Girls, how long does sex usually last?

[Anonymous]

I've only been with one man so I don't know how long is "normal" for a guy to last. My guy can last a few minutes, but can rarely last long enough for me to get off. Even when we go a second or third time. I can usually only get there if he's drunk so he lasts a while. Outside of this, our relationship is perfect. But I won't lie, it's caused a strain. We've had many discussions about it and how sex usually just becomes a frustrating experience for me since I never get off from it but I'm fully capable of it. I just need it to go longer than a few minutes. Ladies, what's been typical of your man or men you have been with? How long do they last during actual penetration? Is this a normal problem in relationships?

[pandaninja]

well sex is usually around an hour or so, and I know this sounds crazy especially with like you said the average being aroun 5-10 minutes but that only really applies if a guy just sticks it in and ounds away fro his own satisfaction, when guys are consiensly trying to get the girl off I guess they stop paying so much attention to their own pleaseure so they last abit longer also calculating time in between position changes, foreplay, and time spent in positions where it is especally difficult to finish (its a f***er to come in lotus for guys) the actuall lasting of sex becomes longer, also if they guy is just slightly drunk he will lose sensitivity and it will make him last longer I mean I have only ever had drunk sex once but it lasted like three hours it was pretty crazy, just don't get him too drunk at that point he might not even be able to get it up, and uhhh oh yea there are also sprays lubes you can buy that will decrease his sensetivity abit so he lasts longer

[cjwright79]

My understanding is that sex is such a sordid, vile, hateful business that you want it to be over with as soon as humanly possible. If it's under 30 seconds you can count yourself blessed. Now it's just another 9 months of morning sickness, cramps, and decreased mobility before giving birth to another horrible little monster who will hate his life and himself with zeal by 16, while you descend into post-partum depression, weight gain, existential despair, mania, schizophrenia, dementia, and finally a coughing wheezing hacking death.

Thanks so much mom and dad for bringing me into this vapid, useless, pathetic world.

[yokosrei]

The sad thing is that it takes longer for women to get off than men. Few minutes is the norm and honestly a woman will hardly get off without the right amount of foreplay beforehand. I realized that when my current boyfriend wants to rush through and finishes before I do and I end up wanting to finish when he is too tired. So just get him to work you to the point you have to absolutely have to have him in you and once you actually get penetrated you are good to go. Still doesn't mean he should stop massaging down there though. And also try moves like doggy or put pillow under bum in missionary to better hit g spot.

BTW: If you could answer my question, I would appreciate it!

[Motorcycle_Girl]

As far as actual penetration goes, between 15-45 minutes has been the norm with the guys I've been with. More experienced men are usually much more interested in foreplay, which makes it much longer (and much more satisfying!). The average love making session with my fiancee is about an hour and a half, from the time we get naked to the time we're both done.

Most guys I have known that don't last long will help me finish with oral sex or even things like vibrators. Sounds like your guy just doesn't give a crap if you finish. :(

[Asker]

Well it's not that, he goes down on my every time to make sure I'm satisfied. He cares a lot. And actually broke down the other night because he says he just can't help finishing quick and feels like less of a man. It's kind of disappointing to hear thought that he can only handle penetration for like 5 minutes while most guys can go 15-45 so you say =/

[Motorcycle_Girl]

Well if he is satisfying you in other ways then it is hard to get mad at him. You can try things like using certain condoms and creams that cut down on a guy's sensitivity. You just have to decide how important sex is for you. Some girls would love a guy to hurry up and finish so they can move on with their day. :P You may just not be compatible.

[Anonymous]

My first boyfriend only lasted a few minutes every time, but I didn't really mind. If orgasm is the whole point of sex, why can't he just get you off a different way after HE'S done? There's fingering, oral, toys...

If it's really bothering him that he can't last longer, he could try using masturbation as practice.

link

link

[kgrrl2323]

are you the first person he's been with?

[Asker]

No I'm his 7th partner. But he admits that most of his sexual experience has been when he was drunk. Even with his past girlfriends. (He used to have a bit of a drinking problem). He can last forever when he's drunk. Now he's with me, I don't like him drinking like that. So I think I"m the first girl he's learned to have consistent sober sex with it.

[kgrrl2323]

do you go down on him during foreplay?

[Asker]

Sometimes. Usually not though because that causes him to come even faster once we have sex because it gets him worked up. And if I get him off first, it takes him like an hour to get it back up, and even then he can only last about the same amount of time.

