Sexual Health
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Why is it that I feel disgusted every time I have sex with my boyfriend?

Okk. Me and my boyfriend have 11 months. We have about three months having sex and its like I don't feel comfortable having sex with him. Its like the things he wants me to do feels wrong and disgusting. He's a really attractive guy but sometimes he just doesn't turn me on! Now with my ex its like I was more open with him. Me and my ex used to go at it like crazy and it felt great. My ex and I have done literally everything in the book & I can call myself a freak soo how come me and my boyfriend don't click at all? why doesn't he turn me on the way my ex did? what the hell is going on can somebody let me knoww! thx =]
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Just because you've gone with this guy for 11 months and call him your boyfriend and have had sex for three months, that all has nothing to do with how you bond with each other, like the sexual chemistry. He probably just doesn't turn you on and you should be wondering why you've even been going with him all this time. If you and your ex were doing so great why aren't you still together? But that proves a point. Just because the sex is good, that has nothing to do with having a really great relationship where both parties have a lot of mutual interest and similar taste in thing. Likewise, just because your sex isn't great maybe your relationship is. So just ask yourself if this relationship is happy and loving and if you totally enjoy being with him. If you can't say yes without even thinking, I think you should consider splitting since the sex part of your relationship is also not satisfying. What's really going on is that even though you're going together you don't really click together, or maybe you've gotten tired of your relationship before you even started to have sex.

  • I'm going to sound like a religious prude (not the case), but for many years women were virgins when they got married. Maybe those guys weren't as caring and compassionate as they are today, and that's inexcusable, but if you have a good guy, what's the issue? I don't judge people who have sex with 2 people or 102 people, but I think that having a number of partners at a young age might cause people to leave good relationships because the sex isn't good. Maybe I'm too blase about sex, but I don't think you can have sex with numerous guys and then expect to not compare them and come to negative conclusions. You call yourself a "freaK" and I'm cool with that, but maybe the new guy is not your speed. I had sex for the first time in my early 20s with a girl who had been with a couple guys and I can only be fortunate that she was so understanding, because I know a lot of girls who wouldn't have put up with that.

Most Helpful Girls

  • haha sometimes, you get used to it one way. then another guy comes along and is completely different. if you don't like doing something, you just have to say na, and move on during sex. like I don't like when guys want me to be dirty and spit on their dick or talk dirty, so I just smile and do something else, like give a bj, and I don't spit on it. pornstars get paid for that shit, and I don't see my guys throwing money at me. so yea, do what makes you happy. sex is important tho in a relationship, so if you can't get it right, your gonna eventually start looking for it somewhere else. you'll lose the spark, and don't think he won't either.

  • This is a serious problem! Maybe he's just not the right guy for you. You say he's a really attractive guy, but are you attracted to him? I find many guys to be attractive men, but I'm not attracted to them as in wanting to sleep with them. It's very different. To be honest, I actually had a similar problem, though I didn't feel disgusted, I just didn't feel comfortable enough to be open with my ex when we were having sex. He turned out not to be the right guy. No matter what we tried, it just didn't feel right to me. What's the rest of your relationship like?

  • Perhaps you love your current boyfriend as more of a friend, rather than a lover? He obviously isn't your style D:

    And WHY DO YOU DO THOSE THINGS THAT FEEL WRONG?! >:O Bad lady! If it doesn't feel 100% right 100% of the time, don't do it. No good can come out of something like that, if anything, you'll come to regret it.

  • This just means you have no chemistry, or it's too soon, or he's not confident enough. Do you ever look at him and *want* to have sex? If not, you should maybe break up, unless sex isn't that important to you in a relationship.

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What Girls & Guys Said

4 6

  • Personal Preference. You liked the way you ex was in bed and you want your new boyfriend to be like that and he isn't. Talk to him and say you want to try new things. Mix it up and try different positions. Let him know you like it however you like it and see if that spices things up a little. If not you can always try going to one of those adult stores and just looking around at what they have to maybe get ideas of something new and exciting to try. Good luck and I hope things work out well between the two of you.

  • It doesn't seem like you're completely over your ex.

  • A few thoughts:

    -Your new guy is different from your ex. You shouldn't expect that you'll respond the same to different people.

    -Don't confuse sex with intimacy. Simply because you're having sex doesn't mean there's an emotional connection. People often think that sex is a way to get emotionally closer to others, but it's not always so.

    -Feeling disgusted with sex can have lots of possible causes: memories of sexual abuse or sexual assault, religious/moral opposition to sex, or simply not liking sex with a particular person or certain acts.

  • Obviously you aren't physically attracted to this guy and you shouldn't have waited for three months before asking yourself this question

  • A mans charm probably has a lot to do with it. Did your ex create anticipation and did he create a sense of excitement for you before the two of you removed the first article of clothing? Did your ex seduce you with his mannerisms, actions, tone of voice, choice of words, and his his overall charm?

    A man has to seduce his girlfriend to make it enjoyable for her even if they are in a long-term relationship. The approach and anticipation is half of the fun for the both of you. Seduction begins hours before the two of you are alone together. Are these things you used to do with your ex?



    Does your current boyfriend completely skip seducing you? And does your boyfriend lack charm unlike your ex boyfriend?

  • Stop. If you can't stop, slow down.

    I have no idea what's wrong, but for most problems, forcing it makes it worse. Ease off until you're comfortable again, then take baby steps.

    P.S.: Maybe you're having sex with the wrong guy.

  • no one will ever know WHY one turns us on and another person doesnt. the fact is he doesnt, and probably never will. don't force the issue, and no wonder you do not enjoy sex, your not INTO IT. ie sex and the city "hes just not that into you" except the other way around. move on hun

  • it seems your just not ready in your relationship to do it or he isn't as good in bed or you don't like something about him.

  • The last girl I slept with told me I disgusted her. We had sex twice. Then one day I showed up at her house and saw her desperately cleaning all of her sheet and blankets. When I showed up, she went off on me for showing up unannounced. It wasn't true. Two hours earlier I asked her if she was avialable and asked if I could go to her house. She answered, "If you want". That day I made the mistake of sitting on her bed and having her go off on me. I felt like shit and, honestly, I haven't had sex with another woman since then. It's been a year. Even talking to women is hard. Every time I meet a woman, I stop and ask myself if I'm disgusting. My interpersonal relation with women is poor. I hope I can someday move past her verbal attacks.

  • I sometimes feel that reality is different than fantasy, I think of other things beside him to turn me on. When I'm with my bf, he doesn't always turn me on, I think about what he'll do to me and I'll tell him what I want and that helps a little

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