Sexual Health
+1 y

My boyfriend masturbates next to me?

Normally, my boyfriend and I have sex at least once a day, maybe once in a while we'll skip a day or two, but we have a pretty healthy sex life. Just to keep in mind, a lot of the sex we do have, takes place in the morning when he first gets up. Lately, he's been pretty tired and sometimes falls asleep on me randomly because he has a physically stressing job, but there are times when I think he's fake falling asleep on me. It's almost like he thinks I don't know him well enough to know when he's faking? Anyway, last night we were having sex and he climaxed, but I wasn't done, so I asked him to finger me, and then he falls asleep on me! But literally, a few seconds before that I had accidentally brushed my leg on a scab on his hand, and he said 'be careful babe' in the most awake voice I've ever heard! I'm thinking he was faking, so I went to sleep very VERY annoyed. Then this morning, I was woken up by him rubbing all over my body, bottom, and breasts, which is typically the sign he wants to have sex. So I played along, but as soon as I went to rub my hand up his thigh, he shook me off and pretended to be asleep. Then a few minutes later, after he apparently thinks I'm asleep, I feel him doing himself right next to me! He was full fledge going at it, and I'm just laying next to him like a stressed horny lump on the log! I haven't said a word to him all morning and I just don't know what to do. Apparently I wasn't appetizing enough this morning for him :/
Updates:
+1 y
Here's an update: He swears up and down he doesn't remember the night I mentioned above, which I find hard to believe but we talked about it and promised me a wonderful full body massage to make it up to me. Well, what do you know, he falls asleep on me AGAIN the next day, but it's ironic because earlier that afternoon, he wanted sex so I gave it up, but as soon as it comes down to me, he can't perform. I don't understand and to be honest, I'm considering just withholding for a long time :/
+1 y
OKAY! Enough already! Let me make it very, VERY clear that I have been extremely understanding with this situation, including taking time to 'entertain' myself, and given multiple breaks to him especially after knowing he's worked hard all day. I'm asking for advice on how to approach him specifically, or a subliminal tactic that will work just as efficiently.
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Why don't you just ask him. Include foreplay for you.He's probably going to say that you were asleep and he didn't want to bother you. Now you were cutting your nose to spite your face by ignoring him when he initiated. Game play with game play = someone getting hurt. Sometimes a guy just wants to get off and not invest or spend 20-30 mins, of course that's not fair.Sometimes that means you will havei take care of yourself. If he's going to pretend sleep whenhe doesn't get you off I'd pull my vibrating Big One from under the bed and watch how fast he wakes up when he hears the buzzing sound.Today you go ahead and at bed time you take care of yourself I am sure he'll want to join in and then you can both move forward.

  • Maybe he thought the sex made up for or exceeded the massage.You keep grilling him he may get performance anxiety and not get it up for you. This guy sounds tired. Give him a break and maybe find otherthings to do to entertain yourself.

  • He's not worth it and he's being a self centerd prat, he only f***'s till he get's what he want but never think's of YOUR needs.

    I'd never let anyone treat me like that.

    break up with him.

Most Helpful Guys

  • Its easy to tell that 3/4s of this is coming from your jaded and misguided viewpoint =] Quit being a selfish lover. You even said he has a very stressful job, and your treating his symptoms of stress with aggression, derision and disbelief - which'll cause him to be more stressed. If he's falling asleep like this, all the time, its likely he needs some strong medication. Instead of being pissed at him for not giving you orgasms, take him to a doctors surgery and find out what's really going on.

    Annnnnd, this'll appal more to you - if he is faking, taking him to a doctors surgery will eliminate his ability to fake, because you'll know he was faking.

    • To respond to this ignorant response, I'd first like to point out that I made it very clear that it was only when it comes down to when I (keyword), want to have sex for anything. If it's the same day and he wants sex twice around 8pm, god forbid I want to have sex at 8:15pm. It's like he automatically loses his ability to perform. But whenever HE asks for sex, despite day, time, where's he's been that day, or what he's done at work, I'm supposed to drop my pants and receive.

    • To point out ignorance is the accept fault of the disillumination of your audience. Clear the floodlights from between your legs, doll. Surely if there are time-based patterns, and he, a working man, lives on a time-based schedule, that points out that there is indeed something wrong?

  • Sorry to say, but he sounds like a jerk. I would never treat my girlfriend like this and I would never choose to jerk off when I could be having sex with my girlfriend instead. That's just weird. You should definitely talk to him and get him to open up about what's going on. It's just not right for him to be treating you like this.

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 4

  • Uh... have you ever considered the possibility that he's actually asleep? People can act like they're completely conscious at times when they're asleep...

    • I don't consider that an option because it's just so frequent.

    • Surely the fact that its frequent supports the idea that its actually sleep?

  • Don't give him any till he starts going down on you. You ain't getting off than he ain't getting off. Ya gotta be a jerk about it sometimes. If he masturbates, you masturbate, but don't let him f*** you.

    • I was considering that too..

  • Well that's a typical woman's reaction. "I want sex. He can't perform. Therefore, I'm going to go from limited sex to NO sex. That'll teach me. I mean, that'll teach him. Or us. Or something."

    • I agree. But this exact response is the reason I posted for ADVICE. Not to hear about things I already know about.

  • You guys need to talk, instead of trying to play stupid games which only leave you feeling frustrated.

    There is a physical reaction which causes men to sleep after cumming. This annoys women, sometimes, but it's not because he's made the choice to sleep, or because he's lazy.

    Second, if you're not satisfied, tell him. But from how you're describing your reaction, I don't think you guys are even interested in working it out.

    • Anonymous User, I am VERY interested in talking it out, and we have. But again, last night, after he promised me a wonderful full body massage,he fell asleep while we were having sex again, without either of us finishing. It's annoying because we had just got back from a friend's house where he was wide awake. I don't know what to feel anymore!

    • Talk to him when he's awake, then

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