Blowjob too soon a deal breaker?

[Anonymous]

met a guy and connected really well with our personalities and interests. discussed doing all types of things together, and set a date for dinner. hadn't seen him in a couple weeks and the date was still a few days away when he suggested I come over last week. it was after he had dinner and drinks and I made every promise to myself not to sleep with him. he told me LOTS of things about his past, mentioning he doesn't usually do that unless he sees a person in his future. we made out like crazy and I gave him a blowjob...he gave me his shorts and a shirt to wear and I slept at his place. he walked me to my car and kissed me in the morning. later that day I knew it didn't seem right and I brought up what happened over text...he replied saying he doesn't want anything serious. and that's been it. did the blowjob really "ruin" what we had? why didn't he want to still do all the fun stuff, even as friends? or was he mad that I wouldn't sleep with him as easily as he anticipated? after he sent the text saying he didn't want anything serious I replied with "wish I'd known" and then one more text...never responded to either. dbag from the start? lol .i want a relationship but am totally open to hanging out/just having fun because THAT"S when feelings develop, as opposed to right away. and my 2nd text was something like "i appreciate you telling me so much from your past (lots of sh*t that was really bad) and that I think he's still an awesome person" He didn't reply at ALL and now I feel like I was just too nice and I need to pull away instead of moving in when I start to have interest

[sumina7]

For most of us, a blowjob can never come too soon. Considering you guys were making out like crazy, it was only right that you gave him a blowjob since you were not ready for sex yet. That was very considerate and I am sure he appreciates that.

I am sure there was something else that affected his behavior and there is nothing that you could have done differently. However, when he said that he does not want anything serious, it was probably because something made him think that you were getting serious. You should not have said "wish I had known"-- this immediately implies that you were getting too serious.

Next time in such a situation, say that you are also not looking for anything serious. That would comfort him.

[themastaplan]

For most of us, a blowjob can never come too soon HAHAHHAH WIN WIN WIN

[Minxxe]

"job can never come too soon. Considering you guys were making out like crazy, it was only right that you gave him a blowjob since you were not ready for sex yet" - what did she get out of him, how did he reciprocate and show his "appreciation" to her? those of us who give blowjobs know that protected sex is easier and far safer than blowing someone you don't know.

[jacquesvol]

Blowing someone you don't know... I know it happens often but if I was a girl or gay, it would scare me stiff for 100 days. (the delay needed to get a trustworthy HIV result)

[Minxxe]

darn right, I'd rather offend the guy and make us both wait...plus too many oral partners (more than 6) increases a female's chances of developing certain types of cancer later in life - they should really start teaching sex ed. in school ;)

[jacquesvol]

HPV, Cancer and herpes and chlamydia and HIV and many more

[dudeman]

thats why you stay away from **** suckers its not fair to have to deal with her sh*t because she sucked another guys **** bitch please

[Minxxe]

dudeman you're an idiot, I'm not agreeing with your misogynist comments just so you know. I don't care who's d*** she sucked except that she's endangering her health by doing-so, it's not a slur on her sexuality nor do I care whether she is promiscuous or not. The woman you want is a virgin with no eyes, ears or tongue ie: you want a deaf mute for a wife and that says plenty about you brutha ;)

[jacquesvol]

minxxe +5

[l-hedoniste]

"She gave me a blowjob, so I can't have anything to do with her now."

Seriously, this NEVER happens. Ever. Ever-ever-ever-ever-ever. None but a fool dumps a girl because she dives into his pants. It's a stupid, stupid myth that needs to die, so help me kill it, okay?

"dbag from the start?" The much more likely answer.

If you don't want anything serious, the time to say so is *before* the lights are off. You run the risk of being misleading otherwise. Of course, misleading is what he meant to be all along.

[vmw2008]

Best Answer

[dudeman]

i don't think that's true

[WashingtonLoveWizard]

I completely agree with this. This is pretty much a commandment every women should learn.

[jacquesvol]

"NEVER " ? I might do it.

[l-hedoniste]

Dump a girl because she was so hot for you and for blowjobs that she sucked your c*ck right away? What makes that such a fatal character flaw?

[Minxxe]

giving him a blowjob is far more intimate than having sex with him, you shouldn't have given him a blowjob or gone near him until you had an indication of what he feels for you.

I think he's cooled off you because you gave him too much too soon, you say he gave you a t-shirt & shorts to wear in bed - not much of an exchange is it. you gave him what he wants and now he's backed off, imo.

