I got raped and now I'm pregnant...what should I do?

Anonymous
I'm 21 and still in college. I got pregnant 5 months ago when I was raped by my ex boyfriend (who I was with for about 3 months a whole year before the rape). It was devastating for me and I nearly dropped out of college, I still am not completely over it (I have nightmares, panic attacks). He has been arrested and is awaiting trial - hopefully he will get sent to jail.

I haven't aborted the baby and I'm still pregnant with his child. That has been a really tough decision for me and I'm not sure if I've made the right choice as if he gets out of jail I'm worried he'll try and get visitation rights. I think I'd break down if I ever had to see him again but the baby is innocent in this.

To compound this my friends are treating me like a freak for keeping the baby and some are refusing to talk to me. I feel like I'm being made into a bad person when I'm just trying to do what I think is right. I don't know why people are treating me this way and I think it'll get worse once my son arrives.

I'm confused and I don't know what to do. Some people, including some friends, have suggested a late term abortion. I've gone this far with the pregnancy and although I hate the father I don't think my son is to blame. However I'm worried when I look at him I'll see his dad and end up resenting him too.

I don't want to get him adopted, I've lost friends already and I've been too upset to form another relationship after the rape so I can't have another person taken away from me. I don't now how I'm going to raise this baby though as I work part time and I'm still in college. My family aren't very supportive of my decision so far and want me to get an abortion, but I barely speak to them anyway.

I don't know whether to keep the baby or not, get him adopted, raise him myself. Someone please give me sensible advise considering everything I've mentioned. And don't judge me for (ideally) wanting to keep the baby, I've had enough of that already.
I got raped and now I'm pregnant...what should I do?
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