Sexual Health
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Men can have sex before marriage, but women should remain virgins?

I was speaking to someone on here yesterday and he was saying that it's OK for a man to have sex before marriage because they have much more testosterone and it's hard for them to control their sex drive, but women should remain virgins and only have sex with their husbands, because they can control themselves better and they should not ruin themselves because then they will not make good wife material. With baggage from previous sexual partners, and your vagina's will be loose and no man wants a vagina that is "already broken in" I thought his point of view was TOTALLY sexist. What do you think. Are many men like this? Because I don't like that attitude.
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Most Helpful Girls

  • I agree that it is completely sexist and I hope this is not how all guys think because double standards like this are ridiculous. Women have sex drives too but we're not as pressured by the media to have sex. I understand guys get pressured all the time because they feel like they owe it to their masculinity, but if you think about it, a guy who can wait shows extreme discipline, which is a great trait that shows the type of man he is as a whole. I'm waiting for marriage and most likely the guy I marry won't be a virgin which I'll have to accept, but good things come to those who wait...guys, even if you're not virgins, I know it's hard for you but be patient and have fun getting to know your girl and when you marry her, you can have all the sex you want;)

    • agree very well, I'm 23 and still virgin, regardless what is my religion , I admit it so hard to control myself but it is not impossible, I'm doing good so far. I have been seduced by women and they were actually older than me, I was like don't you see my face features tell that I'm arab lol, so yeah I have my values and actually I admire so much people like you

  • i think that's awful. I hope he gets herpes from all the sex he can't "control" having and then no virgin or any girl for that matter will want to be with him. it's not fair that he can have such a crazy sexual past but the woman he marries can't have had sex at all. even if it's with one guy and she was in a relationship with him? but he can have random sex with some stranger he met at a bar? don't make sense to me.

  • We live in a world of double standards. However, just because that guy said that NO man wants to marry a non virgin woman does not mean that this statement is true. In my experience and from talking to other men and women most people prefer that there weren't an excessive number of partners previously but he or she not being a virgin would not usually be a deal breaker.

    • Agree with you -- I'd expect to check under the hood before buying the car -- more fun to have experience!

Most Helpful Guys

  • It's completely sexist, of course. But that double-standard has been in the world a LONG time, and isn't going to go away anytime soon. It has faded a lot in the Western world, even here in puritanical America, but in other areas, it is still widely believed and practiced.

    A woman is NOT "ruined" by having sex. Anyone who thinks that is an idiot.

    I could *somewhat* see the argument for a woman having another man's kid, especially some random guy's, as being a big negative, because that does have lasting consequences. Is it unfair? Yes, but life is unfair.

    Fortunately, we also have birth control, which, when actually used, prevents that problem most of the time.

  • I am constantly amazed at the stupidity people can exhibit. Were I as ignorant as this person you were speaking to yesterday, I would become a mute in order to keep everyone from finding out. Obviously when he opens his mouth, stupidity and ignorance just bubbles forth as from a spring.

    • Hahaha, it is shocking

    • yeah it is lol. I don't know why he thinks he's so special that he's allowed to have sex but his wife has to save herself for him.

    • Luckily, females generally recognise guys this ignorant and see to it they remain celibate. This has the endearing effect of preventing them from replicating and cleans up the gene pool just a little. :)

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What Girls & Guys Said

6 13

  • I notice that there are a lot of these men on this website. I wouldn't get upset over their opinions because I'm sure you're not going to run into on the street. Some guys are jealous because they are not the first to their current girls. You know some girls here are like that too. So I think it both sexes.

  • Most men think like this.

    • Nope that's your intrepretation. I stated most men think like this. Nothing about whose fault it is. You can't blame women who have sex for the way a guy who thinks this.

    • Nope your intrepretation. I said most men think like this. That's all. People can think whatever they want. Nothing about girls having to follow the way of thinking. Just that most men think like this.

    • For your logic of me implying women are to blame I would have to state that think way of thinking is correct.

    • Show All

  • HAHAHAHA what an idiot. One men can control themselves, Two women have their own choices of what they want. As people there are those men and women that can't control themselves while there are many more that can.



    But what is so funny is his way of thinking "women should remain virgins and only have sex with their husbands" meaning when they are young they aren't going to have sex right? If this is true the NO unmarried man could have sex either. Example: if you remove all of the white pieces from a chess board you can't play chess.

    People that say things like this didn't take the time to think. They lack reality and are completely blinded by their thoughts. Explain this to him and see what he comes up with, I bet it won't even make any sense.

