrong, I love sex as much as the next person. But if a guy refused to buy condoms and then whined and pushed me into not using them still. I'd cut his sh*t off after 3 weeks and find someone who could show me a little respect and compromise without whining like a 5 year old. Besides, my vibrator doesn't whine.

[DonMichelle]

And you'd obviousley think your fella would have caved... but he's planning something :) What... I don't know. Tell me about him lol

[Asker]

Also, how can I get him to cave in a buy some? lol any ideas are welcome. I am willing to be a sneaky bitch and play his games. lol

[DonMichelle]

Tell him that using condoms make your d*** bigger? They have magical 'condom powers'? hahahaha you can't trick him into buying condoms, your best bet would be to 'permanantly borrow' some money from him and buy them yourself :) Have you considered/even heard of the implant I mentioned!?!?! It's a dream in the eyes of most girls I know, NO WORRIES AT ALL!

[DonMichelle]

And after thought... you can be sly ;) (this goes against all I beleive in as a male, I feel like I'm betraying my own kind but I sympathise with you.. I'm soft lol) Make him think he's won. 1 night make out, initiate sex and just as he's about to stick it in you you say ''Ohhhh how silly of me.. your penis appears to be condomless, sex shall not procede'' He came so close, he's horny as f*** and he thought he was getting sex... but he didn't have a condom! You rub his face in it... tease him!

[Asker]

thats what has happened the past 3 times. so I don't think its going to work. anywho. do you think this will work? I recently bought some lingerie from Victoria secrets online. I think when it gets here I will tell him its here and how good it looks but then when he says something about seein me in it I will just say not til you have your condoms and not to bother visiting me at school til he buys some. or something to that effect whether its more of something like when he is here and be like

[Asker]

oh you need to see this but you don't have them so maybe you should get off your ass and get them so you can see me in it.

[DonMichelle]

If he's already resisted the 'seconds away from penetration tease'... 3 times... I pity you, you're dealing with a stubborn /manipulative/ very sneaky bastard... are you in a relationship with David Blaine? :) ? He's the only person I can think of who's capable of such mind control! As 4 buying the sexy underwear in oreder to make him buy condoms... I pity you even more (not in a sense of ridicule) I understand how inportant this is to you... it's cute ;) hahaha You really like him don't u?

[Asker]

yes I do. so you don't think that will work? how about I just go to walgreens from something drag his ass there and point to the condom isle and tell him he better get some otherwise he's not getting any tonight and walk away? like seriously he needs to f***ing grow up. I am really starting to get pissed off by this

[DonMichelle]

Try tesing him for another week, if you can resist maybe even let him put it in, he'll think he's won... then make him take it out ;) THIS WILL DESTROY HIM! He had a taste... and then was made to stop! (i'd weep if I had this done to me, I'd run to buy some condoms... seriously!)

[Minxxe]

please do not go impanting yourself with copper and implant rods that are not 100% safe nor are there any long term trials before they were Marketed (pharmaceuticals dream). Your man's an arse if he doesn't want to use contraception, why should you start plugging yourself with pills & sh*t - is he allergic to latex? No? Change your boyfriend!

[vmw2008]

He does want to have sex, he just doesn't want to use a condom. Give it time. If he gets turned down enough due to lack of condoms he will eventually go buy them (which he should since you're buying the pill). You just have to be strict about it. If they think there's any chance they can get around it, they will try to. Make it absolutely clear that there is no chance in hell you will have sex without one. He'll be more willing to buy them then.

[Minxxe]

both of you need to grow up, if you're ready to f*** each other you should at least be mature enough to know what you're doing.

take him by the hand and go to a pharmacy YOGETHER to buy the condoms. It's both of your responsibility to keep safe.

One of you has to be the adult - suggest going together & being as you already know how to use the internet do some research on the best quality and most affordable brands.

[Quadrophonic84]

Sounds like he really hates condoms. There was a brief period with a girl I was dating years ago where she got off birth control and wanted me to wear condoms, and to me one of the big draws of being in a monogamous relationship is that the condoms can be optional, so it basically killed the sex for me, which killed it for her. We had sex a lot and it wasn't exciting enough if I had to be wrapped in latex the whole time. So eventually she got back and birth control and the problem was solved.

[acubed25]

Don't give in hunni. I relied on the pill and the ONE time I let mai boyfriend talk me into having sex without a condom I got pregs. Of course he's not around anymore due to some serious issues that arose so now I'm a single mom at 21. Trust me its not worth the risk. I love mai daughter but it still a huge change for me that has affected the rest of mai life. So unless you're ready to be parents keep with the condoms. Maybe compromise and take turns buying the condoms. I recommend Trojans they have plenty of interesting types or just plain old regular condoms. The best would probably be the Extasy brand because they're less intrusive on the "good feelings"

[themastaplan]

instead of asking why he won't go and buy your own...

i don't know what brand the "cheap" ones are that break...but at my school they did durex or lifestyle...

trojan, magnum, durex, lifestyle are some of the main brands - go buy them, then there's no excuse to not use one

[Reggie1]

He could just be embarrassed to buy them - some guys can grab a box of 100, proudly plonk them onto the counter and say "see you next week" to the cashier or pharmacist, but others are a little more nervy about it.