[dudeman]

exactly lots of girls now don't get that sucking and swallowing come like its nobodies business, why would a decent guy ever want to date that girl, I personally don't know any that would in real life, just players and guys with no game

[Asker]

Yes, true. Heard that the next night he took some girl Home from the bar. Bad move on my part, turns out he's not the "decent guy" as mentioned in the other comment. Lesson learned! Shame on you if you fool me once. Shame on me if you fool me twice

[Minxxe]

QA at our age we're expected to have learned a thing or two about the opposite gender - no bj's next time it's not an alternative to sex, you're better off having protected sex with him at least then you're on equal ground ;O)

[DishLady]

Getting too physical at the start of a dating cycle just shows the guy that you're "open for business" and not looking for an emotional connection of any sort. The guy will make assumptions about your willingness and availability based on what you do on your first few meetings.

You can't assume that just because you got physical with a guy he will want a relationship with you.

[darlanoy0510]

For me if the connection was there nothing is too soon. In your case I guess the guy didn't feel the chemistry. He probably a sensitive guy and like to talk.

[AustinMan]

Sorry to be the one to tell you this but he's just not that into you. Sounds like he was looking for a quick score and you weren't it. For that I applaud you. He sounds like a rascal. As far as blow jobs go, if you can refine your technique to give outstanding head, that will keep guys in the game but good. There are some good tips online.

[WashingtonLoveWizard]

This guy is a legit dbag. Any guy that genuinely likes a girl and gets a bj will be all over you like a monkey on a banana, no pun intended.

Seriously, this guy is a fool. Blowjobs are like crack and men are drug addicts. Giving a guy a blowjob too soon and thinking it will scare him away is NEVER going to happen.

[dudeman]

thats not true at all

[islands7]

You do not have any influence over where this is going - yet. What you give or not at this point won't change a thing. Once you get into his head, you might have more influence.

[islands7]

He can't handle his booze allowed himself to get involved too deep then sex, then stay over = he's "married" again and last "marriage" turn rotten & hurt him too much! He's running away from "marriage" until his scars heal with time. Eventually, time will heal enough for him to be receptive to your innocent suggestions, e. g. "found a new coffee shop that would be fun, meet me Noon on Wednesday @ ... & let's just talk a bit... also have something to show you" (doesn't matter what).

[christian2724]

I don't think your bj ruined it. He probably knew by the first date if he wanted anything serious with you or not. Or... he doesn't want anything serious at all right now. Doesnt necessarily mean he'll treat you like trash.

[christian2724]

Put yourself in his shoes. If you're being honest and saying you don't want anything serious.. .then someone texts back "wish I'd known"... what the hell do you say to that? Wouldn't that make you :( ? You aren't making it easy for him. Always respect when a man is honest with you about his intentions. Would you rather he lie and lead you on? Points for honesty. He cares about your feeling enough to not lead you on.

[jacquesvol]

Indeed, it seems "easy" but I 'll respect a woman who's easy just as wel as I'd respect a virgin.

I'd not necessarily jump on her.

If she did it that soon to me without condom, chances are she does it to others just as quickly without condom and thus I'd think of this: link and I'd back off (I'd probably even say no to the BJ)

[Minxxe]

well put, easy is the only word that comes to mind.

[dudeman]

yes it is a huge turn off I just assume that she sucks **** its part of who she is as a human being she doenst like just suck her husbands **** she's sucks **** and I would probably end things because I wouldn't want to kiss her

[dudeman]

for me definitely no for the bj itself but I just know that's what she does and probably been doing it a very long time and I wouldn't want to kiss that mouth

[Tburg]

I really don't think so. I firmly believe all he wanted was sexual time with you and once he got that.. he was ready to move on.

[Anonymous]

(Age:30 to 35) One wonders...

[dudeman]

lol like man I wonder how much **** she's sucked

[Asker]

Not like I have to defend my identity but that's my my age group even. I made up the stats in my profile

[Anonymous]

i think this had already been asked

[Anonymous]

If he is truly into you, then giving him a BJ like that will NOT deter him. However he's behaving with you is how he'd behave with you regardless. It's not like you "ruined" the potential. Trust me, it's really not.

[Anonymous]

Who knows. I would not say a blow job would put a negative light on a girl I'm interested in. He may have been playing you from the start. Telling you about his past, saying he sees a future with you. Then he says he doesn't want anything serious. So that's odd. Just flat out ask him why he's being a flake.