  • Sounds like you were speaking with tonymetal25

    • LOL, TonyMetal discussing things that happen BEFORE marriage? No way

    • -1?

      Intriguing. Tony has a second account or his friends are taking me down a point. I just go one thing to say to that --- link

      (Be sure to highlight search bar then hit enter if you fail to see it)

    • @Jack, I know it was strange but I thought he was trying to be insidious, or having a more confused day

    • Show All

  • He was gay; he meant that men should only have sex *with each other*.

  • Hahaha. Yeah, a lot of people here are silly.

  • that is sexist! I try to control myself and I think I'm doing a bang up job. I know both sexiest have there saints and there sluts, I'm not ether, and I think that if a person can't keep there pants on, Man or woman, they have problems.

  • It's insane, for one thing.

    If men should have sex, but women should remain virgins until marriage, and then only sleep with their husbands, who does he suggest the men have sex with? Widows?

    Other men?

    • he said decent women who want to get married and have children should stay virgins. lol

    • Yeah, I'm sure he said that when someone caught him with his **** in some young mans arse.

    • I've seen a few men on here with that oppinion. I wonder what country they are from.

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  • I think they say it as when a man has sex he's finished

    When a woman does it there's more of a stigma attatched and chances of a pregnancy which scare off other males

    Also female virginity is considered more important than a male's

    Not saying I agree with it but I think some people may feel this way

    • what do you mean when a man has sex he's finished?

    • Well he himself doesn't have to worry about pregnancy buta girl does and it's big thing if she is

    • That is true, there is a greater possibility of consequences for women that for men. If only men could realize that isn't true... they are just as likely to catch STDS or owing child support for the next 18 years. They might not realize it when they're done, but the worry should be there.

  • Sounds like a crock of sh*t to me.

    The girl's sexual activity is not going to be my main concern when it's time to decide on marriage (of course STD free is a requirement for sex to happen, also I do want a vagina I can feel, as in not loose -> but that' muscle control mainly).

    My main concern is the person I'm marrying, I'm not getting engaged to a pussy, I'm getting engaged with a person and that's what I'm gonna be looking at.

    • that was very well said, I wish more men were like this

  • anyone can have sex before marriage and anyone can remain a virgin.

    that guy is clearly a douchebag. no, most men have a bit more common sense and a less provincial outlook on life.

  • Missed that one I guess...what's the old line..What's Good For The Goose Is Good For The Gander? Well..how's this one...What's Good For The Gander Is Good For The Goose? Brilliant eh? Gimme a break..it's back to work today...

  • I wouldn't marry a virgin. Wouldn't even date one. Had one and I don't want to take the time to teach them a lot of stuff. Lol I guess I'm lazy. I want a girl thatknows something. And we could learn the rest together.

  • I agree with him

  • the part where he said men has very high sexual drive is true, to me it becomes very annoying if I didn't relief, I'm 23 still virgin, though I don't agree that men has the right to have sex outside marriage, whether men or women I think sex outside marriage is an animal act, no man would marry a woman with a long history of sexual relations and I think not all women want a man that has such relations too

  • preferring a virgin girl is just like having any other preference, just like girls prefer taller guys or muscular guys or big d***s

    nothing wrong with it and most men have this preference

    • thanks for backing me up anon

    • A preference is one thing but valuing a standard you excuse yourself from upholding is one thing. Get a virgin all you want but don't say men shouldn't be one but only women.

    • it's a preference don't like my preference? then f*** off

    • Show All

  • lol and why would any woman want to marry a sexist idiot like that, virgin or not.

  • Thats totally ridicoulous. Where was he from?, course I talked to a girl from India the other day and she complained that most men feel that way there.

    I think he's being very sexist too and surley hope that not all men feel that way, because would you really want a guy that cares more about your vagina than you?

    • actually to me(I'm arab american) it is not about a vagina it is about being naked infornt of another man other than your husband, and this is applied to men too, want to have sex? look for your life partner , marry her and have fun everyday this is sick people these days don't repect themselves

    • its not so much that he wants marry a virgin, but that he thinks its OK for men to sleep around but abslultley unacceptable for women. If you are yourself a virgin and want to marry one, that would be great but to get around yourself and expect your partner to be a viring is wrong and sexist. I don't really what is intentions behind this, I can c your point with the respect thing, but you cannot have standarts for your partner that you can't keep up to yourself.

  • that's a stupid statement from that guy

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