Sexual Health
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I fantasize of having sex with other men...

Is it normal that I fantasize of having sex with other men? I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years and a half. We are in a pretty healthy relationship at the moment. We have sex regularly, and I'm very satisfied. He's the third guy I've been with in bed and is the best of the three. Why is it that I'm satisfied with our sex life already but I imagine myself having sex with other men? Girls? Do any of you do this? or guys? Do guys fantasize of having sex with other women other than their girlfriends? I'm worried!
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Most Helpful Guys

  • That's a good question. Usually, fantasies are things we usually can't do and couldn't do even if those things were available to us. Let's say for example having a fantasy of hooking up with some movie star, sports hero or celeb. Other types might be doing stuff not at all possible like someone we see often but they're totally unavailable and won't ever be to us. Usually fantasies are sexually stimulating in some way and can probably be thoughts we've had previously or thoughts that temps us to stray because of the attraction of the forbidden. We are humans of curiosity like the grass is greener on the other side of the fence syndrome. Things we can't have look appetizing and can be very appealing to us because of our nature. Eve probably fantasized about how good the "apple" looked that she was forbidden to eat. lol! I think the main thing to do if you fantasize about things you shouldn't be having is to hurry and do something else that will occupy your mind to displace those thoughts, and to do that every time until they become less and less. If you truly don't want to do those things then your fantasies should stay well under your control. But if you do have a secret desire to explore those other men fantasies then eventually that's probably what you will do. Napoleum Hill said, "We become what we think about." So be careful how much you allow yourself to fantasies on certain things. If you control your fantasies, then you have no problem.

  • wow this was posted a year ago but I want to add my two sense...ok look when I have sex with my girlfriend its HER that's on my mind...when I close my eyes its still HER, I try to not close my eyes because I'm so overtaken by her body at the moment...now when I masturbate sure I fantasize about the girl on the screen at that moment...but to be honest, since I broke up with my ex I fantasize about her more so then I do the girl on the screen...our sex life was crazy and we always had fun...you've got to find that emotional attraction and feeling during sex and you won't think of anyone but that person...when you masturbate sure its different and you fantasize about the situation ur watching...i don't think its fair to your boyfriend/girlfriend to think of someone else WHILE having sex with them...it just doesn't sit right...you should want to have sex with your boyfriend/girlfriend and want their body and that physical emotional attraction...other than that sure its ok to think what it would be like as long as its not while you're having sex because technically its like you wishing that person was there...not fair

Most Helpful Girls

  • I didn't start fantasizing about other men until I finally realized my man really didn't care about my needs or satisfaction. I started thinking about what I wanted to do to other men and what I wanted them to do to me. I have been with my man for seven and a half years now and it hasn't gotten better like I had expected it to. He ignores my needs more than ever so I think about other men fulfilling those needs. All the time. Even though you may tell yourself you are satisfied with your sex life you may still be curious. Plus fantasies are just that, fantasies. I wouldn't worry unless you get real life urges to act on them.

    • Very well said! We can have friends and still respect our relationships. My problem is that I can't picture my friend(s) face when I'm having sex. Why is that I can't cross the line from friend to sex? "J"

    • Yeah, because those kind of girls are dirty whores.

  • I'm in a perfectly happy, perfectly healthy relationship. But he tends to fantasize about Angelina Jolie and I fantasize about other guys. It's normal, just your body expressing that, while you love the person you are with, you are still attracted to others of the opposite gender. It's not a problem until the fantasies take over your life, like if you would rather masturbate with a fantasy before having sex with him all the time.

  • Everyone fantasizes during sex. It's no reflection on your relationship or sex life and is a lot safer than cheating. It's totally healthy and if it helps you get off, then by all means, fantasize away.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Yes. It's nothing to be worried about, just human nature. In fact, it's probably unhealthy not to act on the urge and let it fester.

  • Lol, I have never once masturbated while thinking of my girlfriend. Any girlfriend. Ok, maybe I have, but 99 percent of the time, I'm thinking about a girl I have never penetrated before. Don't even worry about it. Perfectly normal to do so.

  • Fantasy life is just part of being human. No big deal.

    At least you stay within your species.

  • It's just a fantasy! Relax! It's completely normal. And yes, I DO have a girlfriend and I always fantasize about having sex with someone other than her. It's normal, relax, live it up.

  • yes very healthy

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