My girlfriend had a threesome with 2 of my friends 2 months before we started dating?

[Anonymous]

I just found out yesterday that my girlfriend, who I've been dating for about three months now had a threesome with two of my friends not long before we started dating. She didn't tell me this her self, I had to find out from my roommate after another one of my friends told him. All of my circle of friends knew this before I did. The worst part is both of the guys that slept with here are kind of morons. I like this girl, but I don't know if I can handle this. Every time I look at her I think of her getting figertrapped by thos to goons. I can't ask and e one there opinion ( irl I mean ) and I seriously don't know what to do. ANY opinions would be a lot of help right now. thanks

[islands7]

Gee, this seems to be an easy answer.

1. You don't like or respect your two friends in that threesome

2. You are attracted to your Girlfriend and have been for 3 months - that's pretty long

3. The only thing you've found wrong w/GF is the threesome, most find more than that after 3 months

4. No guy is perfect, not even you ... perhaps she could find something wrong with you?

ANSWER

Dump the "friends", keep the Girlfriend until she goes nuts and does this again ... which is doubtful.

Try not to make any mistakes like she did yourself.

However you judge &/or forgive ... is how you will be treated in return.

Be happy you have a Girlfriend that likes sex on occation & is not a popcicle prude.

[koushikshine]

" Dump the "friends", keep the Girlfriend until she goes nuts and does this again... which is doubtful." Why is it doubtfull. Now if she gets along with this easily, it will afain encourage her to repeat. N her body is accustumed to it

[BJJFIGHTER]

dude... break up with this girl and look for a clean girl! how are you gonna f*** her if you know your friends just f***ed her before you?... every1 already f***ed her.. why do you wanna be with a girl your friends already f***eD? you can just f*** a hooker.. its gonna be the same thing...

think aBOUT it..

[Zell16]

I couldn't agree with you more.

[Anonymous]

i think that she should have told you about it first. it was obviously going to come out sooner or later cause those were your friends that she was with. she kind of made you look like a fool. I don't like it that your roommate was the one who had to tell you. it just shows you that she doesn't really respect you. it also shows that she's weak. she only told you the truth once she got caught. I don't like that kind of crap. who knows what else she is capable of. at the very least, take some time away from her to really think about what you want to do. you'll get some clarity the more time you spend away from her. in the meantime, she'll probably have another threesome with two other random guys and then you'll have your answer.

[Hello_World10]

I heard a lot of these stories but not threesome. It is hard to let it go because every time you see her, that all you think about. It is kind like a government official cheating and it has come back to haunt him/her. Yes, the past is the past but if you can't get over it, then that all you will feel. Her judgment isn't great and I would recommend to feeling a lot better is to move on. It is haunting and a 50% isn't worth months of internal pain debating if you should be dating her or not when you really should be happy with the person you are with. Just my two cents.

[koushikshine]

But her past are in her present too.. as they her husband's friends whom he encounters often.

[Olivia9]

Dump her. Not because she did it but because she kept it on the low an that is shady. Who knows what else she is hiding. I mean she should have to the bull by the horns when she found out those two were your friends she should have told you what happened. If t were me I wouldn't be able to trust her again. And would think of my two friends and her and it wouldn't be good for either of us. So just end it now and don't prolong the relationship if yor going to be unhappy or jealous/insecure when it comes to her.

[charlie_girl]

I personally would not date a guy that had slept with my friends let alone had a threesome with them! You need to ask yourself can you continue to be with and respect her without judging her in this situation? If so then just go for it . Otherwise it may be something that will always linger in the back of your mind.

[random_hero]

Wait a minute, why does she deserve respect at all? She's a total slut.

[ericneo]

You said you wouldn't do it, so why should he put up with it.

[LostWonder94]

Those kind of girls should not be messed with...i mean if she did something like that 1+yrs ago there is a chance that she could of changed but 2months?No offense but she kind of seems like a whore,i say dump her,but its up to you

[dudeman]

1 year come on I want a 1 year buffer between d***s but a threesome try a half decade seriously man

[LostWonder94]

I am talking about change,as long as she changed and regret what she have done,i will not hold that against her

[redmenace]

Yeah, this is a tough pill to swallow. No one can blame you if you choose to dump her. She had a freakin' threesome! She should've known there'll be repercussions for doing that.

[rachel_myers]

That's stupid, especially coming from a girl! It's her body, her biz. It would be different she had done it WHILE they were dating, but she didn't!

[redmenace]

Doing something like that (or a sex tape) and thinking it won't affect your future relationships IS stupid. EVERYTHING YOU DO IN THE PAST HAS CONSEQUENCES. That's why you should think before you act. I'm not saying she's a bad person at all or that she should not be given another chance, but if her boyfriend chooses to dump her because of this then she just has to accept that. She has to take responsibility for her decisions in life.

