Sexual Health
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Guy friend asked me what my fantasies are? what my fetishes are?

guy friend asked me what my fantasies are? what my fetishes are? does that mean he wants to have sex with me or he's just curious? I've admitted to him since I've chosen to be picky about a guy, I've been wanting sex more and he knows this. we're both open to each other about ideas. He did ask me though about what I'm into and I wonder why? Also what I'm into is more hardcore than he thought I would be into, are guys intimidated by that?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Let me start by nothing that a guy often "wants to have sex" with just about anyone... most of the time! For a guy, sex is little risk and no investment. He doesn't get pregnant. He doesn't "ruin his name". He gets a boasting point. He could just walk off...

    So when you say "does it mean he wants to have sex with me", this is hardly an issue to me... I'm a guy and though a bit conservative on this front, known that almost all my guy friends would grab any offer of sex with both hands, for any young woman. No questions asked! They mostly see it as a free meal (which I don't agree with).

    By talking with you about sex he's obviously testing the waters. If he gets it, I doubt he'll say no...

    Lastly, as far as hard-core fantasies go, I might have been intimidated when I was sexually not very experienced. After watching a whole lot of p*rn, one comes to understand that (i) these things are pretty global (ii) what might seem bizarre to the logical mind can be quite pleasing the sexual side of us -- even rough sex, mock rape scenes, domination, being dominated, what not (iii) just because we have some bizarre ideas, we're not necessarily freaky persons -- as long as we don't hurt anyone. For instance, I like being beaten in the bedroom... and my partner gives it to me.

    • I know he's been wanting me for a while. I'm A tease though ;) I also have high standards, I guess I have fun teasing him . I haven't done sh*t to ruin my rep and he knows me, and I know he is considering. But I don't think I'm interested in him. thanks though, hard selecting a good answer but this is good. ty.

    • Stop teasing him. It makes you look bad.

    • I agree with CandleWax. Please don't tease the guy. It's very unfair. Being a guy myself, and knowing how guys are hard-wired, I know how frustrating this could be. While it might be a morale booster for a girl's ego, to feel wanted, to be chased, it's quite another thing for a guy. I strongly suggest that women who are not serious about sex should make this clear from the start. Once I get aroused with the hope of sex, it's terribly disappointing to take a no! That's how guys are built.

  • Its not likely he sees it as a complete perquisite to sex but he probably has some underlying interest, if you're interested, but I don't think those are his intentions. Like, I'm not saying it couldn't happen if your up for it, I'm just saying if you aren't, its no hassle, right?

    And as for if you're into hardcore stuff, ween him in softly. Some people are freaked out by that, some people aren't. I have 3 tiers of what I can tell people - Tier 1, the soft, average, 'quirky' stuff, anyone can hear about. Tier 2, the out there and more freaky stuff that I have to trust you to tell you about. And Tier 3, the 'you could report me to the authorities for if you were so inclined' fetishes that require not only a lot of trust but also for them to be of a certain persuasion.

    So start by telling him your little kinks that no ones gonna take issue with - he'll tell you his. If he's open about various things, tell him some more hardcore stuff. He'll tell you his more hardcore stuff if you have any. If your a big gerontopeadonecroasphyxiatransvestiphilic or something, tell him that at a later date, ahaha...

Most Helpful Girl

  • Why would it intimidate a dude? Kinky/hardcore stuff tends to turn them on from personal experience. I'm guessing he was just wondering, seeing if you were 1. Awesome and 2. Compatible with him. I don't know though, he was the one that asked, body language and tone can say a lot :)

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Not a mind reader...but...he could be checking you for sexual compatibility. The conundrum with fetishes/fixations is that we usually never trust the other person until we are well into a relationship and already having sex. Lots of naive females on here say "I would never date anyone like that"...of course they would because they would never know...I am dying of curiousity to know if you two have the courage to share that info with each other! I would guess that, on average, he will not be intimidated...but it could happen...if a female wanted me to rough her up...I probably could not deal with that...u are Anon...do you mind stating what you are into?

  • Well I'd say he probably wants some.. But honestly, I think hardcore'ish stuff can be fun.. Doesnt intimidate me at all. And also, do you like this guy?

    • not more than friends. we joke around all the time, we're just comfortable sharing ideas that's it

    • Alright:), you people should look at my question..

  • yes

  • What do you mean when you say 'hardcore'?

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