Why do women that are promiscuous think they are marriage material?

I mean only the women that have ever cheated, had a threesome, slept with a guy they met the same day or ever had sex outside a relationship or been with a lot of men like more than 4. What makes these women think that men will want to marry them? I mean I don't look down on this sort of lifestyle if people don't want to get married, I just don't see how women that do these things could seriously think that a guy would want to marry them.
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Most Helpful Girls

  • I have done all these things. I have slept with numerous people, outside of relationships, some of whom I had just met. I have in fact cheated. But that doesn't define who I am and I am marriage material.

    Marriage should be about values, of which I have. I am honest, proud, independent, have integrity, and am loyal. Before jumping to hypocritical wagon, let me explain. I have cheated. It was at the end of my relationship. Things weren't working out, we weren't communicating. All I knew is that he still held assumptions that everything was not only OK, but going accorrding to his life plan. When I realized I had been so tempted to find something elsewhere that I actually partook, I broke it off. I broke up with him, knowing that nothing could be salvaged if I was willing to go that far with no regrets. I didn't lie to him, I didn't try to conceal anything. I have never compromised my integrity.

    And I know for a fact that I'm marriage material. I know this because I'm engaged. My fiance has had about half the number of partners I have had. He knows my entire sexual past. He has never done anything similiar in any regards to what I have done. He wishes I hadn't done some of the things I have because he admits he doesn't understand their appeal. He knows it's just somethings he could never do and be OK with himself. We understand each other on that, and he doesn't have any worries about me straying or being sexually unworthy of marriage, just as I am not worried about my qualifications for a happy successful marriage.

    • Yeah you hae values like cheating instead of ending a relationship first. Principles or not, you're a self-absorbed slut.

    • I don't value cheating. I do not value cheating at all. I didn't intentionally go out to cheat to break someones heart or have any illusions to what cheating actually means. But no, I didn't call and break up the moments before. I wasn't getting into another relationship; it wasn't a slow process. I wasn't emotionally cheating. And the idea of me being a self-absorbed slut is laughable.

    • Can you tell me which values or principles I do not have which make me unqualified for marriage? Because as I've already proved, I'm not afraid to tell the truth. Or explain how I can be a self-absorbed slut with principles?

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  • Women like the one's you described think they're marriage material because they're open minded enough to believe that there are men out there who care more about someone's present than their past.

    Out of all the things you listed, cheating is yeah, the least acceptable of these, and the only one I'd ever really feel as could be a problem. And even women who have cheated manage to settle down when they find the right man - because obviously - earlier when they cheated, they weren't with the right man. I'm not saying it's right. It just happens.

    Men cheat too and expect to be able to move on.

    And yeah - cheating shouldn't be lumped in with promiscuity - they're two very different things. A cheater can be promiscuous. But that doesn't mean all promiscuous girls are cheats.

    Everyone one has a past - has had a youth, and explores sex. Some people do it in the confides of a relationship - others don't. The only difference is that a lot of people deem it acceptable when it's in a relationship - and a lot of people don't when it's not.

    People grow up, stop wanting to experiment and start wanting to settle down, and there are, trust me, plenty of guys who are willing to be with a girl with a promiscuous past because it's probably very similar to their own past.

    • where do thes men exist I know in my own experience men will be with her even live with her but as far as committing to anything that's a whole new story all together, and a persons past is part of their present its part of their reputation and their body and mind so I make no distinction

    • Yeah and there are men that demand virgin women

    • There are men that demand a virgin, yes - but not all men are like that. I know plenty of married couples in which both parties, or just one of the people, in their life before their current relationship and marriage, have been promiscuous - or had many more than 4 sexual partners. If reputation and some form of purity means more to you than the person - I feel sorry for whoever you end up marrying, if you do get married.

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  • i've had threesomes, had sex outside of a relationship, and have been with more than 4 men. Just curious, why do you think that means that I won't be a good wife?

    And there are men who are more open-minded about sex than you and have no problem with a woman who has been "promiscuous", for the record.

    • Because you probably won't be. Most men don't want to be with sluts

    • That was a non-answer. Why do you think I probably won't be?

    • I don't think you can reason with him selfishstars. Just saying. =)

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Most Helpful Guys

  • If I'm in a srious, committed relationship with a girl that has done these things before, I would still marry her.

    I mean, what's in the past is in the past.

    So, it's not wrong for them to think they are still marriage material. It's wrong for YOU to think that they are not.

    "Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it's called the present." (I don't remember where this quote is from.)

    I don't care about her past.

