Normal is a difficult thing to address. Many guys find this arousing. I don't know if its most, but a lot. Some don't.
Some guys find it arousing but simultaneously upsetting to the point that they would be uncomfortable with it.
Only you two can determine what you're comfortable with in the relationship, and whether this type of sex is something you can both enjoy and or tolerate.
My suggestions _personally_ would be:
- you decide for yourself if its something you're okay with or not, in terms of actual discomfort, though obviously you might learn to enjoy it.
- you decide for yourself if its something you can handle him getting off on. You can separate the two. For example, you could sometimes _pretend_ to not enjoy things to get him off. But this is only going to work if you don't hate him afterward :p
- I think _critically_ is you need to think about and insist on your OWN needs being met in the relationship. Does he in other ways make you feel loved and treasured? Does he meet your emotional needs? I suspect if the answer is yes, you might be more willing to pretend to be in pain while he works you over sometimes.
If it helps, its probably not a matter of him simply wanting to see you suffer. Its the fact that you are in discomfort for his pleasure - its thrilling to feel as though his desires are so valued, that for that moment at least, its all about him. Just make sure that its sometimes all about you (not necessarily in bed, wherever it matters to YOU).
He does make me feel loved outside the bedroom, which is also why I was kinda surprised he was that into it. But is that really what it's bout? to see that it's all about him?
Saying _why_ people like things is pure guesswork. That's one theory I can give. Another is that on some level, when we have sex with people what we most want is a genuine reaction. Not faked. We want to so see our sexuality impact someone we find desireable. It is exciting when our partner orgasms because of our actions, but it can _also_ be exciting when they display other reactions, as long as those are real displays of vulnerability that show how _present_ and aware of him you are.
I doubt he enjoyed seeing you in pain but the groans and faces can be arousing, you feel completely dominant.
NO, I'm not a perve or a potential rapist it's just arousing to some. Even the thought of a girl donating her arse for your pleasure turns you on, especially when she isn't too keen on it, makes the sex 'naughty', kinky
Your boyfriend better appreciate your gestures of good will, especially when it's not even Christmas time :)
thank you for your answer but I don't understand where the difference is between likeing to see me in pain and likeing to faces/sounds I make when I'm in pain?
It's the heat of the moment.. he's having sex! You're a different person when having sex, everybody's different! The moans and sex faces intensify the pleasure when you're having sex
Excuse me, but any type of sex can be painful, besides, he can't controll himself, and normaly a guy wouldn't like it if his girl is in pain, and let me tell you, you're boyfriend is a homosexualic newbie at anal sex, because he's doing it wrong, if he did it right you should feel the best pleasure in your whole sexual life.
what's your point?
My point is, he doesn't know sh*t about sex, why would anal hurt you, a woman, if he was doing it right? dump that foo asap
Eh all guys are different, some guys think that seeing their girl in pain is a turn on. Just how it is with him I'm afraid
He might have this fetish thing where he likes pain during sex...
im the same, but I hate having anal
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!Thats kind of strange. Maybe he thought you were making those faces and noises because of pleasure and not because of pain. The vast majority of people wouldn't get any pleasure out of seeing someone in pain.
No he knew I was in pain, I asked him to slow down because of it, which he did but then he said it would soon be better and went on as before
It certainley turns me on. He probably doesn't like seeing you in pain in general, but the thought that you give yourself to him completley so he can do with you whatever he wants. When a girl lets me do things that she's not really into, I feel like she really trusts me
It` s abnormal, he should go to a therapist
No he should not get pleasure from seeing you in pain. You need to discuss this issue with him.
A guy is into SM. I don't see anything bad about it, pain and pleasure sometimes come together.
it still kinda concerns me tho. It's like if does that, what else is he capable of doing, you know?
How I'm supposed to know? Anyway, I usually like to spank girls a bit if they agree. :P
you're not supposed to know, it's the question I ask myself and I don't mind spanking, it does't actually hurt tho
NO, it is NOT normal to have pain, it's even less normal that he loves it.
Dump that moron ASAP
It wasn't that bad, like I said it just felt umcomfortable, kinda strange but certainley not good. Do you really think I should leave him? Is that nothing we can talk bout?
Will a "bit of pain" remain enough pain for him to get excited? Or will he need more as he gets used to it? Will you get used to associate sex with pain? Is it that what YOU want?
Read up on sexual sadism. It's a mental disorder.
Sadistic sociopaths in particular find painful, damaging anal sex to be appealing for a variety of reasons. The anus is the only body part that is typically ignored; even a badly damaged one is often overlooked in p*rn and no one comments on it. It's no surprise that people who are turned on by damaged body parts and/or the act of mutilation really like anal sex.
Remember, the anus and the rectum are important. Don't allow anyone to abuse your body. The problems that receptive anal sex can cause are not pleasant. Consult a medical doctor if you wish to hear the details.
It's a mental disorder? It it goes unnoticed, wouldn't it be not so much of a turn on then? Like I said it wasn't horrible, just umcomfortable
Sexual sadism is a mental disorder, yes. Google it. Damage to the anus often goes unnoticed because people choose to ignore it even when it's visible, e.g. in p*rn. Hence it makes a great target for people who *like* to see it damaged (and of course they're not going to reveal that about themselves); any other body part is much more likely to be commented on by somebody if it's even slightly imperfect.
ok I see what you mean, I googled it but it seems a little extreme not like him at all. And I don't have any tears and bruise at all
yes it's fairly normal. Many of my friends like seeing their girlfriends in a bit of pain and I do too. It's just those faces you make and they way you sound turns me on so much.
Of course I don't cause real pain, just a little discomfort like you said it. Makes me feel more like a man
If you need/want to inflict pain to feel 'like a man' you're getting it all wrong.
it just turns me on OK, makes me feel like I got total power, can't help it
He generally shouldn't be glad to see you in pain but there are moments when a guy enjoys a woman's discomfort ie) when she's gagging on his cock/deepthroating
why? where's the difference?
Its kind of a guy thing
harcore and regular p*rn tends to influence guys into enjoying it when a woman is getting nailed and they focus on the close up facial expressions and discomfort-
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