[ap1100]

I agree people shouldn't be judged but people like Rachel who so vehemently defend anything someone wants to do get annoying. It's almost like they've done something like this and they are projecting the judgment onto themselves. Yes, everything you do has consequences. I had a vasectomy at 21. You think a woman should be forced to date me because of that? (Esp. considering it has a 96% chance of being reversed) I've been dumped for that. Does that fall into "my body, my biz", Rachel?

[koushikshine]

@rachel_myers why it would have been different while with him? Its still her body so she still can have threesomes with others while being with him n nit tell the partner about it, because its her body. Is'nt it?

[Joe814]

86 her! Good bye! No integrity, no self respect, she has to know respect to give you any. Don't give her a second chance to loose her conscience again and give you a special gift...STD. Good luck man, girls really can stink sometimes.

[Joe814]

Who has the best answer?

[Quadrophonic84]

If you stayed with her then you've got more empathy than me. I could never date someone a buddy had his c*ck in, not even thinking of two... And so recent? That's quite a girl you have on your hands there.

[themastaplan]

dude, she was DP'd by your boys?

this is a simple question to help you decide, unless you alreayd have by this point (I am a month late!)

Q: can you get over the fact that this girl slept with 2 of your "circle of friends" at the same time.

A: if you can't ever get it out your head and EVERY time you all hang out or see one of the three and all you can think about is the 3some, then I'd recommend not dating her

it all comes down to if you can forget something that happened in someones past - just because she slept with both of them at the same time doesn't mean she doesn't love you...but if its going to be a issue for a long time and you can potentially see yourself getting upset/hurt over the past then you need to just end it - my suggestion would be to get involved with a girl who you know nothing about, who knows nothing about you, so there are no assumptions or f'd up stuff like this going through your head

good luck man

[koushikshine]

Great. His feeling are also important along with hher

[syringabird]

Well, I guess it can be really weird to be with someone who slept with one (or even two) of your friends before. (btw when they’re morons, and you seem to dislike them, why are they your friends?)

On the other hand… everybody has a right to have a sexual past. Nothing wrong with that.

If you can’t handle the whole situation I guess is best and only fair to break up with her.

[Asker]

They are my friends, but there the friends at the but end of every joke. I'm sure you have friends like that, the ones you want to punch every now and then for being the R word. Thanks for your input tho!

[FrancoBattiato]

Some of my best friends are morons

[Buckminsterfuller]

hope you dumped her. I think that grimy but esp because she wasn't up front about it.

[katiesmuff]

So we should tell our guys everyone we slept with before they came along? I don't think so! If she was single and free she could pull a train with about 50 guys if she wanted and it would be legit!

[Buckminsterfuller]

wow lol cud people explain why they disagree. I dnt mind everyone has the right to their opinion but I'm juss curious.

[jenni_ms]

@ katiesmuff it's not that we're obligated to tell them everyone we sleep with, but if it is his FRIENDS then you should. That's really where it became a problem for him I'm sure. Example: How would you feel if all your friends knew your boyfriend had sex with your sister 2 months before starting to date you and he didn't bother to say anything. I know this is an extreme example but I'm just trying to make the point that it wasn't two strangers that she slept with.

[Buckminsterfuller]

girls don't have to tell guys everything about their past but if you are starting a relationship with someone I think its wrong to lie about having slept with their friends because they have a right to know that at least.

[lucyskala]

i think katiesmuff is confused, I agree with not having to tell a guy everything about your sexual past, that's totally private and he doesn't need to know, HOWEVER if his own friends have been involved he should know, he found out anyway, how embarrassing is that? It was actually stupid not to tell him when it was with people he knew, guys are worse than girls when it comes to kiss and tell.

[koushikshine]

@katiesmuff And the boy too has the right now to chose person who has different thinking then his... so no one should manipulate anyone by hiding serious things. She has nothing to lose here and rnjoyed it. But now for her deeds, this husband/boyfriend has to go through humiliatiin in front of everyone. He too does'nt deserve this

[iSkydive]

To be honest, I'd dump her because having a threesome with 2 guys and then entering into a relationship with one of their friends just doesn't scream "high quality woman" to me...

[ALWAYSclassy]

Drop her! She's a ho, any girl that goes through a group of friends like that doesn't care too much about her reputation and probably lacks a lot of self respect. Do you really want to cupcake the girl your friends smutted out?

I do think a woman should keep her business to herself, but it's a lack of respect to the guy to be smiling in your boyfriend's face knowing you've been passed around by 2 of his friends. You can do better.

[sumina7]

If you had known this would you have gone into a relationship with her? If not then there is no future unless you want her because she is sexually adventurous.

