Is my boyfriend still attached to his ex?

[Anonymous]

So here's some quick details. My boyfriend was in a relationship with his ex from about 5 years. They broke up in 2008 and haven't spoken a word to each other or seen one another since. He was single up until just may of last year when we started dating. So a few months ago I was on his computer and a ended up in the recycling bin. In the bin I found 4 pictures of his ex naked. I was so upset I looked through his history to see when he downloaded them. As I found when it was I noticed he was looking at p*rn right before he came across the pictures. So I confronted him about it. He told me that he was in an old email he had and saw an unread email from her (it was just an old one that he hadn't opened) she opened it and saw that pictures were attached and he wanted to see what they were. So he clicked the "download all button" He said he was not masturbating to them and that his p*rn session didn't even go anywhere due to interruptions. I told him I believed him and I did at the time.. although I was still a bit skeptical of his story. So today I went on his computer to get some recent pictures of us. I couldn't find them anywhere so decided to check the recycling bin to see if they were there. and behold I come across two more pictures or her and him in the nude together. Now I would love to approach him again and ask him what happened this time. I would love to hear his reasons. But I'm afraid that he's going to throw into my face again how "I was snooping" and turn the situation all on me. when in reality I really wasnt. I just think it is so disrespectful for me to find such things when I am happy and so committed to him. So my question is, does this mean he is still emotionally attached to her? Other wise why would he keep looking at these pics. On top of all this our sex life for the past 5 months or so has not be the way it used to be. He hasn't once asked me for a quicky before work and most weeks we have sex once. I just don't know if I should ask him about the pictures or not.

[Anonymous]

Having found more pictures since the first time you confronted him about it, I would be suspicious too. Regardless of whether or not you should be looking at his computer, I personally don't think it's okay for him to be downloading pictures of his ex naked- especially his ex naked WITH HIM- now that he is with you. P*rn is one thing, his exes are another. I do think it suggests some type of inappropriate attachment to her which is disrespectful to you. I recommend confronting him about it again and telling him how it makes you feel.

If they are in his recycle bin from a long time ago, that's one thing. But if they were placed in his recycle bin recently just to hide them, that's inappropriate. I don't think that's the type of thing that happens multiple times accidentally.

[Asker]

Yea p*rn is one thing.. I don't care if he looks at that when I'm not there ect. However the pictures in the recycling bin are recent. His computer is brand new so the pictures were downloaded from his email and then deleted.

[Opinion Owner]

In that case, I definitely think you're right to be suspicious. If he truly had no interest in seeing his ex in the nude, the situation would not have happened multiple times.

[Asker]

Yeah so I ended up talking to him (this happened last week) and he told me that he was looking for his tax info from last year (which he was I was helping him with that) he was searching the attachments in his email and thought it could have been good pictures of them (meaning like of pets or a group picture ect). He also said if he wanted to hide something from me he would remove it. He is a VERY busy person and he told me he doesn't have time to look at that stuff

[Asker]

I believe him to a degree, however I'm still very skeptical. The same thing happening 2 times.. 5 different pictures, and similar stories. Doesnt seem too normal to me. I think things will work out after we had our convo however I'm still a little unsure. Like I stated in my comments down below, I can really undertsand wanting to know how she is doing ect. But I just think something is a little wrong with the whole incident.

[38rakia38]

You really need to stop snooping on his computer.

And you really need to calm down over the photos...

Look, photos are photos, think of it like p*rn--only with people you know. Him looking at it has 0 to do with you or her and has everything to do with rubbin one out.

If I were him, I'd learn to hide my p*rn better...

[Asker]

ok for one I wasn't snooping I was looking for photos that belonged to me. He is known for deleting stuff on accident as well as on purpose so he doesn't fill up his hard drive. So I checked there to see if that's what happened. secondly, his relationship with her ended in 2008 and not on good terms. He was going through a very hard time in his life and just stopped talking to her (he didn't have a phone either) and once she got a hold of him she told him not to talk to her ever again and they

[38rakia38]

The point is, whatever his pictures and other stuff on his computer belongs to him. Whether it's p*rn or pictures of his ex, what business to do you have looking through them? Then getting pissed because he still has them.

[Marrryyyyy]

oh babe.i know you want it to work, but it just looks like he's a) lying to you b) making excuses and c) blaming it on you when he's in the fault.
talk to him, state how you feel and hope for the best..

[Asker]

Continued from above: And they haven't spoken since. I can understand wondering how she's doing and what she has done with her life since may be interesting to him, But I have seen that he has looked her up multiple times on facebook as well as google. However I don't think he would talk to her no matter how bad he wants to know how she's doing. he takes things seriously and when she said "never talk to me again" he doesn't plan on it.

[Marrryyyyy]

ok I just fel like he obviously is still attached to her.

[CapnBlack]

first of all...guys emotions aren't connected to p*rnographic images...and what's with the recycle bin? everyone keeps nostalgia...it really depends on the purpose of looking at it. if you keep finding ex pics in the recycle then it sounds like he's actually going and deleting things which is REALLY commendable..maybe he was looking at them for a last time, who cares you found them in the recycle. 5 years you say? as far as the past 5 months...not a good sign is there some other issues here?

[Asker]

His computer is brand new so the pictures in the recycling bin are down loaded from his email