    As long as she doesn't cheat on me, has a threesome (that I'm not included in), sleep with a guy (who's not me) at the same day she meets her in, sleep with 4 or more men (me not included) etc. DURING our relationship, I just don't care.

    Why would you?

    You never made mistakes in your life?

    Never broke a window? Never made a person cry? Never punched someone in the face? Never tripped and fell? Never got drunk? Never be involved in a car accident? Never lied?

    You have made mistakes in your life as well. You are not Superman, so you shouldn't really expect your girlfriend to have made NO mistakes with her life at all.

    • mistakes are fine just not with other guys d***s

    • Yeah except when you make a mistake that could lead to an unwanted child or STD it says something about a fundamental lack of judgment. Breaking a window != unwanted child Thanks for playing

    • This is a great answer, but I'd just like to say that not every person views their sexual past as a mistake. Some do, but for others, they make conscious decisions about what they do sexually and don't regret it. But even so, it has nothing to do with whether or not someone would make a good wife.

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  • let them think how they will deep down they know they are not wanted

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • There are guys who are "promiscuous" too- those guys won't be able to judge them for their behavior. And people all have different opinions about how far is too far. For you, more than for monogamous relationships might be a lot, but to others, too much could mean ten or fifty.

    Cheating is clearly unacceptable, but as long as everyone is honest and willing, having threesomes or casual sex doesn't hurt anyone. Lots of married couples participate in threesomes and such. There's nothing inherently wrong with it.

    Also, people often go through phases and then change and want something different. Just because someone is very sexual doesn't make them a bad or worthless person, and being "promiscuous" at one point in their life doesn't control who they will become in the future.

    • By definition, men cannot be promiscuous.

  • Cheating isn't cool, but threesomes or casual sex is a personal choice. Are you one of those guys that feels inadequate knowing your girl had fun before she met you?

    • Nah just don't want my kids being raised to become sluts.

    • I'd be more worried about them being raised by an insecure, closed minded, and assumption driven father..

    • @Brando, true that!

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  • I wouldn't touch a girl who hadn't slept with at least four guys or more. What is wrong with you? Do you think that women should not be allowed to have a life, drive or meet someone before they even knew you existed? You wanker. You're not a member of the Taliban are you?

  • Serial murders can find wives, so there's someone for everyone. I get what you're saying, though, and for a lot of guys AND girls, this is how they feel. In fact, there are just as many girls who recoil at the idea of marrying a man who's fucked the phone book as there are guys. I do think that women (and men) need to be mindful of the consequences of having sex with a bunch of people. STDs are no joke, and, in fact, are a major contributor to infertility.

    • I agree with you HikerDude. Men should as well be held accountable for promiscuity not just woman. Another interesting fact people with more sexual partners are more likely to get divorced in marriage which also includes men.

  • cause theyre stupid

  • Cheating is one thing the others who cares

  • Simple OP just don’t get married. Woman can act as promiscuous as they want to but a MAN doesn’t owe her commitment. Honestly at the end if your a real guy you win this argument since you don’t allow ANY woman to change your own values and to allow them to use you as an object. Promiscuous people especially woman pay for their actions later in life so if they want to act promiscuous let them. Whatever it is their life...

  • I don't think women expect to be married if they are promiscuous. Marriage is so toxic for the male at least in California that I doubt girls here expect men to be willing to marry at all. Not sure about the 25-29 age group I can only speak from the views of my friends.

  • Let me just be brutally honest, instead of PC. I have family members that work in couple's therapies. They have mentioned that a long sexual history was one of the main reasons why so many guys lacked respect or cheated on their wives/girlfriends or resented them. Guys love to date the sluts but do not want to marry them. It is pretty common talk among guys, nowadays there is huge level of disrespect for women. It might be beyond perceptions, it might be biological. I I have read several research articles about the hormone oxytocin that women produce in limited amounts, that is why very difficult to form strong sexual/emotional relationships for women that were promiscuous when young or victims of sexual abuse or rape. There has been studies with prostitutes as well, women's sex is a lot deeper than men where sex is just a physical act, for women there is a far stronger emotional component. Most of the men that take promiscuous women are either older (want a companion more than a wife) or men with low self-esteem (feel that they can not get anything better). I know a couple of guys like that, they make jokes about their wives all the time with the guys, cheat all the time, and have to watch p*rn to get in the mood to have sex with their wives (they get turn off by them sexually, it was cool when they were dating but now it is a burden). They look down at the women but do not want to get a divorce becasue of the monetary harm that they feel might come with it. Once they got marry they used to say that "the past is the past, etc to them but with time the sexual history of their wives has became too much of a burden for them.

  • I feel women have been duped by the great equalizers to believe they can be like men, act like men and not care like men but... they are not men.

