One of the main reasons that girls become attatched to a man after having sex with them, whether it's the first time or not, is because when a woman orgasms all kinds of "attachment" hormones are released, such as dopamine. I don't mean to get too technical here, but the releasing of these hormones DO in fact make a woman feel more attached to the man that caused it to happen. That's where the "clinginess" comes in to play.
It's not "weird" at all that you haven't experienced this. Maybe you didn't actually have an orgasm..which it being your first time, I highly doubt you did. And you are right when you say it IS a good thing...nothing scares a man off quicker than a needy female! Have fun :)
Ha I definitely did not have one but this is very interesting! Thanks for sharing
Oh don't worry about it hun, things don't apply to everyone. You will become attached to the one who you fall in love with and makes you happy, not just anyone :D that's better
Women 'become' attached to the man they do it with because biologically, they will need someone to care for the kids they might produce because of it. That might be the reason why women are more keen to the man they do it with. Times have changed and women have become more capable, but will still fall for the man who makes you happy, no hurries :)
Thanks :). "You will become attached to the one who you fall in love with and makes you happy, not just anyone"---I think this is what is upsetting me too! I half feel like it's not a big deal at all, it's just sex, but half think that it was maybe a mistake doing it with him, even though he is my boyfriend, because I don't love him yet and he doesn't me either...well nothing to do about it now haha, but thanks for that, it was a little reassuring
it's alright tho, it'll feel better when you do it with the one you love and loves you back. Then you guys will become very nervous and your heart will beat as fast as when you first held hands or even more :)
i was worried about that too. when I did it for the first time, it was with this guy I kinda liked. I talked to him alot, and we just ended up doing it. I was surprised after cause he was all "i gotta go" and I was all "yeah I think you should" I mean we cuddled after but I felt no attachment.
Did that make you feel bad though? Like the fact that it was just over and not a big deal anymore and not that sweet and exciting?
No it didn't feel bad. I'm glad I didn't get clingy. I wanted to do it with someone I knew I wasn't gonna be clingy with, or a boyfriend I had for a while. But things just got heated up with this guy, so we just ended up doing it
Sex doesn't mean the same things to everyone. Many girls lose their virginity to someone they have a huge crush on, and they are the ones who are often clingy. But for many other girls, they aren't especially attached to the guy, and see sex as just a fun and adventurous activity, and not as a way to "deepen their love" for a guy. Those girls are much less likely to be clingy.
There are always exceptions for both groups, of course.
At some point, you'll have sex with someone you really care about, and those feelings of a deep connection will kick in, and will make sex, which is already great, that much better.
I think that the attachment that goes along with a girls first sexual experience is mostly socialized because girls are taught to put a lot of value in this, and thus the guy who they lose it to. If you are not bonded to the person who you lost your virginity to that is not weird, not really uncommon, just not the stereotype.
I've had a girl who was extremely attached to me after losing her virginity, and another one who was eager to get out there and see what else was out there.
You have a good point, that girls are made to feel like losing their virginity is so important. I guess I feel weird because it wasn't that much of a momentous event for me. And about being bonded to the person-I didn't mention in question but I lost it to my BOYFRIEND, not some random guy or a crush, so I feel like I should feel less indifferently about it...?
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I guess to add: Sex doesn't necessarily create a bond between people and when it does, it's more than there's already a bond there and having sex can make you feel like that bond is strengthened because you've shared an intimate experience with one another. A lot of times girls become clingy because they view having sex with someone as a big deal, as very special, as a way to express love, etc. Of course, it can be these things, but just because one person feels that way doesn't mean that the
other person feels that way, and it isn't abnormal to not view sex in that way (a lot of people don't).
than = that
The whole clingy thing is a myth. The girl who thinks that the first one must be The One are going to get clingy when he wants to walk. This isn't a virginity issue, but a bad assumption issue. The girls who think, now's the time and you're the guy, generally wind up okay.
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