Sexual Health
+1 y

She told me I'm a tad too big.

I'm honestly in shock. I'm not being boastful. I'm not trying to brag. But my girlfriend just recently told me two nights ago that she's sorry but she can't handle me size wise because I'm to large for her parts. Like I said I'm not bragging. Its dam near embarrassing for me we have plans to get engaged openly at a family dinner. She's talked to since and she still loves me. But she said the sex thing would have to be scaled down or put off until we decide we want kids. But shell still perform oral. Or hand jobs. I feel bad. I guess big isn't better. I've suggested feeling it out and trying until she stretches some but it hurts her to much. And she won't let me get a reduction.what should I do
Updates:
+1 y
Ok. Like I said. To the idiot ass bags. My fiance isn't using it as an excuse. So stop saying that or suggesting it. We have sex on a regular basis. Probably ...twice a day. And a lot of four playinbetween. She loves me. I'm simply just to big for her
+1 y
O MY GOD YOU PEOPLE ARE FUXXIN RETARDED. I SAID. SHE LOVES ME. AND SHE LOVES HAVING SEX WITH ME. BUT AFTER ABOUT 15 MIN. IT STARTS HURTING HER. SHE CARES ABOUT ME, OUR RELATIONSHIP. AND OUR SEX LIFE. but to those who made actual sense . THANK YOU.
0 0

Most Helpful Guys

  • Well, did she have lots of sex with you before she mentioned this, or was it kind of consistently few and far between? I have a similar problem every once in a while when a girl can't handle my size, yet I generally find out the first time we do it as they get a bit frantic while I ease in and ask me to be very gentle or I notice based on their reaction.

    So it is possible like Distant said that she is using it as an excuse to no longer have sex with you as it seems you are getting engaged, so why bother to try anymore right? (some womens' and mens' mentality after the ring gets put on). So just be careful man. She could just have a low sex drive and is using your size as an excuse to just say no instead of telling you the truth.

    • I didn't mean to offend, you were just lacking some information. If she won't let you get a reduction, then I honestly don't know what you should do. One of my exes was extremely tight and I couldn't fit without hurting her either. I guess it is just one of those things that you will have to deal with in the relationship.

  • Just goes to show you that not all women are the size. If things don't work out with your girlfriend, you can try dating women here -- there are plenty who will be able to handle your size. In fact, there are several women here who will only date men of your size. Good luck.

Most Helpful Girls

  • I had the same problem once. Penetration worked if I was very excited but it hurt a bit. I used my fingers to stretch it out. A little every day. It hurt a lot but after a few weeks it was OK and then there was almost no pain. We always had to take it slow in the beginning, which can be annoying, but then it worked and was completely painless.

    If she really cared about your relationship she would do something to help. Just cutting back on sex will not help anything.

    • She does care about the relationship. I never said eshe didn't. We use lube every time. And she always tries to be as relaxed as possible. But it just hurts. Usually the longest she can handle me before she says sorry babe and we finish by oral is 15 min. We don't like quickies. If she didn't care about the relationship she wouldnnt be openly saying she'll marry me at a family dinner. So read the post bette before making assumptions.

    • I saw in your question that she seems very committed to you, but enduring 15 min of pain and then saying lets just not do it anymore and not try to find a solution to the problem, she must not care about sex or your intimate relationship that much.

  • I might have this problem (my boyfriend is big, I'm tight, and we haven't tried sex yet). If he can't get it in, my plan is to just finger myself or have him finger me until I "open up" a little bit more. And use lube. It also helps SO much more than you'd think just to have her be really turned on and relaxed. If she's nervous, the muscles can clench up and make it like Fort Knox down there.

    • Her tightness is... I don't know about average. We always take it easy. And she always stays relaxed. Its just usually if she rides or I'm in her for more than 15 minutes she says it hurts. She even tries to push through it because she wants to get off but its to painful for her. We use lube.. we've tried stretching. She a pfretty tiny girl as well.. idk.

  • I would say also lots of lube to help, patience and tender loving sex. Positions like doggy or cowgirl would prob be too painful so maybe stick to missionary for a while. After she gets used to it she will realize big **** = big orgasms!

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 3

  • Sounds to me like the best excuse ever to stop having frequent sex. Especially, since she won't let you get a reduction. I guess, the best thing to do would be to leave penetrative sex out of the equation and have a lot more foreplay. When you do end up having sex, take it really easy on her.

    ~Distant

  • Eventually a baby will fit through there so it is nonsense to think it won't stretch. Might get her a dildo that is the same size so she can practice stretching at her own pace.

    • Of course it stretches.And I bet all women want to feel like they're giving birth every time they have sex ;D

    • You have sex with guys with d***s as large as babies?

    • I never siad it won't stretch ya dope. I'm just saying we have been trying yet it still hurts.

  • I was in something of the same boat with my ex. Just getting to any decent pace could take as much as ten minutes of easing it in, even after extensive foreplay. My best suggestion to you is more foreplay, and also to try and include some fingering in with that foreplay. Putting fingers in and getting her a little stretched helped ease her pain some, but past that, it's a matter of her riding it out or you finding some other alternative.

  • I disagree with the lads, yes it may be an "excuse" but I think it is genuine that it does hurt, My ex was so big I HATED sex with him, it felt horrible having sex. It's strange though because at first I was petrified at the size of it so we had to do positions that would prevent it going up so far, missionary being one of them.

    After a while though I was able to ride him, think my insides got used to being poked so much by such a big cock!

  • I've had this problem aswell it's very embarrassing for you and shell be very embarrassed to. Try using a lot of lube, go really slowly and try make her relax the more worried she is the tgnter shel be (I'm a bit better now and have sex with my boyfriend more it only hurts a little bit now but it's a lot better than it used to be!)

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