[Mudpuppy]

I would dump her. It's kind of odd to date a girl your friends have gangbanged and makes you look like a douche to date the towns bike (if you see what I mean)

On the bright side you've only dated for 3 months and if you end it now you'll keep your self respect in tact.

[ky_monsterr]

I don't think you should dump her. Of course it's your choice. However, she didn't cheat on you, it was before you and her became a pair. BUT I do think she should've been up front about it. Hopefully , you've expressed the importance of communication? If so, keep her around and see how you guys grow and learn from each other. If you truly care for her, you wouldn't dump her over something she did while she was single.

Hope this helps!

Ky

[katiesmuff]

Such a good answer! Welcome to the real world

[ericneo]

If you had HIV "BEFORE" you had sex with someone then under a court of law there is no way they are going to listen your "past is the past" non sense for attempted murder.

[eldamien]

Dump her. That's a big secret to keep from someone. She obviously doesn't feel the same way about you as you do about her. You're spinning your wheels with this one. Dump That Loser (DTL) and No Contact (NC) for at least six months. Find a girl that respects you cos unless you end it now I don't see this ending well for you.

[Prayerwood]

"Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful -- provided you get between the right man and the right woman." - - Woody Allen

[Sapphires4Life]

All up to you, dude. If I were in your shoes, I'd dump her though...

[katiesmuff]

So it has been a couple of months. What did you do with this chick? I'm a bit confused why you were so upset anyway. She wasn't dating you at the time and was getting herself taken care of with these other two guys which she had every right to do. She didn't cheat on you and she sure was not obligated to tell you of the trist.

Actually when a guy starts dating a girl it is none of his business who she was f*cking before him. If that is a problem for guys they should just stay celibate

[lucyskala]

she had every right to do it but they were people he knew, she should have told him. If no one he knew was involved THEN she has every right not to tell him, but she's humiliated him in front of people he knows.

[katiesmuff]

I don't beleive you need to reveal your sexual past to anyone girl or guy with the exception of your medical professional in case of a problem. This was 2 months before she even began dating this guy, even his friends said nothing and that is where you would expect it to come from. What makes her a "ho"? Because she may lead a sex life different from yours or what YOU consider normal. Everybody is so quick to judge, especially those of you at an age where you are just beginning to learn.

[koushikshine]

Yes people should not judge anyone from their acts... not even murderers n rapists... because their feelings are more important then the innocent ones

[katiesmuff]

@koushikshine We are not talking criminal acts here you dumbass! We are just talking about single non attached people having the freedom to have sex with whomever we please and not be expected to tell future relationship partners.

[koushikshine]

How long is this freedom n what is its upper limit? Can she sleep arounf after marriage too? Why not, coz she still has freedom... n its her body still n husband does'nt own her according to "ultra moderns' like you. So, she can sleep around after marriage too and not tell her husband because its her business and she has right to privacy. If the husband complains that his wife still sleeps around after marriage then he is insecured, dominent and your special word "dum.. ss". Is'nt it? Nd yes she does'nt need to sleep with her husband though, coz the husband does'nt owe anything from his wife... again if he complains then he is dominant, "dum.. ss". If sleeping around is a good thing why will it become bad after marriage, coz marriage does'nt turn a good thing into bad suddenly. N yes she can divorce the husband too if sge gets bored of him, like she dumped her exes after getting bored so tgat she could find another partner. Nice excuse to sleep around.

[koushikshine]

And as there is freedom , why she needs to worry because she will always get the support of some people "ultra moderns". Who will again support the wife if she cheats and blame the husband by saying "may be he is not good enough, so she chose to cheat him", so she will always enjoy her life as she has nice excuses and people to back her

[katiesmuff]

@koushikshine Are you actually this stupid or are you just trying to entice raging comments about your ignorance. I know nothing about the way of life in your third world home, but in my culture nobody owns anybody, as long as you are not in a monogamous relationship or marriage we are free to sleep with whom ever we please, but one we have committed ourselves to another person that is the end of the casual sex.

[koushikshine]

But is it that easy to switch from that "sleeping around " lifestyle to monogamous lifestyle which her body is used to it? How long will she hold herself as her habits (sleeping around) will try to govern. N as she also might have promised her exes but dumped them after getting bored, then how can a husband be sure she will not get bored again n leave him as her actions speaks louder than words? Yes , the husband can marry such person but he has to keep praying all the time that she does'nt get bored this time and does'nt leave him if someone well endowed or better partner approaches her. N breaking up is not a big deal for her as she has done it several times, so divorcing (which is again a form of break up) will also not be any big deal. And yes, the husband does'nt own her and also not owe her anything. So she is free to sleep around as she has nothing to fear

[oasis]

like what anonymous user write. its the pass move on. if she like you a lot and you like her a lot then that's it..

i also was with someone who had interesting life style .she did fill me in one day I didn't even ask. she wanted to tell me one day how she had different life style and e I told her straight out that doesn't matter alright what's in the pass is in the pass. and I kiss her. and poof she hug me. alright so just let it be. if it bugs you then fine move on. but don't think less of her one bet. cause I didn't think less about my ex. even though I knew what she did with who back then. and I know those people I move on cause I care for her and she care for me

[pearl1979]

It was in her past but the problem is it was with your friends. I don't date people who have slept with my friends but that's me.. anyways sumthin like this can eat you up or not.. if its going to eat up better to break up..

