Tips on giving head

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 4 months now, and we have sex pretty often. I'm almost embarrassed to admit this, but I have never given him, or any other guy, head before. The first time we had sex was a spur of the moment thing so we kind of skipped the whole oral sex part. He gives me oral, and I can tell that he wants me to go down on him too, but every time we're hooking up and I think that I might do it, I get myself all worked up and back out. I feel sort of bad when he goes down on me and I don't return the favor, especially since I can tell that's what he wants. I really want to try doing this but I'm completely clueless. How do I initiate giving head for the first time without making it awkward? If I ever convince myself to actually do this I think I'll probably swallow when he comes, so what's the easiest thing to do after you swallow -- run to the bathroom and brush your teeth or drink some water? Haha I have no clue what I'm doing! I know "no teeth", but other than that is it possible to give a bad blow job? I guess what I'm most worried about is being awful at it and totally disappointing him/embarrassing myself. ANY help at all would be so appreciated! Thanks!

i did it! I was pretty nervous at first but once I started it was fine. it was actually fun! haha thanks for the tips!


Most Helpful Girl

  • Well. I'm new to this site so I don't know I'm suppose to answer because I'm a girl and the title is girlsaskguys but here are my tips anyway. While things are starting getting hot, the easiest to initiate head would be to get him on his back and start kissing/licking him down his chest till you get to the below the belt region. You may at this point care to tease him a little by kissing/ licking anywhere within about 5 inches of his cock. Licking down that groove the runs at an angle down on either side of the guys lower abdomen (created by inguinal ligament if you know anatomy) I've found is always a hit. I like to start by licking his balls a little and then a nice flat-tongued lick up the full lenth of his penis (making-eye contact/ dirty smile as you reach the head). As far as the actually penis action, you've got it: #1 = no teeth.

    Other tips: (1) Licking/flicking tongue on underside of his penis between the head and the shaft (2) some guys like more head licking that others - watch his reaction (3) take as much in as you can but don't worry if you don't want too much it - You can use your hand around this base to add - don't squeeze too hard! you're just starting out, you want it to be a good experience for you too! (4) plus gagging is not so attractive haha. trust me. (5) different guys like different strengths of sucking (as in straw - creating suction) when you are giving head - you might try slowly testing him out when you begin. Slowly suck harder to see when you get a good reaction out of him (6) for the most part my experience is that once you get your mouth around their penis the guy would rather not be out in the cold air again haha but teasing is good to some extent (7) keep your tongue moving even when you are sucking (8) when he's getting close to cumming it's best to remain constant or ever so slighly more vigorous (9) depends of the guy I'm sure but I've found it's best to stay away from the head when he's cumming - and what actually helps with swallowing - if you have him further into your mouth when he cumming then your more swallowing before you taste and the head is safe from painful over-stimulation .

    Swallowing: try not to cringe - different guys have different tasting spunk. Heck the same guy will taste different at different times! But I don't want to scare you off: I'm not like the guru/expert/Sam of Sex and City but I can't say I've had a bad experience to date. In fact the last guy I was dating - okay he was fun to give head to: very responsive and didn't taste like anything. ANYWAY. Like I was going to say: you might want to have a glass of water near by - it's good even if he tastes fine because you tend to be a little out of saliva after. Try not to get up and run after. One guy will refuse to kiss you after head, others will yank you up for a deep french kiss. My rule: let him initial post-head kissing. Don't worry about being awful - you'd have to be trying to be bad. Have fun! (PS enthusiasm!) :)


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What Guys Said 6

  • Hey, I'll give you a few tips.

    1. First you need to get him turned on - be more aggressive, grab his stuff, slowly massage his balls through his pants, it's important that you act as seductive as possible - the more you're turned on - the more he'll be turned on. Pull his pants down slowly and act as naughty as possible - this is a great turn on.

    2. Grab his hand and lick on his fingers slowly before you give him head - just put his middle finger slowly into your mouth and suck on it, up and down, slide it slowly and moan - you have to moan a lot so he feels like a king.

    3. As you're licking one finger, slowly start stroking his shaft (penis) with your other hand, you have to be on your knees and he should be standing, look him in the eyes - this way you can see his reactions. You need to love giving him head if you want him to really enjoy it.

    4. Most girls make the mistake of being too soft - don't do that, grab his penis tightly and stroke it hard, as you're twisting his shaft with one hand slowly start sucking on the head (the tip) of his penis, curl your tongue around it, twist it in circles, then point it upwards and slowly lick it while you're watching him.

    5. Say something like "mmmmm I love it" then smile, smiling is very important - it conveys that you love it. Keep on stroking and sucking harder.

    6. Start talking dirty to him, put your hands around his balls and tickle them gently - make sure you are gentle 'cause his balls are very sensitive, as you're tickling, keep on stroking and sucking.