That or he doesn't like the sensation of a piece of cold latex against his bits.

[kooky]

This is why my parents pay for mine. If I have had them in my pocket on a night out and there is any doubt as to the integrity of the package I toss it. It does feel marginally better with out(not the trashbags the school has) but a baby or abortion feels a lot worse and a lot more expensive. If he can't respect you enough to wrap it, I wouldn't bother with him. If he brings up that "why do you think I am cheating?" or whatever just say no, you want to be as close to being 100% safe as possible while still letting him get some. Just like if I were dating a girl, forgot a rubber and she said she was on the pill and I found she lied, I would be done with her that second.

[kriskiss]

in additon to birth control use the morning after bill as a backup if you are freaked out. or better yet have condomless sex and just have him withdraw before he comes and have him come on your stomach, t*ts, or have him come in your mouth and swallow it for less mess. then its a win win unless he can't pull out before he comes. if that's the case then he's powerless and you shouldn't be having sex with a guy who can't do that...its not rocket science.

[ZenSpace]

It means that he does not like sex with condoms. This is common, many guys feel that condoms make sex much less fun or no fun at all. He is planning to just go bareback cause its better for him.

It means he does not take the threat of pregnancy or STD's seriously and that he is ignoring your wishes.

Frankly, this guy sounds like a jerk to me. I have doubts about whether it really even "broke."

[liars_paradox]

There's no simple answer that anyone can give you, because no one knows your boyfriend. Any advice would be the result of speculation about the kind of person that your boyfriend is. He could be lazy, have AIDS, doesn't really like you much anymore, etc. There's no way to tell because you haven't told us what kind of person that he is.

[DaveMicharl69]

Me too, unless he's just selfish N really determined to use one. The ones at the store shouldn't break, last I've never heard of it happening, but if he cares bout you, since this is obviously very important to you, he should be RUNNING to the store to get some! I hope he wises up...

[candy_41111]

I think you need to withhold sex. I'd be worried about STDs and pregnancy. So do the pill and the condom when HE gets the chance to buy some. I thnk your boyfriend is being careless with this whole sex thing. So push the condom thing.

[GuyAdviceFromGuy]

Omg, first of all NEVER EVER use dorm condoms because they often times break. If you must use a dorm condom, check the expiration date and use a name brand like Trojan or Lifestyle. Also, if he keeps forgetting tell him you'll dump his ass if he forgets next time he goes to Walmart.

[GuyAdviceFromGuy]

Oh yea, stop using the pill cause it f***s with your body!

[sigsauer45]

If you boyfriend dose not wear a condom and you are on the pill dose not mean that you won,t get pregnant and the nest thing you my what to think about is how you both have sleep with be for you sleep with him and how he sleep with be for you and that is were condoms come in to play here if he won,t but them then you do it and if you don,t know what kind to get so they don,t bake

ask some one at a drug store you may fill a little uncomforable doing it but if it keep you from getting pregnant or getting an std then make him wear one ever time he what to have sex with you we all know that it fills better with out one but y take the chance of getting pregnant just tell him no condom no sex and if he respect you he will put one on

[trinababy_x]

I agree with 'DonMichelle' my boyfriend he just refuses to use a condom, people say it's because he doesn't love me or whatever but that has nothing to do with it, he just prefers to have sex without a barrier between us. He wants me to get on the pill though so we can have safe sex without that annoying thing he has to wear.

[Phoma21]

YOu should go buy trogans in just about any type as long as it isn't a magnum or something large like that. trogan is a great brand of condoms and plus it comes in many varietys

[emilyzenella]

He's probably just embarrassed to buy condoms. :( or he's just hoping you'll "miss" him and give in.

[stewartc1979]

I would bet he did something to it to say it broke cause obviously he doesn't wanna wear one. another thing is all these shots and hormone implants doesn't protect you from diseases. If he isn't man enough to respect your simple wishes of wearing a condom saying he forgot that's a sad excuse. Just think if you give in to him over and over and you end up pregnant the way you describe this guy he's immature and forgets guess what most likely he is gonna forget to help come over and help with the baby ,forget to buy diapers or milk ,well I could go on and on ...just tell him no and if he ever wants sex from you again buy condoms or bye its that simple.

[TrailOfTears]

I would say that guy is a p**** who is afraid to buy condoms. Also I'm pretty sure the reason the condom broke is because he is being careless and not so much due to the quality of the actual condom.

I think it would be a good idea to get him to watch or read up some on the use of condoms and tell him there will be no more sex until he gets his ass up and buys condoms.

[prettymuscle]

Cause in his mine, condoms sucks and if feels better not to have one, don't you agree