    Not much else I can say other than i have tried reaching out to millennials to no avail- they know it all! And inevitably every last one of them I have spoken to is now single, but at one point, certain those men they were living with or having sex with sans “the talk” or even a well defined relationship heading somewhere, and were quit irritated when i tried to tell them.

    I will be 52 this year and was married for 13 years but with someone for 16, no children. I know a few things and am won't to find someone who will engage me instead of dismiss, on this topic.

  • I'm really tired of seeing men dangle marriage around like it's a fucking carrot to women.

    It feels like you think we all have to aspire to be "marriage" material or whatever the definition of it that you created in your own head.

    Different people want different things, not every man cares if a women has did any of those things and not every woman who has did those things, thinks they have to meet your standards of "marriage material".

    People do and experiment with things in their past and maybe they've changed and want a more stable married life now. Some people actually want and enjoy threesomes in their marriage, some people actually like if their partners fuck outside of their marriage and in it.

    You're putting everyone into this bubble of marriage and marriage material that you created and it doesn't work that way.

    • Be an adult and stop trying to avoid taking responsibility for your actions. Each action has a consequence...

    • I'm sorry but are the consequences, not being able to marry a man who doesn't have much in common with them in the first place? I mean if you don't both share the same values and morals then neither of you are really missing much. So why does the guy who puts expectations on a woman, get the upper hand when it comes to marriage?

    • Well you don't have to date or marry such a man if it does not float your boat, in that part your right. There is no point of marrying a person that does not have the same belief as you. However as a woman you can place the exact type of expectations on your man in marriage. This does not only work one way... Despite what mainstream society says marriage is not an equal partnership, different genders play different roles.

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  • Well, everyone has different ideas on what that means. I know that if I love someone andthey love me, and we choose to get married, that will happen. Its very simple. I don't have anything to prove to anyone like you and I would never be interested in someone who thinks of sexuality that way. For my standards, they aren't a good match. Just generally not the type of people I like to be around, never mind date or marry. I guess it may be hard for you to understand that not everyone sees things the way you do, and that promiscuous women have been getting married for years and will continue to do so. Not all guys are hung up on that mentality. Some guys like girls who are sexually liberated, others just see us as sluts. Lol Its totally cool. :)

    I go for guys and girls who like me as a person. The minute I pick up that they are the types to judge me or anyone else on sexuality, then that's my sign that we just need to go our separate ways.

    • Yeah and some dudes get off on seeing other men or black guys f*** their wives. The world is pretty damn messed up. For many thousands of years, people thought the way I did. It's only recently in the last 40 years that women are being told it's OK to be sluts.

    • lol yeah for many years men were empowered to do whatever they wanted while sexist standards on sexuality dictated social behavioral standards for women, but you'd have to be pretty uneducated to think everyone everywhere did exactly as they were told or were told the same things everywhere. plus, it varies from time period. in some ancient cultures, orgies at parties were not such a rare thing, men could have multiple wives in some past cultures, sex with slaves, kama sutra, etc.

    • Many of the wealthy/monarchy in cultures thousands of years ago could engage in promiscuity freely and several kings and queens had reputations for sleeping around. prostitutes have always existed. There are so many examples that you would know of if you werent so ignorant. it is very true that sexist double standards on female behavior prevailed in many cultures, but your statement paints the picture that all women were saintly before recent history and its total b.s.

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  • Because they know some poor sucker will fall for that used up p**** everytime. Good luck satisfying that big ****. Time to hire a stunt **** or get some really big toys ready. It's going to be a bumpy ride. Not to mention a diseased one at that.

    • Well, that's obviously a very harsh way of putting it, but I don't disagree. To me it has nothing to do with vaginal dimensions and more to do with a lack of good judgment and morals.

    • vaginal dimensions are relavent too. If she's used to getting a big d*** and she becomes accustomed to it an average guy just isn't going to be able to give her the stretch she's looking for.

  • Good question. You should post one about guys too. Because I don't know a single guy in real life that hasn't cheated, had a threesome, slept with a girl they met the same day, slept with a girl outside a relationship, or been with less than 4 women. So I guess no guy I know is marriage material then?

    • Or the more likely, and more common factor: You. You have sh*tty tastes in men.

    • Hahaha they're my friends darling. Never said anything about guys I was dating. Interesting though, it's always the woman's fault, never the man's. If women are sluts, it's women's fault. If women know man sluts, it's the woman's fault for knowing them? Get out of here you're a moron.

    • Most sluts have more male friends than women, for precisely that reason. Men want to f*** sluts, not marry them. And most women don't want to be friends with sluts.

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