    7. Once you see that he's getting closer start stroking harder - and don't even think about slowing down. Scream at him, tell him you want it - tell him where you want it (swallowing will make him go crazy just as you want it) - then as he starts to come, you have 2 options - you can hold his penis or he can hold it - I suggest you let him hold it and squeeze it out.

    8. Then hold his penis and stroke it slowly, just as if you were trying to squeeze every last drop out of him into your mouth, give it a few more finishing licks.

    9. Then smile at him, open your mouth and show him what you've got in your mouth, smile, then swallow all of it - then look up at him again and open your mouth to show him it's gone.

    10. Smile again, believe me he'll love you for it.

    If you really want to learn how to blow his mind - check this out ----> link - it's insanely powerful

    • it's really difficult not to gag... my boyfriend/friend (idek what he is) really likes it if i go deep but i'm pretty sensitive and i don't wanna vomit on his dick.. help me out here?

  • The best way to initiate it is while you are making out, whisper in his ear something like "i wanty you in my mouth." or "i want to suck you off baby". I'm pretty sure he'll be all for it.

    As for technique, there's not much to it. I prefer the girl to be naked or at least topless when getting head. The view is great for us, plus sometimes we like to touch your breasts while you're doing it. Once his **** is in your mouth, just slide your lips up and down his shaft. Run your tongue all over it. I also reccomend you stroke it with your hand while you suck . Keep going, increasing the speed as you go. As he gets more and more excited, also stroke it harder and faster. He will definitely let you know when he's about to cum. You can shoose to keep sucking and let him do it in your mouth, or take it out and have him do it on your body somewhere. Either you can jerk him off or he can do it. Or you can do it p*rno style - have him pull it out, then you open your mouth and let him jerk off until he shoots all over your tongue.

  • Honestly you need to ask your boyfriend this. Once it's out in the open I'm sure he would be relieved to know you want to suck him off and that you are willing to ask. I would hope his advice would be practice, practice, practice. You can get general tips here but you need to make it your own blowjob with your own trademark.

  • Well, if you were giving head to me, and you didn't know how I'd guide you to do what I like best.

    So here's what you can do. You can ask him to guide you verbally while you do it. Or you can simply slap it in your mouth and watch his face for clues.

    My suggestion is to just ask. It's more direct and to the point, plus instructing makes a guy feel kind of dominant, which is usually in our nature. It can lead to dirty talk. hehehe.

  • just suck it...

  • Just go for it !

    I don't think there is such thing as a bad bj lol


What Girls Said 8

  • Ok, the more I date the more I realize this has become a lost art. I didn't realize so many girls had never given a bj or didn't know how to give one. So really, you are in the majority! You are definitely over thinking this, it is supposed to be fun. I love giving a bj to my guy so I look at it as a challenge each time to make it better and better. It keeps it fun for me that way! Not to mention, if this is the first time for you to give him one, he will be ecstatic no matter what. This is what my boyfriend told me the first time I ever did a bj, "Dude, a hot chick has their mouth on my junk, do you really think I'm sitting here going "Hmmm, well it could've been better if she.? NO!" I cracked up laughing at him!

    The first time, if you aren't sure how to get his pants off or feel awkward about the motions of going down on him, I would just give him one right before you have sex. Not only will he be surprised but he will already be undressed! If you have any type of gag reflex don't try to deep throat because that will make your first experience horrible! In fact, most guys don't care if you deep throat or not, just focus on the head. Suck, lick, twirl your tongue around the head and also play with his balls at the same time. If you get really into it, you can GENTLY (this is key) suck on his balls, guys go freaking crazy over this! Take your time and be sure to do different speeds (go fast and then slow, then fast etc.). Also, when you get more experienced, teeth can be used, but once again, GENTLY. I just kinda graze them over the head a little & I've gotten rave reviews! I hope this helps!

    Also, malree gave you some awesome tips below, combine all our tips and he will be in heaven and you a goddess!

  • Be enthusiastic, like you love his penis and want to make love to it with your mouth...

    Don't just suck...change up the speed a bit, take it out of your mouth and lick and kiss other areas, including the balls...just be gentle, yet firm.

    It should not feel awkward.

    Say what you feel...examples...Do you like when I lick it...I like it...It tastes are really hard...its so big! I can't wait for your cum...I want to taste it----all good examples.

    When he is going to finish, ask him if he wants to come in your mouth or on your face or your breasts or butt. All of these can be very sexy and stimulating for him, as long as you are eager and willing.

    If you want to delve deeper and do some research, try a guide. A friend of mine told me about this site that offers a step by step guide to giving the best oral sex to your guy. You can check it out here: link It is well worth it. I had no idea there were so many things you could do to give your guy the best oral of his life!