[dudeman]

a few months is not the past the past is like ten years ago that's the past

[pearl1979]

ok then that was recent ...if I were you I dump her

[gummybear888]

I'd go 'good bye' see you later? there would be no debate. f*** if I knew my boyfriend had a 3some with two of my girl friends, they'd all hear some sh*t from me and banned from having any interactiong with me.

[SonicBoomBoom]

are you sure you wouldn't want to have a foursome with them ;)

[rachel_myers]

She did it BEFORE you got together...who cares. If you dump her for that reason, in my opinion you would be a jerk and very immature. Did you have sex with anyone before you two got together?

[redmenace]

It won't be immature. It's his feelings. If he can't see past this, no one can blame him. Now, if he knew about this PRIOR to getting into a relationship with her then that would make him a jerk, yes. Just put yourself in his shoes: How would you feel if you found out your closest girl friends had a threesome with your man? I'm sure you would have doubts about your relationship then too.

[rachel_myers]

I don't base my feelings, judge my relationships with anyone based on things that happened BEFORE I became involved with them. It's not fair to the person you are involved with.

[Tamikaze]

I get what you are saying but this isn't like getting with a girl knowing she had previous relationships. Some guys are just not into a girl who would have a threesome with 2 guys. It only gets worse that everyone around him knows his girl did this. A lot of guys would never consider a girl who did this as girlfriend material. You can think that is wrong, but we all have a right to be with a partner that fits what we are looking for.

[Allupinyah]

I agree with Tamikaze, it depends on the person if they could deal with it or not. It comes down to your pride, ethical viewpoints, how they want to viewed by others, and how they want the people around them to carry themselves.. Yes, some people won't care about someone's sexual past, but there are others that would be offended and upset by it.

[Asailum]

pff you guys are retarded, rachel is spot on about this. Something that happens before your relationship is irrelevant, and its extremely stupid and immature to try and hold it against her. The reality is this guy is just a fu.cking pansy and is taking out his emo bullsh*t on his girlfriend.

[Zell16]

@Asailum You are a short-sighted fool. She hid it from him. He started dating her under the assumption that she has never done such an act. If he knew about it before he started going out with her he would not have gone out with her in the first place. Anyway, Rachel looks like the kinda girl who would have two guys inside her at once so obviously she would comment in such a way and defend the girlfriend. You are just being a insensitive dumb sh*t. Don't post witless comments.

[rachel_myers]

Excuse me Zell16, you troll. You don't know me or what I would or wouldn't do, so your comment is uncalled for. You want to disagree, then fine disagree, dont' make personal assessments based on someone's appearance, it may come back to bit you in the a$$.

[Zell16]

For your information, this isn't a trolling attempt. Actually you can tell a lot from a person's appearance, since it's there choice to dress how she wants and the way she outwardly presents herself i.e. there are key markers. Whatever you think is going to bite me in the ass is just imaginary idea that you somehow concocted in your mind.

[ap1100]

I do think he shouldn't get too upset about it, but if he dumps her, maybe it's just an admission that it won't work for him. That doesn't mean it's judging, or else we'd ALL be guilty of judging every time we rejected someone or ended a relationship. Not judging is a two-way street; calling him a jerk is pretty harsh (and ironically JUDGMENTAL). If he can't judge her then she can't judge his decision, nor can you.

[ap1100]

I'm not saying Rachel is like this, but I wouldn't at all be surprised if she get creeped out by a guy having too many partners. Many of the girls I dated like to have the "awkward talk" about past relationships and then use it to judge. I had a girl recently say 15 months after ending an engagement was too soon to date and dumped me. So much for not judging. My guess is Rachel (and my girl) would also judge me for "having fun" with six girls in that 15 months.

[rachel_myers]

Then you would be very wrong about me ap1100.

[ericneo]

If you had HIV "BEFORE" you had sex with someone then under a court of law there is no way they are going to listen your "past is the past" non sense for attempted murder.

[koushikshine]

If he did'nt have sex with anyone then? N so he would be jerk for dumping her for this reason , n she is right to hide such things and having her boyfriend go through such humiliation in front of everone for her choices? He did'nt deserve such humiliation for her choices

[koushikshine]

@Asailum yes, so the boyfriend shuld go through such humiliation in front of his friends forever, for no fault of his... that is right?