My boyfriend got angry because I got fingered by my ex??

[Anonymous]

i never had sexual intercourse before my current bf...we are together for like 6 years now. but when we had sex for the first time I didn't bleed. he asked me just once whether I had sex before..i said no..he let it go. now after so many years... we were talking about hymen... and then he just said "yeah but you didn't have 1 too"..i said "yeah I don't know why"...so he started asking me why why ..then he said that he wouldn't get angry about anything... I can tell him anything I want etc etc. so I said that maybe I got fingered by my ex once or twice...so maybe its the reason. he didn't get outwardly angry or he didn't yell at me... but he got super cold. when I asked him why...he said that I should told him that. I mean I didn't see why I should tell him all that about some ex. and then the worst part came. he said , I didn't know you were that kind of a girl for whom sex is a trivial thing and she can have it have anyone"... I demanded on what basis he is saying that,.. he said "because of your past of course"...and he said like so disgustingly. and I slammed the phone on him. I am super hurt that after so many ywars with him he would say something like this. he didn't even call me back. I just don't know what to do about I t

[38rakia38]

Your boyfriend is a f***ing idiot.

You can break your hymen by also doing the following...

-Horse back riding, particularly english or bareback.

-Tampon use

-Falling down on your ass too hard

-masturbating (especially if you're like me and you bought a vibrator at 18)

I had an ex like your dip sh*t boyfriend who assumed because I didn't bleed during sex that I had "obviously had sex before".

Um, no, I used a vibrator and popped my own cherry thank you very much.

Dump this asshole and move on with your life.

If all your 6 years comes to an end over a f***ing hymen, is that really a relationship? Or a relation-sh*t?

[saltycheeks]

to be honest this is harsh but I agree with this I would be over him quickly if he gets mad about stupid stuff like that. But I have made my own personal decision to not be with a guy who judges me based off of my past.

[38rakia38]

My middle name is "harsh", I'm notorious for not sugar coating anything. Hell, yeah maybe I'm being harsh and judgmental on the guy but the truth is, she's presenting the facts like he's a child, which I'd have to say he's being a HUGE BABY. The past shouldn't matter in a relationship that's been going for 6 years. Whether or not she was fingered by her ex, shouldn't matter what so ever. It's a stupid reason to argue with someone or be a d*** about it. Which if that's your cup of tea...wtf...why

[Aniratak]

Maybe he built up this whole picture of you being completely pure and him being your first in everything. A picture he has had in his ind for 6 years and probably become quite fond off. So when you told him the truth, it kind off shattered that picture. And in that moment he was upset and therefore said the stupid things he did.

I think after 6 years, it's quite a stupid thing to fight about. And I'm sure he'll get over it. Just give him some time to get over the "shock" and for him to adjust to the things you just revealed about yourself.

[brightwing]

he is an idiot. talk to him because you have years together and it deserves a talk atleast. be clear that he was the one you chose and is with, but if he can't handle your past, you really shouldn't suffer through such bull sh*t. hell my boy friend comes from a traditional family and he is OK with my past.

[sinful1620]

He's not only angry that you got fingered, he's mainly angry that you lied to him and made up excuses to make it seem like you'd been with fewer guys than you did.

[Asker]

what you do mean "fewer guys"... I just had one ex... and that he knows. please read the question properly. and I did not lie. he asked me whether I had sex before I said no. so please read the question propoerly

[brightwing]

guy is an idiot there really was no lying and he doesn't need to know such details unless she has a kid with him

[Shaun]

You did lie to him. Why not tell the truth? What else have you done that he doesn't know about?

[Asker]

alrite. even if I didn't tell him that then don't you think that he should have been angry about why I lied rather than telling me what kind of a girl I am...what kind of a girl I am not. like some dark ages prude. an di just had it with my ex bf...he was my boyfriend for gods sake

[Shaun]

He thought he was getting an inexperienced girl and you let him think he did. Maybe it's not important to you, but it's important to him. Is he being a baby? Sure. But if you would have told the truth in the beginning, the subsequent six years might have been different. People have a right to choose the kind of people they get involved with, don't you think?

[brightwing]

yes people can choose but if people are such pricks they should go join a convent. jeez. it was fingering for f***s sake. and she was honest about no sex. my current boy friend took my virginity, but he knows I've had ex's and he knows though I may have fooled around I chose him to be my first. he bloody hell should be content with that and understand for girls its a big deal when it comes to letting go of our virginity. we have enough people calling us either prudes or sluts.

[Shaun]

Just be honest and let people decide for themselves. Simple.

[Raider_Z]

lol, what a stupid thing to fight over.

[Asker]

i guess you are right. sounds childish.but still he shouldn't have said that

[Raider_Z]

Just have make-up sex already. He's acting immature, as some guys don't like the thought of their woman having done anything with another man.

[Anonymous]

This guy is a supreme asshole.

Dump him, and find a guy who isn't such an unbelievable d***.