Oral/fingering feels good but not enough to get me off?

[Anonymous]

I like both oral and being fingered enough but I still can't seem to orgasm. I mean, when I masturbate, I build things up slowly from 0% to 100% and enjoy myself just fine...but when someone else is doing it for me, the pleasure level is like constantly between 80-85% (100% being orgasm)...does anyone know what I"m talking about? I mean, oral feels amazing but it doesn't escalate. Help please? Is my guy doing something wrong?

[tasha4592]

try pleasuring yourself while he watches. a lot of guys find this really hot to watch, and it will help him see what you do to get yourself off. Communicate with him, and tell him whether you would like him to go slower, faster, change angles, lick harder, softer etc. I tell my fiance exactly what to do to please me while he is doing it and it really helps. what does he do that you do differently? (maybe if you figure that out. you will figure out what to change to make it WOW you) Hope this helps:)

[MissMaka]

How long have you been doing it with your partner? How much do you trust him? Have you tried showing him your techniques? Have you tried finding things you can do to augment your sensation while he is stimulating you? Have you tried doing it while looking at something arousing? All these things can affect your ability to come. Sometimes you have to be with a guy for a while before it works.

[Asker]

Wow. I'll try to consider these and see what I can do. Showing him my technique would be a good one because even though I trust him a lot, he doesn't really have many "tricks" up his sleeve. Thanks!

[valleygirl]

I think you may be doing it wrong because, you are suppose to communicate with him and let him know what exactly you want without hurting his feelings, its your sex life and you know what makes you pop another thing that can help you is masturbating in front of him and make sure he pays attention to what your doing. Good Luck

[themastaplan]

you just have to get into to...my ex used to get off to oral now and then but not every time

its just something you have to build up in your mind as he's going down on you...i don't know too many girls who get off to guys fingering them, unless its been forever and you're really really horny and sensitive...

just get yourself into it, imagine things that get you off...afterall its all in the head, no matter how it happens

[Asker]

I see...yeah, I'm not really used to it, so I guess that's why. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

It's more likely that you're not relaxed enough to orgasm.

Have you tried doing it in front of him? You know you can get to 100% on your own. But if you can't do that *on* *your* *own* while he is there watching you, then that would prove it's not about what he's doing right or wrong, but about how relaxed you are. And his presence is making you too tense to fully relax and orgasm.

[Asker]

Hmm, never considered that. Though I'd say I can't relax because it feels too good? Haha. Thanks for the answer!

[ThoroughFred]

Sounds like you are just a person who needs more pre-game. Work with your partner to get more build up, more anticipation and more variations in intensity. Bascially train him to do it to you the way you do it to yourself.

[kooky]

in short yes he is doing it wrong. To teach him have him hold your hand while you pleasure yourself then use his hand to pleasure yourself. that will give him the idea. A lot of guys like to rush sex. Slower is faster with women. You may also not be relaxed enough, which once again he is doing wrong, you need to be comfortable and relaxed before you can orgasm.

[l-hedoniste]

Assuming, of course, that you're doing all the right things--helping him along, giving clear and frequent feedback, adding whatever tools and toys could be helpful--maybe you're just not into oral.