I'm attracted to Tomboys more than feminine women. Is it a problem?

I’m attracted to Tomboys A LOT more than feminine girlie girls. Sure I might see an attractive feminine woman and look, but it doesn’t give me that strange feeling that makes me really wants to talk to them. Something about a girl who does guy things, who’s tough, and how they dress and walk just drives me crazy. Feminine girls always bored me and I don’t care to be around other than for sexual reasons. I don’t have a problem with it, because I love being around tomboys and even dating them. Just the thought of a cute and/or cool tomboy makes me smile. The annoying problem comes in when guys tries to probe me for answers to find out what kind of girl I like since seemly I’m not trying to hook up anyone. Unless I say something, guys often thinks I lack confidence or worst they think I’m gay. A few times I was slammed with “I don’t like black women” label because I (Yes, I’m a black dude) approached a girl who happens to be white and a tomboy. So is there a problem being attracted to tomboys?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • No definitely not..

    Don't be held back by those who are trying to put you down. There is nothing to be shamed about. You are who you are and you like who you like.

    And you can love who you want to love. There is no problem. Perhaps it is because of how the rest of the world sees such things. Some of us are bias against those who differ from them be it appearance or nationality.

    We have not learn how to respect each other fully yet so surely from their point of view they would find it weird.

    Guys who are less musculine sometimes go for tougher girls, it is actually normal. It is partly due to the Yin and Yang attraction. It just sorts of completes them. Femiline girls and musculine boys. (I am Asian so do understand about the Yin and Yang theory) It is where opposites attracts.

    I find love more as the chemistry between people and how they get connected at the first glance, you should know it the attraction. And after that it slowly developes...

    But whatever the matter as long as you are clear about your decision and you will stand firmly about it

    that is

    If you like tomboys go for it!

    There will always be those who are out there to put you down.

    if it is your prefernce then you should stand proud about it. The more you try to hide and secrete the more others will want to tease and taunt at you but once they see that you are strong and you believed in yourself they have no reason to say anything. Unless of course they really really mend it more than a bad joke.

    A white tomboy why not?

  • People are attracted to what they are attracted to. Everyone has their thing, and there is nothing wrong with that, just as there is nothing wrong with being a tomboy. I am a tomboy and every man I've ever dated has loved that about me and told me about it. Tomboys have a lot in common with men, and in relationships and dating, it's always good to be with someone who can be your best friend, and tomboys have that natural vibe with guys, so it makes sense that they appreciate our company. And we appreciate them! I don't know what kind of guys 'probe' you about your taste, but they are lame if they are making value judgments on you for your taste. Friends won't do that. You are who you are, be proud of it. Trust me, I'm sure some of them are into things you wouldn't imagine! You aren't gay (not that there is anything wrong with that either) and I don't see the connection between liking tomboys and lacking confidence. If anything, tomboys aren't putting on all this makeup and trying to be something they are not and are usually quite comfortable with themselves, so it takes a confident person to not be threatened by that. Go, you!

    • Haha this^^^^ is why we like tomboys, and a lot of other reasons. I like tomboys because like you said they become your best friend and no offense to other woman, they don't just settle with the "wife role" and having kids, they have dreams and goals, the adventure continues. My last relationship with a tomboy was great because I didn't always have to decide where to eat or come up with the " fun" myself. It was a partnership not a alpha and beta relationahip. To sum it up I was challenged and we were both better for it.

    • @Carlosh93 well you said I couldn’t have said it better myse! Until I found this whole discussion here I was questioning myself if this is a toxic thing to have in a relationship but safe to say I may be older and my incredible best friend is a tomboy lesbian girl but we have the most adventurous fun ever ! I also had a thing for her for the longest time but being an actual mature adult I’ve come to the conclusion that I’d rather have this best friend for life than ruin it with a crush or lusting , besides she picks up the hottest girls which is fun

  • I don't know why it would be a problem. Every man has his different tastes. I am a tomboy and there have been guys who've liked me in the past. Actually what you've said about not liking girly girls becuz they are boring, i agree with that, becuz tomboys are unique usually. enough said

Most Helpful Guys

  • Not on your question topic I know, but

    'Strange Feeling that makes me really wants to talk to them'

    I get that feeling aswell, yet when I've asked other guys if they get it they all seem to say no,

    I have always said if you put 2 girls into a room, one of them the hottest, sexiest girls you can imagine and the other just your average girl. If the average girl makes me have that feeling I will approach her, because it makes her that much more attractive and intresting. It intregues me.

  • Your problem isn't with your attraction to tomboys, but with your reticence about it. If you would have simply told everyone "I'm into tomboys", the gay chatter, the confidence chatter, the anti-black-women chatter, would all disappear.

    P.S.: You're gay and lack confidence because you don't hit on girls, and you don't like black women because you hit on a white girl? I hope you're beginning to realize that you run with idiots.

    • I'm highly aware that I'm around idiots and not matter what I tell them they keep asking me about "a phat jank". It's hard to get away from them because I see them everyday at work and/or at school. I just ignore them because I don't want to give them any ammunition or a fix for the day. With a term like "phat jank", go figure what kind of guys I'm talking about.

    • At what point do you get new friends and hang with them? By the way, these fools aren't going to help you find your tomboy, either. If anything, they'll f*ck it up for you. Get away, stay away.

    • There are not friends just annoying co-workers and classmates. My friends don't care or pressure me about it.

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What Girls & Guys Said

6 3
  • no, why would there be?

  • You need a mirror of yourself?

  • Nothing wrong with that. What you like is what you like. And FINALLY, someone who prefers to go for the tomboys for dating and the girly-prissy girls for hooking up; instead of the other way around.

  • Whatever floats your boat bro. I've seen some cute ones

  • YUCK BALCK GUYS

  • It's not really a problem but it isn't the norm. Are you a less masculine type guy? Usually people are attracted to their opposite so maybe you like tomboys/masculine girls because you aren't very masculine yourself. No diss but that could be it. Also do you lack the confidence to go for a more attractive girl?

    • I'm a bit babyfaced, slim but slightly toned (currently working on the slightly part). Compared to other black men (who's scientifically one of the more masculine people), I'm considered less masculine based on facial appearance, but a lot more masculine that your stereotypical Asian guy. I look sexy in a suit not so much in a tank top and baggy jeans. Anyway, feminine women simply aren't very interesting to me as they bore me. The only more feminine women I'm into are some punk/goth chicks.

    • Just had to answer this one. I am a very masculine type. I enjoy traditional manly pastimes. I have a muscular, athletic build and I am competitive. Yet I find myself crazy for this tomboy type, that I have recently met. So not all conventions are necessarily true.

    • @n5346e same here !!

  • of course not. that's your preference. nothing wrong with that

  • nope. xD. everyones attracted to different types of girls. I personally don't like really girlie girls because they come with really girlie problems... but that's just me =P

  • Would you prefer to please yourself or other people?

    Do what makes you happy. We all have preferences.

    • Myself comes before anyone. At least until I meet that "special someone". I just find it annoying as hell when guys think I'm gay and I must prove that I'm not. Not that I actually do anything to prove or disprove. I can understand when girls probe me for answers but...GUYS! Adult men!

    • Screw them? I don't seek people approval, so I don't bother.