    Most importantly, have fun and don't take it too seriously or worry about anything, it will be fun for him to have his penis in your mouth...pretty hard to mess that up. And make sure he returns the favor!

  • Don't think so much! Just get into it. It will come natural. Kinda like kissing! Also, a few other things that might be helpful to know:

    The most sensitive area of the penis is around the head. Don't worry about deepthroating unless you want to suprise him, haha. I normally just put my lips around the head and move up and down slightly, while gripping the rest of his penis with my hands and move accordingly in rhythm with my mouth. Don't be afraid that you will hurt him by gripping down firmly, because his balls are what's sensitive. My boyfriend loves it when I play with his balls a little while I'm going down on him too, but very gently.

    Eye contact can be a real turn-on as well. So look up at him sometimes while you're going down on him =) Keep in mind, the wetter the better!

    When he's about to finish, I usually swallow. It doesn't taste bad or anything. So I don't really rush to brush my teeth right afterwords, might hurt his feelings lol. There's other alternatives though, you can spit, or let him finish somewhere else on your body. I don't think it's possible to give a bad blowjob, so just have fun. Get into it!

    • Oh and another thing to add, you can be playful with it as well. Like licking up and down, twirling your tongue around the tip, or even kissing it. Hope I helped =)

    • Show All
    • Lmao!! nice - introspective

    • Guess I will never have to worry about breast cancer! LOL

  • Yes, there are some great tips here. I can't really add any more. Don't worry about anything. Your first time or whatever--there is nothing to be embarrassed about. With the exception of some really a-hole retards out there, most guys are immediately humbled when their **** is in your mouth. They are going to love it and be grateful. If you do accidentally bite, scrape or squeeze too hard etc., just be calm. Don't be afraid to connect with him at that moment. Say "oops" and smile and I'm sure he will reassure you and hopefully offer some tips. In general I always say that communication is vital. When there's anything you two are learning about each other you should both be talking about it before, during and after--especially sex and relationship stuff. Talk about what you are doing when you are doing it to him and ask him what he likes and how he likes it. Get him to talk to you in return while you are doing it. This talking will be a real turn-on for you both and help you both become more open, happy and healthy sexual people.

  • i was like you for years, so trust me, I know what you're feeling. I was scared to death about it so I had sex with my boyfriend for like 3 years and never even saw his penis, weird right. finally one day I just did it. and it wasnt a big deal at all! seriously, I was worked up over nothing, I actually really enjoy doing it now. I've actually been told by more than one guy that I give the best head theyve ever had, and that's me without experience. so really, don't be nervous. reading up on stuff in cosmo or whatever that tells you how to give head doesn't really help that much because its just something you have to figure out on your own, but it won't hurt to read up just so you will be prepared and have ideas on what to do. but seriously, I cannot stress enough (and I know many people have told you this and you don't believe them, I was the same way, and remember I was in your exact situation like a year ago) it is not a big deal at all, you just need to get over your nerves and do it. GOOD LUCK!

  • a good idea would be to ask him what he wants you to do. tell him you want him to guide you so you give him what he wants. Make out you want the best for him and he'll tell you. I do this with my boyfriend sometimes when I really want to please him. Even though I know what he likes, putting him in control gives him that extra rush and makes it better for him.

    Watch out for his reactions, any gasps, body moves etc that you know he makes while in pleasure are a sign your doing just fine.

    Giving head isn't as bad or hard as anyone really thinks. Just think that your sucking and licking an ice cream/lolly pop helps. no matter how silly it sounds its true. avoid teeth, - though I found out one time by tell my guy if he put his dick near my mouth id bite it hard (id fell out with him), so he tested me and did so I bite it - he jumped back in shock but then asked me to bite it again! so its all with finding out what he likes. if he's gentle in bed then I wouldn't suggest trying to bite it (lol) and becareful with teeth, make sure you have lots of saliva in your mouth - makes it easier. but if he's experimental ask him to try different things - he may find he likes something he thought he wouldn't!

  • i've never heard of a bad blow job. lol. guys love it. but you're right watch your teeth. they'll let you know what they like. I like the way dr. ruth described it once when I was a lot younger. she said lick it like an ice cream cone. go around the head and base with your tongue and suck hard up and down and you'll be able to tell what he likes and just keep with it. some guys come is gross tho, just to warn you. I've spit it back out on their stomach before. nicely of course, but some of it is sweet and I like to swallow it. and it depends on how much you're into them too I think. good luck! I'm sure you'll do fine

  • use your mouth AND your hand at the same time. when your mouth gets tired keep going with your hand but look up at him and smile so that he knows you're gonna keep going. continue when your mouth feels a bit better. experiment different ways to do it. real slow, maybe try and deep throat, or just play with the head by swirling your tongue around it.

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