Is sending naughty pictures of yourself to other guys cheating?

[Anonymous]

when me and my boyfriend started going out we had an amazing time, and the sex was great! now after it's been so long I find he is less interested in me.. and I don't feel as confident as I used to be with him, I find him watching p*rn rather then having sex with me and I can't bare the thought of dressing up or striping for him after knowing he would rather watch someone else do it. So because he gets to look at girls I find it only fair to send naughty pictures of myself to other guys. some of the guys I know from school are always asking... would you see that as cheating? details please!

[tom-tom-traveler]

He's watching professionally produced p*rn, correct? If so, then he's watching strangers having sex and showing themselves off to other strangers and getting off to it. Outside of possibly soiling a sock, towel, etc. he's not getting personally involved in the moment with the other participants.

You, on the other hand, are sharing nude images of yourself with people that you know, some of whom may even be friends with your boyfriend. The impartiality of p*rn doesn't enter here because you're choosing your audience and as such you know who is looking at you and most likely why they're looking. It is a conscious and willful decision on your part to exhibit yourself.

I'm not judging either of you for what you do; nude images have their place and so does p*rn. Many couples even enjoy watching the latter together. But it should be pointed out that there is an order of magnitude difference between what he's doing and what you're doing.

Unless you're in a open relationship to begin with, your boyfriend would definitely see it as cheating . And if mutual friendships are involved, those could be poisoned by this as well.

[Asker]

what if I sent them to strangers? would that make a difference?

[elliesaur]

Try chatroulette if you really want to be stared at by strangers, but wouldn't a new boyfriend be a better option?

[tom-tom-traveler]

Sending the picture to me or anyone else probably wouldn't make a difference if you did so without letting him know about it first. He may still see it as a breach of his trust, because you are still personalizing the issue by exhibiting yourself. Someone else suggested watching p*rn to even the scales. That would be a more fitting (pardon the pun) tit-for-tat.

[Asker]

well he's not just watching p*rn, he watching p*rn instead of f***ing me.

[christian2724]

Depends on the guy. Personally I think there's a huge difference between looking at p*rn and taking pictures of yourself for other men. Fair would be you looking at p*rn too. You've just one-upped him bigtime. I'm not sure I'd consider it cheating myself. If you were doing this behind my back and I found out about it - your ass would be gone. Sounds very underhanded and dishonest. Would destroy a lot of trust. Say what you want about p*rn, but he doesn't hide it from you. There could be a number of reasons he's lost interest in you. In general men look at p*rn. You should have talked to him. Not pull this sh*t.

[Asker]

I should have mentioned I did talk to him about the p*rn thing. The part I didn't like was that he knew it was destroying our sexual relationship and he continued to do it. If I told him I wanted to send picture of myself to someone else do you think that would be better?

[christian2724]

There is absolutely no need for you to do what you're doing. I'm amazed some guys are like this, they'll look at p*rn, or play video games instead of f***ing their girls. Just walk up to him when he's watching p*rn and say you can have me, or the p*rn. If he picks the p*rn again. Dump him.

[b_luvedbaby]

If it's such a problem then break up. How would you feel if he was sending or receiving pics with girls that he actually COULD hook up with? Probably a lot worse than you do about him looking at p*rn. Besides, you're degrading yourself...

[Asker]

Well he has looked at pictures that his friends girlfriends sent them. He doesn't want to break up, I've talked to him. and besides it's not about getting back at him, it's something I want to do. I work really hard to look the way I do, should I be able to know someone desires me?

[b_luvedbaby]

It's a shady world. Period. My boyfriend's friend showed him a picture of his girlfriend naked too and my boyfriend said it was a really weird thing for him to do. My boyfriend looks at p*rn sometimes too. Actually, we've watched it together before. If I were you, I would start working on your relationship. Find out why he doesn't seem as interested. It should be him that you want to be desired by. You haven't technically cheated on him, but you're going down the path that leads to that.

[Asker]

interesting perspective. thank you.

[b_luvedbaby]

I want to add that the reason my boyfriend said that it was weird that his friend showed him the picture was (his words) "Why would a guy want another guy to look at his naked girlfriend?"...I'm sure your boyfriend doesn't want another guy looking you. Just like you wouldn't want another girl looking at him...right? If I'm wrong, then you guys really need to break up.

[Asker]

well I don't want him choosing to look at another girl over being with me either. so it's kinda a lose lose.

[Distant]

Yes, it's cheating. He's looking at a professional and you're letting them look at YOU. It's not debatable.

~Distant

[Asker]

But clearly he doesn't value me or my body. don't I deserve to have someone appreciate what I work so hard for?

[Distant]

Simply find another boyfriend. You shouldn't be showing your 'naughty' self to anyone but your significant other. Unless you're an adult model/actress. ~Distant

[CuriousEddie]

Are you trying to just get back at him, or do you really want to flirt with a guy online?

You can flirt quite a bit without sending photos, which you might regret later.

[Asker]

I flirt with people all the time (online and otherwise) so does he. I want to send photos because that's the area we are having problems in, I don't need to know how great I am as a person I want to be looked at lol I know it sounds stuck up but it's the truth.

[CuriousEddie]

Okay, send me the photos... Oh, I mean "him". ;)

[Belgie]

Cheating? No, but it's sh*tty behaviour.

Just because he's watching p*rn, you send naughty pics to people?

That's pretty f***ing low.

You should just break up.

[Asker]

He doesn't want to break up yet he doesn't want to give up p*rn. If he really cares he will understand.

[DonMichelle]

Maybe, ask him see what he says :)

[sikoo31]

yeah its cheating, if you really have to resort to those kind of things, you both have some growing up to do.

first of all, you should talk to him and let him know you don't like him doing that. its the first thing you should have done, you would have only had a problem if he kept doing it.

and personally, if I found out that you were sending pics of you to other guys, I'd leave you just for that. and I wouldn't look at p*rn if my girl didn't want me to.

[Asker]

I already talked to him about the p*rn thing, It wasn't that he was doing it. It was that he was doing it while I was around. and I've thought about asking him about sending photos of myself to other guys, do you think it would be smarter to ask him?

[sikoo31]

well if he won't stop, and its really making you unhappy, maybe you should think about taking a break from each other. but yeah, asking him would be good, though I can almost guarantee it'll offend him. but then you can just say "well that's how I feel about you watching p*rn too" that should make him think.

[Asker]

Thanks, your advice was helpful.

[sikoo31]

you're welcome. let me know if you have more Q's.