[kgrrl2323]

it sounds like he has performance issues. you said he lasts longer even when you guys have drunk sex so maybe because he has issues with the soberness of things. he can really concentrate on the good feeling that he blows early. my suggest I guess would be is to have sex every day, more if you can so that he can get used to feelings of sex when he isn't drunk. alcohol numbs your body and makes your reation timing off by a lot. I think he's so used to not being able to feel much that when he's sober

[kgrrl2323]

it's a completely new and amazing feeling that he doesn't know what to do but just enjoy it like if he was drunk. which is like having sex with a virgin pretty much. a new feeling for them that they learn to get used to and learn to control their bodies so that they last longer. your boyfriend hasn't had that chance but in the meantime, he should help you out with other ways til you get the hang of things

[Asker]

Thanks so much that's great advice! I think that's exactly what is happening. Plus I'm sure the added anxiety of knowing he comes too fast can't be helping either. I'll try what you suggested and hope it improves things =)

[Shaun]

45 mins

[Asker]

Of actually penetration? Not including foreplay?

[Shaun]

Penetration. Why would I count foreplay?

[Shaun]

Update: some guys just have stamina. When I was 20 I'd go all night. Then again, sex was new to me, after 20 years, 45 minutes is plenty long enough.

[carlstatlin]

About 45 minutes sometimes a lot longer. depends on how long it takes for her to get off. I can hold it.

[jacquesvol]

Some guys can last so long, it bores the girl: link

Others can't get their wiener out of their pants in time.

[Lexknowsall]

maybe this could help you link

[Airirish]

i just started with lexapro and am enjoying sex a lot more. I was never a quick shot, now it is almost impossible so I just focus on her pleasure. Male satisfaction feeling the orgasm vibrations

[Anonymous]

If your man is young he won't last as long. If you're looking for orgasms just have him lick and finger you or use a toy to speed things up a bit. Don't let it stand in the way of the relationship if you're really into him because it does get better with time. Also, he might try smoking some weed. It makes my sh*t go for honestly hours banging out orgasm after orgasm. Try it. Its medicine now anyway.

[Anonymous]

It depends...if my man has been drinking it lasts for up to hours...if we have sex everyday it lasts for about 30mins...if we haven't had sex in a day or so, it lasts from 2mins-10mins..unless he tries hard to not finish...haha

[Anonymous]

It'll vary a lot from guy to guy. And guys tend to last longer as they get older. I can go for over 30 minutes if the girl I'm with wants me to. In fact, at this point I'd say I can go until I get physically tired from the f***ing. Anyway, can't he get you off with his hands or mouth after he cums? Or he should work you up a LOT and get you really close before he even gets in you.

[Asker]

He does get me off from his mouth, but orgasms from penetration are just so much better. It's frustrating for me that I can almost never have one. It seems the more worked up I get, the more he gets as well. As soon as I get close he cums, every time. Even when I've gotten him off a couple times first.

[Opinion Owner]

Hmmm. . . it's probably because your pu$$y is tightening around his c0ck when you get close. (That feels awesome by the way!) The extra stimulation is probably taking him over the edge. Are you using condoms? If not, have him wear one as it will reduce the sensation of being in you. Also, have him try the ones that are designed to make you last longer. They're either thicker or have a numbing thing on them. Have you tried that?

[Asker]

We have discussed using those but haven't tried it yet. We always use regular condoms though and the problem is still there =/ As for the numbing condoms, will it also numb me and make it harder for me to get off?

[Opinion Owner]

I don't know about numbing condoms. I've never used them, though I did get a couple for free in a pack of normal condoms. But like I said, I can last pretty much as long as I want so not an issue. How long do you want the penetration to last? Can you come from actively thrusting on his c0ck, or do you need to lay back and get pounded?

[jacquesvol]

the numbing product (usually procaine or lydocane) is on the INside of the condoms, not on the outside.

[Opinion Owner]

There you go then! Numb away!

[Opinion Owner]

Hahaha! Averages are just that! AVERAGES! There's a LOT of variation around the average. Just like with c0ck-size. Just because the average is whatever it is, it doesn't mean you don't have huge d*cks and tiny ones too! When those "averages" are compiled how did they come up with them? Are the guys wearing condoms or are they going bareback? How long have they been with their partners? How long since their last cum? How tight is she? How old are they? All of this matters! LOL!