I read my boyfriend's facebook messages, now I don't know what to do with what I found?

[leahcar]

OK so I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost five months but we have known each other over a year. Things are going pretty well and haven't had any problems really. I've been staying at his place quite a lot and use his computer. He has his computer set up to where it automatically logs him into facebook and keeps his password so any time I go to facebook I have to log out of his and into mine. Today he left for work I was getting up and decided to check my fb his of course was logged in. So curiosity got the best of me and I hovered around the messages tab and then the first few pop up. one of the ones that popped up grabbed my attention so I went into the messages. The first one I saw was him messaging back and forth with this girl...first thing he said was something along the lines of "I meant what I said last night...sexy. and if it wasn't for Kyle or me not being single...well maybe if it wasn't for Kyle." Then they go back and forth about how this kyle guy was upset last night and he (my boyfriend) and her like to play around and then he said sorry if anyone got mad and she's like don't be sorry and he says well I'm not sorry about what I said I meant it...sexy. this was all sent the day after he went out for his birthday the night before. Then we have the next set of messages with another girl who he used to work with they were going back and forth about cuddling...they were catching up about what she's been doing and then he said something like how he guesses he missed his chance to cuddle with her. Then she says something about how maybe she needs someone to cuddle with... he says well if If it wasn't for me not being single...then she teases him saying how she doesn't believe he's in a relationship he assures her she is...then the next message is later someday at night her insinuating she wanted someone to cuddle and then says he missed his chance. He says damn just saw the message but wouldn't be able to just cuddle and not fondle her in a certain area. she says sure he can he can cuddle and just be a gentleman about it...he says its impossible for him to cuddle without fondling...blah blah blah. I have a hard time with these messages because it really hurts. and as a side note it has been a challenge to get him to have sex with me...we have once for a couple minutes then another time and he got all soft. we've done other things, foreplay like things. then I confront him about that a couple times and he says he doesn't know what's wrong but that he finds me extremely attractive and wants to have sex with me. then I see these type of messages. I hate that I looked in his messages but I hate even more that he has these type of conversations with people. I don't know what to do or how to go about confronting it. or if I should...I know if I don't I won't be able to stop thinking about it. Please help.

[taurene]

I hate saying this because I don't know either of you personally, but it really seems like he's not into you. He's into other girls but likes having you as a fallback. The reason why he might never be able to perform sexually with you is possibly out of the subconscious guilt that he's fooling around with a girl he's not interested in. I know this because I've played someone before. It wasn't good for either of us, so I suggest you being the stronger one and getting out like I did before it gets worse and harder to leave; because judging by what you said, he's not going to leave you until he's done a lot of damage.

[Delishous]

The way I see it is, you didn't trust him before you read these and you probably will never trust him after you read these. Trust is an easy thing to have but once you lose it, you'll never get it back. Find a man that wants to cuddle with you and let him be the one to tell you that he's glad he didn't miss the chance. You are well worth it and if they guy you are with now can't see that, it's about time you find one that will.

[kgrrl2323]

well it seems like you have a lot to think about. he's clearly talking to other girls and it's recent. sorry but you should be the only girl he talks like that to. yeah he didn't get with either of the two that he was talking dirty to but he shouldn't be talking dirty to any other person but you. get copies of his cheating words and shove them in his face and tell him you deserve better.only way to go out is with a bang.

[Impex]

He is deffinantly hiding something, obviously he's keeping his options open, that kind of converstaion between a guy and girl are bound to reach something else soon. I would start to confront him, don't say you read his facebook that's a breach of privacy and he will have something to say, but just act like he has been distant emotionally and if you are satisfying him emotionally and if there is anything "missing.

Try to bring out the truth, for it seems he may get into something with one of these girls, its wrong of him to talk like that to another woman anyways, that I would not stand for.

[l-hedoniste]

One of the reasons I don't snoop is so I don't find out things I don't want to know; relationships are hard enough without me discovering ways blow them up.

Case in point: you realize, don't you, that he REJECTED these two women. Two women he sent packing, on *your* behalf, and you're upset about this? Would it improve things if he were f*cking them?

If you're going to trust him, trust him. If not, dump him. He doesn't deserve this.

[juleslovesaaron]

It sounds like he is hiding something, If the relationship is really worth it I think you should talk to him about it. If he wants a long term relationship he can't be flirting around with every girl he talks to.

[creamcheese]

get rid of him. and get checked out because who knows what he picked up from the outside. what a dirt bag. sorry you don't deserve it. no body does

[Jesterface195]

Well, bottom line; you need to be straight up and confront him about it. I don't recommend staying with him because he'll just find ways to get around you even if you watch him closely ya get me?

[Anonymous]

aww he seems like a complete twat! and playing you stupid! you should confront him and walk out and leave him!

holding it inside will do no good

[Anonymous]

girly I would dump him. the only girl he should call sexy would be you and same with cuddling. its not OK he talks to girls like that. Find someone that trustworthy. your boyfriend does not seem to be that guy.

[Anonymous]

he's clearly still playing the field and doesn't see you two as serious. I don't have problems with reading facebook stuff. my husband is welcome to read mine or my phone messages any time he wants.

[Anonymous]

Dump him, he is a player. He is probably sleeping with other women. It will never work.

[Opinion Owner]

I am being harsh but dead honest, and sometimes it is best to just be direct and cut it off. You have known him for a year be happy you found this out sooner rather than later, imagine if you were married, etc..