Best friend makes sexual jokes towards me, is this really inappropriate?

[PinkbabyT]

GUYS PLEASE ANSWER! is this OK to do to your (girl) friends? is it normal? should I be concerned? My very best friend is a guy. we've been friends for 3 years and he's super sweet and nice and has a fiance who I am also friends with. we hang out almost every day. he's always had a pretty crass and sexual sense of humor which didn't really bug me but lately his humor has turned towards me. he is always making jokes about sleeping with me or touching me or going into detail with explicit stories. things like I asked him for some chap stick and he says I can rub his d*** on my lips and would that help. or one time he joked about roofie-ing me and us waking up and just being that much closer. it was a total obvious joke, not threatening in any way (hes like the least imposing or threatening person you could ever meet) but he knows these things make me uncomfortable and I think he just gets a kick out of seeing me squirm, but why? he feels the need to let me know when his girlfriend and him have sex and stuff, and always tries to ask me inappropriate questions like do I masturbate and would I blow so and so and would I swallow? he knows I don't like to be touched but he caresses my arm or tickles my stomach or touches my hair after which I always tell him to stop and don't touch me. he will sometimes touch me in front of his fiance but the innapropriate things he says are much tamer in fron of her. we do this thing were we pretend to fight and he used to go, I'll F*** you up! but lately he thinks its funny to say Ill F*** you! he's done that quite a few times but not in front of his girlfriend and the other day he accidently said it in front of her and she got mad at him and he pretended like he said it on accident when I know and he knows he's done it on purpose multiple times.. should I be concerned or do you think its nothing and he's just sort of overly comfortable around me?

[TheAnswerer]

I think this guy is sexually excited (basically sexually attracted to you), and he knows that you dn't want to have sex with him (he also wouldn't dare to cheat on his fiancee) so he finds an "alternate", but VERY inappropriate way of sexually satisfying himself.

This is not only inappropriate and disturbing, but might get more dangerous if he finds that he's still not "sexually satisfied" with all of this, and plans on going even further...

I think you should talk to him, and be BRUTALLY HONEST about what you think and feel. If you can make him realize that this is severely inappropriaate, and make him feel emabrassed about the whole thing, he might actually stop.

(By the way, why did you post the question again? Everyone was already answering the other one.)

[TheAnswerer]

He is sexually attracted to you, but he knows that he shouldn't cheat on his fiancee (besides you would never accept that as well), so he finds an "alternate" way of sexually satisfying himself.

I think that must be both disturbing and creepy for you. I would advise talking to him about this, and being BRUTALLY HONEST. If you can actually make him realize that what he's doing is severely inappropriate, and get him to feel embarassed about the whole thing, he might stop.

[Anonymouser]

I would get awaaaaay from him. He is a crappy friend, and an even crappier fiance to this girl. He has taken things so far out of line that he is completely disrespecting you and his fiance. You shouldn't let a guy talk to you like this, especially a friend. How would you feel if when you have a fiance they talked to another girl like this? It would probably hurt you a lot. Have you told his fiance that he does this? I would never want to marry a man that is this sexual with another girl. I think you would be doing her a favor by telling her, and if you lose his friendship I really don't think it's a big loss since he is incredibly disrespectful to women.

[Anonymous]

He wants to sleep with you but won't just say it. I'm in the same situation with my guy friend. I'm hoping it happens, tho. He's telling you the stuff about him and the gf to make you think about him as a sex object and he's hoping you get jealous and wish you were sleeping with him. He's touching you because he wants you. It excites him to make you squirm because he's thinking about you squirming when he's making you come. He should be smarter about hanging out with you and the fiancée. It's going to get even more awkward.

[kewkewsie]

Guys with girlfriends like to hit on other girls because its a confident booster, they have a girl but like to see what other girls think of them, knowing they can go home and sleep with their girl. A guy told me this, I know its depressing. The only thing I would be concerned about is MANkind, I always wonder what my boyfriend acts like around other girls when I'm not there, it makes me turn in my sleep.

[ben890]

I don't think it's okay or "normal." If you had a boyfriend, would you be okay with him saying/doing these things with a girl friend of his?

He sounds like a horndog with no self-control.

[SapoTony]

i want to say it's okay because I've made sexual jokes to my female friends. like I would make jokes about being married and sleeping together... nothing as crude as the chapstick comment but I get it.

HOWEVER, he's getting married. I did it when I was single and fooling around on the weekends. If it makes you uncomfortable you should tell him to stop or at least tone it down

[colombo21]

nahh its not normal. sounds like he's mentally ill or he is not getting any p**** from his fiance so he is super desparate. and he sees you as an easy way to get laid because he's really comfortable with you. but tell him to f*** off and see what his reaction would be

[PinkbabyT]

he has sex with his girlfriend a lot. he's not desperate and I do tell him to f*** off and stop being creepy but idk. he thinks its funny or he gets some satisfaction out of it or something. idk

[colombo21]

well then sit him down and be like ey dude we need to talk and tell him everything you think about him and every time he tries to make a joke, stop him